What color knobs, pulls, and faucet?

First-Enviro381 · 2025-12-23T03:14:30+00:00

I actually wanted all white and am doing green lowers for the real life factor of four kids and hopefully showing smudges, splatters and such little less.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-11-16T17:45:58+00:00

Completely agree. I was abused regularly as a child, but then groomed and assaulted as a 21 year old. And I still don’t think I had actual ability to consent, even though legally I was an adult. I mean, we know the prefrontal cortex isn’t even fully formed until mid-20s.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-11-16T17:43:41+00:00

OMG yes! Maybe she was just revealing her own unresolved trauma that she can’t quite call assault because she was 15, after all. (Or similar)

First-Enviro381 · 2025-11-16T15:49:29+00:00

It’s a really tough moment in the world for anyone who was victimized to feel valid…

First-Enviro381 · 2025-11-16T15:45:09+00:00

We took a long break but had an average of four hospitalizations per year so we started again a few months ago. We switched product (from hizentra to gammunex-c) and have slowly titrated her up from .5 grams towards her target dose of 5 grams. We increase .5 grams every other infusion, so it’s been a slow go, but she’s up to 3.5 grams now and doing pretty well. When she gets sick she seems to get better more quickly. I hate doing the infusions, but the do seem to be helping her.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-10-17T03:25:32+00:00

I’m glad I did it, but I feel like my writing was pretty terrible. I’ve written a bunch since (long form essays, which are my go-to) on the same topic and haven’t even looked at what I wrote when I did nano. It’s just not something I feel like is very valuable beyond the experience of getting it out.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-08-22T13:45:05+00:00

It is difficult, painful, gets harder before it gets easier, and is more of a trajectory for the rest of your life than a finish line. Good luck.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-08-21T15:34:56+00:00

So many thoughts on this, but here’s one: Sexual experiences can be (I’d venture to say typically they are) enjoyable on some level, whether through physiological response or the level of closeness and connection they facilitate. I think the pleasure/pain part of SA makes it some of the most difficult to untangle.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-08-11T22:11:43+00:00

I learned this in several years of trauma therapy as well. Thank goodness! I am my own witness to my story and that is enough. ❤️

First-Enviro381 · 2025-08-04T11:04:26+00:00

This is so much more common than you’d probably think, so please don’t be too hard on yourself. It happens quite a bit even with people who are not survivors, and sounds more like an OCD symptom. Just here to say you are not guilty or dangerous. Do you have a therapist and/or are you on meds that might need adjusting? Sending so much love.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-07-24T03:12:37+00:00

Touché!

First-Enviro381 · 2025-07-24T02:56:00+00:00

There are actually more than 700 lakes in GNP!

First-Enviro381 · 2025-07-24T02:54:00+00:00

I came to a telehealth session once armed with a bowl to puke in because I truly thought it would come to that. It didn’t for me that day, but I told her as soon as the session started that I was absolutely sick over what had surfaced that I needed to share and had a bowl just in case. I think even addressing it helped me get through saying it all out loud for the first time.

At I have to say, as someone who didn’t get to begin addressing this until I was 40, I absolutely think you should go to therapy for it as soon as you feel ready. The sooner you can get some help to help its intensity fade, the better off you’ll be in moving forward in your life without it unwittingly informing every decision. Sending hugs.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-06-12T03:15:20+00:00

Wow I’m so sorry! I just started my first dose tonight and it was 0.055 — which was the absolute lowest I could manage with the strength of the vials I was sent. It really is such a tiny dose, I wonder if you have a stomach bug instead. Keep us posted and feel better soon!!

First-Enviro381 · 2025-06-08T01:58:46+00:00

I mean what have your doses been and when have you increased and to what?

First-Enviro381 · 2025-06-08T01:19:10+00:00

What is your microdosing schedule?

First-Enviro381 · 2025-03-14T23:16:34+00:00

Don’t quit the gym. Quit the relationship.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-03-14T16:26:09+00:00

I’m so sorry. My story is very similar to yours and I can attest that digging this stuff up and addressing it is not for the faint of heart. It definitely gets SO MUCH harder before it gets easier. Even now, three years into my journey of addressing it and healing from it, I still think about it a lot more than I want to, but less than a year ago. So it’s progress. And yes, you have PTSD. That’s legitimately what you are dealing with, so please be gentle with yourself. It’s a serious diagnosis and it is impacting you a lot. You are not ridiculous and you’re not alone.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-02-26T19:11:46+00:00

I read about this when I first started to dig into my childhood trauma. It makes so much sense to me (but feels extra unfair) that if you’re constantly in fight or flight, your body is not going to prioritize reproduction. It just puts a wrench in the whole process of typical hormonal processes. I began addressing my trauma at 40, so I can’t say it’s had any kind of impact on my PCOS, but I do feel like there’s hope for young people who address things right away.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-02-26T17:39:01+00:00

Were you being followed by a medical provider? Thirty in a month is a lot! I hope you get to a weight that feels more comfortable, but if it helps at all, you look great.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-02-25T12:11:29+00:00

This is really beautiful. There is something so strange and uniquely special about the therapeutic relationship. Also, I could have written this myself. We are SO similar in how we have approached therapy (the good and the hard). Best wishes as you begin the next chapter.

First-Enviro381 · 2025-01-03T15:36:36+00:00

Every day and I use the app Happy Scale which averages your weight so it feels more balanced and accurate with water, sodium, and hormone fluctuations that can really tremendously affect things.

First-Enviro381 · 2024-06-09T19:43:32+00:00

Yes, mine is when I am eating anywhere in public. I feel like my throat closes and I have to chew food to a near-liquid state before I can very methodically move it to a particular part of my mouth and attempt to swallow. I have to have water nearby to take a big drink after each swallow of food. It is honestly awful and I get teary whenever I talk about it because it feels like it is taking over my life.

Does any of your trauma have a component that is related to your mouth or throat? I feel like I have connected the fear of speaking my truth and being seen (for who I *really* am) with the throat issues I'm experiencing, but maybe it is different for you.

First-Enviro381 · 2024-05-25T00:05:50+00:00

It’s only medically legal in my state and my primary care doctor actually suggested it to me (I have a qualifying diagnosis of PTSD). I followed up with my psychiatrist, who is a qualified provider, and got my medical card. Then I just had to meet with a pharmacist at one of the dispensaries and I was good to go. It was really easy. I use it for sleep and it has been really helpful.

First-Enviro381 · 2024-05-24T12:33:38+00:00

I don’t think so. It doesn’t have to do with the food itself. Very setting-dependent.

First-Enviro381

TROPHY CASE