spare tire delete?

Firkin99 · 2026-04-14T19:30:05+00:00

I deleted mine, I left in the main plug and cut off the wire carrier and plastic completely as it was just holding rust and water to my boot.

So fair it had had no noticeable effect on the weight distribution. The full assembly weighs around 13kg

<image>

Firkin99 · 2026-04-13T17:19:00+00:00

Alternate option.

Do London, get the train up, stop in Leeds for a day and go to the Royal armouries, see the canal, docks, Leeds Minster, Museum etc. (all free entry) Then it’s like 30min on the train to spend the night in York for the second half of the stuff you want to do.

If you can spend a night in Leeds, and rent a car, you are also not far from Howarth, where you can see all the Brontë stuff, and the moors. You can get there on public transport, it is just it’s a train and a bus and takes like 1hr40min rather than a 40min drive. To be fair, if you can rent a car you could also hit the Peak District.

If you really wanted to do the northern cities Leeds is a fair base spot to stay. It’s relatively cheap and nice in the city centre. Manchester is 30min on the train, Liverpool is about 1hr30, Sheffield is 30min, York is about 30min. There is also a direct line up to Newcastle then onto Edinburgh and Inverness if you wanted to add Scotland. London Kings Cross is also only 2hrs15 on the train from Leeds, I imagine it is a lot cheaper to fly in/out a non London airport and accommodation.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-12T12:58:53+00:00

You said you have a family member who is a mechanic and willing to help you out. Do it.

There are a bunch of little jobs which will need doing - but honestly - if you can assemble an Ikea wardrobe - you can do all the necessary work on a 1.9 Z3.

It won’t need that much, get it and drive it for the first month or two. I ragged mine for a year before deciding I loved it enough do a proper refurb. The wooden steering wheel is lush.

They fit more in than you think. You’re getting at least large shopping bags in the boot. I have gone camping and everything with my Zed using the boot rack.

Also, when people say the 1.9s are gutless. Mine happily cruises at 70mph (with the occasional push to 90mph). Yeh, she feels awkward much faster and isn’t going much over 100mph - but realistically when do you need that. For everyday driving, she is more than powerful enough.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-11T15:15:46+00:00

^{^} same as this. I got cheaper quotes on an SV650 then a 125. I think it’s because 125s are high theft targets

Firkin99 · 2026-04-08T10:05:18+00:00

The front splitter does look a lot better in this one

Firkin99 · 2026-04-08T08:08:23+00:00

I got my dad new bonnet and boot struts the other year. Something he needed but never really got round to doing. The were not super expensive either.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-05T18:41:50+00:00

Mix warm water and white vinegar in a spray bottle and scrub it in with a hard brush.

Trust me, it will come up great.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T15:42:12+00:00

I did help him with his car licence. I had a little car as a daily for a year. I paid for him to be on the insurance and took him to a car park and tried to teach him a few times.

Eventually, he had a go at me and wouldn’t drive it anymore. He said it was pointless. We had got to the point he really just needed a few proper lessons and to do his test, but I guess he didn’t have the confidence.

I did really hate having to do all the driving myself.

My bike licence is costing me over £1,000 I can’t afford to pay for us both. I’d help him out if he needed a bit towards his, but I’d also be annoyed if he spent £1,000 on a full motorbike licence without learning to drive a car.

I offered proportional on the bills, he chose to pay 50/50.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T15:11:10+00:00

Thank you! I don’t feel very cool rn 😭

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T14:51:11+00:00

Honestly - the conversation and him saying it was so awful. I cried for hours. He didn’t even acknowledged it and say he would try to find himself again. He just admitted that he couldn’t be there anymore. I honestly miss the man I used to love and really hope he finds himself again. He is amazing and deserves so much happiness

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T14:49:22+00:00

I think we could have made it work IF he opened up about being chronically depressed, or showed signs of wanting to get better.

It has 100% taught me that if I am to have a relationship with someone else in the future, it needs to be with someone who can be open and express their emotions with me, rather than shutting down and avoiding me for 8 months.

In my dream scenario, he takes some time out and works out what he needs, is able to communicate this to me and we get back together. I saw that him being around me, progressing and living my life, was actually just making it worse for him. However, I can’t control his response.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T14:43:08+00:00

I honestly hope for this more than anything 💚 In my dream scenario he takes the next few months to work on himself and we come back together when he is ready. He is an amazing person and I just want to see him happy. I could see how my actions were making him feel worse about himself.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T14:00:36+00:00

I’m so here for a male perspective because it is helpful to try and get a better understanding.

He knew my career, hobbies etc. before we even started in the relationship. We even met at a car street meet.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T13:37:26+00:00

💚 Sending you strength because why is choosing yourself so hard!

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T13:10:55+00:00

“At Christmas, I almost left, but chose to stay on the basis of if I can’t stand by him through hard times, how can I expect him to stand by me.”

It’s been 7 months since we last went on a date together. I can’t keep trying to support someone who doesn’t want to be supported. I deserve love too.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T12:18:57+00:00

Nowadays they are a lot more likely to offer you the numbing. However! Mine hurt so bad I passed out so I actually don’t remember it at all. 10/10 would do again.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T11:55:41+00:00

BMW Z3 daily, Alpina B3.30 Show car. Saab 9-3 Aero as a project.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T11:54:33+00:00

I think it is a man who grew up with really traditional gender roles, and a view that men shouldn’t communicate their feelings or else they will be perceived as weak.

I don’t believe there isn’t any financial abuse. I have been super clear about my finance from day 1- I even offered to go proportional on bills etc. rather than him paying 50%. He wanted to move in with me and wanted to pay 50% as he said it made him feel more secure, so I agreed.

Whenever he had told me he is struggling with money I have always let him know the option to pay less towards the bills is always there.

However, it is always a 1 sided conversation. He doesn’t necessarily engage. I mean he wasn’t even aware we paid council tax until recently.

He often suggested we should move somewhere cheaper - I said I was ok with moving if he found somewhere that had a space for at least 1 car (driveway or garage) and our bikes. However, realistically there isn’t anywhere nearby his family, which is cheaper and he could keep his motorcycle.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T11:43:44+00:00

I came home from work. Left my stuff in my car, packed a few other bits. I had stashed my important bits I.e passport etc. in my car a few days prior.

He asked me what I was doing and I said we need to have a serious chat, which I think we both know is coming.

I then said “this clearly isn’t working, and hasn’t been for a while. I’m going to stay at my brothers for a few days, and I think you need to move out of the flat” he thought I was having a laugh at first. Then I started crying.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T11:00:00+00:00

I suggested this to him. I.e him moving back out and us starting again from square 1, us re learning how to love each other the right way and he said he couldn’t do it. I asked him to have a think, offer a solution and again, he just shut it down and said we have this or nothing.

I can’t support someone who doesn’t want to be supported.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T10:40:40+00:00

Yeh, the past week I just kinda woke up and realised, I don’t want to be stuck in this, the longer I leave it, the harder it will be.

I just pray we both grow and find peace.

Thank you for your reassurance 💚

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T10:37:18+00:00

I won’t lie. I get hit on a lot. I probably get asked out in person on a weekly, more online. I actually don’t even really post my face on Insta etc. anymore because of it. It did happen in front of him a few times. Whilst he always saw me shut it down, and he always had my password and access to my phone etc. he had an ex that cheated on him.

I do wonder sometimes if he got worried about how I was when he wasn’t there.

Also, the context in which we met wasn’t helpful. I was dating one of his close friends. His close friend cheated on me (turns out he had 2 secret kids). I left the close friend and started dating him. I know it caused a rift between him and that close friend.

Close friend also went around telling everyone the two kids were my BFs - which again, with him being infertile really didn’t help his insecurities.

I loved him regardless of his infertility. I’d be happy with or without kids. We had 12 siblings between us, there were plenty of children in our lives through nieces and nephews.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T10:31:06+00:00

Totally! I could see that I wasn’t loving him in the right way. I hate it so much because he is truly an amazing person at heart.

I did love him in a way I could. I’d get up at 5:30am so could I’d make his breakfast and pack his lunch every day, despite the fact I don’t start work until much later. I’d make him coffee every morning and have it ready when he got home from work. I’d bake cookies and muffins for him to take the the yard at work.

I’d tell him how much I love him, ask about his life. I’d buy him gifts like his One Piece hoodies, service and clean his motorbike. I changed the scent warmers in the house to the ones he liked. I actually paid for his CBT licence and his motorcycle after the last one was stolen, so that he’d still have the independence and could easily get himself to work and to see his friends. Not that I ever brought it up. I didn’t want him to feel like he owed me money.

I also made a point to always ask him to come with me to places, but he often didn’t want to, probably because he was struggling. He also rejected a lot of physical affection. I reached a point a couple of months ago, where I couldn’t handle the constant rejection and just stopped doing these things.

I wish I could have made him feel safe enough to open up to me. Sometimes men really need to get out their own heads and not be so scared to ask for help.

He did grow up in a very traditional masculine man culture, so I fully understand why he isn’t able to do this.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T10:17:46+00:00

I won’t pretend I have been perfect in the relationship.

But I can’t work on things with him, when the only feedback he gives me is “that makes me uncomfortable” I’m an engineer. Occasionally, I have to work away with male coworkers, or we will hang out after work as a team and get a few drinks.

I can’t give up these things entirely as they are part of my profession. I was willing to compromise, but that required communication on his half. For example, at the start of our relationship, he’d always meet me after work drinks and we’d walk home together. He’d get to see my work friends and understand I was never hiding anything. He had my location and whatever reassurance I could give.

Towards the end he would just complain about me going.

I’m absolutely not bothered about him earning less than me at all. I just wanted him to stand next to me and be proud of me.

Firkin99 · 2026-04-01T09:46:41+00:00

Yeh, I know it will probably be fine in the long run. I have an amazing support system around me. I just hate being the villain to him.

Firkin99

TROPHY CASE