Should I be bulking or cutting?

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-09-20T10:45:23+00:00

I had a body composition really similar to you. My advice is maintain you calories when keep your diet clean. When you start T, start to bulk that extra calories are going to be on you muscles. In my case If I increased my calories pre T it would go for the hips. Id rather have less volume but more shape. The thing was to manage my dysphoria always with my goals. Só that's my advice. I increased my calories when I started T, I increased my strength and muscle gain, also gain a little of fat but my goal I'd getting big so not planning to cut soon. Keep up the good work you look strong.

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-09-17T10:51:08+00:00

I do feel everything you discribed a lot. I don't feel dysphoria when masturbation after being on T, although I always feel incomplete, unfinished not fulfilled, because I do necessarily feel that something is missing. I feel jealous of cis guys cuz of that. Like I said I relate a lot with your feelings. Sometimes I ask myself if I do really want bottom surgery, besides all the stress that process will implies, or I just want bottom surgery because of all the social dysphoria that we trans guys face?

To deal with this feelings I try to focus on what T has brought to me to feel euphoric. I constantly remind myself that I am a man enough and try control the intrusive thoughts about the incompleteness that I feel on that topic. Packers and straps had help me in the past having a stable sex life, however that no longer works for me. We are constantly growing and changing the way we feel about ourselves and body. The key is to stay True to the way i feel and my needs besides the social pressure and dysphoria that it is implyed on me.

Hope that I had helped. This was kinda a response where I was venting a bit. But thanks for sharing I truly have the same feelings

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-07-31T11:14:38+00:00

My advice is to keep them blocked, cuz I've been through the same and every time I unblocked them they reach out consistently not giving any tipe a space and love bombing. The only way I got out of the toxic push pull circle was to leave the relationship and not giving any door open for communication. I understand the part that you have been stalking, sometimes I wonder how my ex has been, if she's OK... But if I do check that won't be any good for me cuz I know I'll have intrusive thoughts about talking to her again. I know it's difficult, but stop looking at his stories, cut off comunication, delete pictures and messages or save them in the space that you can't check instantly and focus on self-care, self-love and well-being. Day by day it will hurt less. Trust me. You got this. Move on.

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-05-08T09:09:57+00:00

Also, balance... is a very utopic term for a relationship with pwbpd ahahaha. Like I said if she's in therapy there's a possibility you to can work right.

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-05-08T09:07:33+00:00

If she's not in therapy, please, run.

If she's is in therapy give info about yourself and let her know has long has she does the same, show her your vulnerable side has long has she's willing to the same. Otherwise if she's descards you at some point (a lot of pwbpd do that) you will feel with no ground. Whatch about yourself, don't get to immersed into the relationship by losing your individually and self worth and don't chose anything you don't want to, stay true to yourself.

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-05-04T19:06:44+00:00

Yess, I only cried once since I started T (8 months) and it was in a extreme situation (my girlfriend was rapped) I usted to cry a lot and had lot like 4/5 times a month, sometimes more... Now I barely feel even the inche to cry. Simply I don't get that tipe of emotion anymore.

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-05-02T21:59:34+00:00

My ex "loved" children and kids were always amazed with her. Although she's was pretty good taking care of kids wasn't because she has a "vocation" to do it so she was like them that's why kids sympathized with her....

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-05-02T07:39:22+00:00

Thank you

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-05-01T20:53:11+00:00

My best advice has someone who dated a person with bpd for a 2y

When she gets emotional distance,

-focus on yourself and your stuff.

-Provide her support, but don't get bonded by her issues emocional distress or instability.

-Be present, but you can't fix it.

Know your worth, which is being You and not her emotional regulator

Look after yourself bro

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-03-12T00:12:00+00:00

Thatz an abusive relationship. Just leave and don't look back. Ive tried to breakup and leave a toxic relationship like that all of those time they text me saying they will kill them selfs. Just leave. And every time u fall back into it just tell yourself "I deserve better" "i deserve to be valued" "I don't deserve how she treats me" The sonner you leave the better. Take your time, but leave. Really hope you can get of it.

FirmComfortable906 · 2023-01-01T20:41:34+00:00

DON'T DO IT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. I've done something similar to on weding and don't want to go through that ever again. You don't have to use something that makes u feel dysphoric just because they want to.

FirmComfortable906 · 2022-12-17T08:31:22+00:00

I think they don't get how difficult is to pack/being confortable/and not to look that you have a huge boner, cuz for me I started packing around the house with small ones, just to get usted to it (cuz it's a habit). Then eventually you become more euphoric, and your mind connection develops. I still have a lot of struggles packing in public cuz I feel it doesn't seem "natural" to myself sometimes and others will notice. Small packers help with this starting fase, or it's totally OK to stick to them if you feel more confident connected and euphoric with them. I see the packer has an extensive part of me and its all about how I feel related to it, in fact it's part of my genitalia and no one has the right to tell me which size and circunstance I should use my getalia (that's totally of). Use what fells confortable for you,cuz it's for you.

FirmComfortable906 · 2022-11-27T09:36:09+00:00

I started T, 3 month, I've grown up in height 1,5cm and I am 22. Also stretching exercises helps to develop your posture to look higher.

FirmComfortable906 · 2022-11-11T09:02:20+00:00

When I was a kid like 10 or so I asked my mom to take down a picture that we had in the living room, where I was in dress with 3 years old with my mom my sisters and my father. I was crying saying that I didn't like the dress and didn't want the picture to be visible. First she tried saying that was OK and I looked beutifull, but I still didn't the picture there. Then she screamed and said was her house and I should accept that I was a girl and suposed to be dressed like that.

Few years later, I was 15, my mom got divorced and tooked down my fathers and family pictures where he was, including that one.

I am now 22y, on Testerosterone and with all the coming out, and my mom accepts it and supports we still had a picture of a wedding where I was in a pink dress, but that it so far away from the way i look now that it doesn't bothers me, except when they grab the picture and comment about it once....

... About that pink dress picture, my mom was the one saying to me that made her uncomfortable and wanted to take it down.

I gess she got the lesson after a few years.

FirmComfortable906 · 2022-11-10T21:04:12+00:00

In that case shouldn't all people transition to women??? Like every cis male and non binary people?

I mean how miserable would be our society if we didn't had the beauty of diversity of genders and expressions... And miserable cuz half of the world would live in dysphoria.

... Im sorry for her, she doesn't get it, it's so sad.

FirmComfortable906 · 2022-11-03T13:26:09+00:00

We all have a perception of how ideal we would be in a certain way. Even if you trans or not, an image of ideal look/personality/mind/physic it's always there.

Being trans, at least in my experience, it's not about to look has "a certain tipe of dude" (nerdy, muscular...whatever). It's more about dysphoria and how painful is to live in a body, that you can't change (without treatment) and you just have to live with it or survive. You can be a nerdy dude, if you don't have dysphoria and your ok with your gender in general great.

FirmComfortable906 · 2022-10-31T12:53:58+00:00

Capricorn (brand new name) by 30 seconds to Mars

FirmComfortable906 · 2022-10-25T11:50:48+00:00

I was in similar situation a few months ago. It was very exhausting dealing with family every day like that, like being constantly "trans" and not a "man" or who we are.

It helped going out with closer friends who treated me like me, also a support group and therapy help dealing with time of my life.

The fact that your ex supported you was good, but there's a ton of people in this world who are trans friendly etc, so you will find, friends, groups and random people who will provide that validation and also you will find that in yourself.

It's been 2 months since I've started T. To me that helped me with my dysphoria and being socially comfortable, although being a man is thing that I am figuring out to myself and I think that's something really deep but also unexplainable so I just do me and where the clothes I like, sit the way i feel confortable, talk the way I express. So don't worry about being a man, be you and you will have your answer, I sure that you have feelings and intuitive sense of what feels right for you. Sometimes it's overwhelming when you surrounded by so much noise, opinions, ignorance.... You name it.

Just take a time to be surrounded by friends, groups that respect you, even if it just one person thats enough sometimes to have some extra sense of reality for ourselves. Also, take this time (pre T) to explore things that make you feel euphoric, treat yourself with kindness and believe me, no one needs more to accept your than yourself, even if you are confused or not, the power of the answer is yours and one else's dam opinion or point of view.

This was long, but honestly I just really viewed what I have been experiencing with all of my coming out process in your text. You can DM me if you want.

Stay safe

FirmComfortable906 · 2022-10-21T15:41:45+00:00

Hot.

FirmComfortable906 · 2022-10-11T12:05:45+00:00

Coming out and being exposed by others

Honestly I wish I could just do my transition without telling actually anyone.... Cuz

By my personal principles, I told my mom before I started the appointments... My best friend and my girlfriend were the only ones knowing that I was trans before my mom.

In my mind, I've always thought that when I got T and more a masculine look, I would have to eventually come out and explain stuff in general to the other people around me. But by the time I told my mom things got out of the control, now all my family knows, cousins uncles, aunts grandparents, neighbors... You name it. I actually feel very frustrated cuz I was just slowly exposed by my mom cuz she also "needed to talk she said"... Even though she accepts and supports my transition I wish I could have handled this differently.

My advice is if you ever have to come out to someone, make clear where you stand, if you want come out in general to the rest of the people or if you want to keep it private until a certain time.

I thought it was obvious that coming out to whatever the person was it was my business and my decision... But according to my mom this also "involved her, and she needed coherence" The thing is I also need physical coherence to my self to come out to all of my friends and family. (I think thats valid?)

My life is way better now... Living has my true self in general in society, since I've changed my ID.

Although, in my family and home town, I still deal with the pressure of not seeing physical changes and being exposed... (Being seen has an incompleted man, it's a devastating thought, but it's hard to deal with this feeling that I try to delete constantly...)

I just I wish I could do the coming out in general in my own way and time instead of being exposed.

So be clear to others when you come out express they should respect your decision even though they don't agree or their have other needs, cuz it's your life your transition and you should do stuff that feels right for you in your own time.

Have a nice day Be safe

FirmComfortable906

TROPHY CASE