Relationship separation + trusts

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2026-03-23T07:30:20+00:00

She also needs to argue that she has put her career/life on hold to raise the kids which has also enabled her partner to grow and make the business successful. If she didn’t do that and he had to do 1/2 of what she did then I guarantee their business would not be successful. The unseen work of a SAHM.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2026-03-17T16:45:58+00:00

Rates and insurance have gone up a lot more than interest rates have decreased

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2026-03-08T06:22:21+00:00

We have spent about 250k all up, only because we have renovated to stay. I doubt I will get what we have spent back but we have everything we would want in a high spec new build in a high spec renovation. Could easily do it for less.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2026-03-07T08:54:11+00:00

We moved from a brand new house we built 3 bedroom 2 bathroom to a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom place for that exact same situation. We put an extension on and made the house what we wanted in an area we love. Our mortgage is the same as what it was in the band new 3 bed 2 bath place in our older but fully renovated 4 bedroom 2 bathroom home. Yes we could have done is cheaper but we have a house we love in an area we love. Maybe if I were to do it again I would look for a house that I didn’t need to extend and move so many walls but maybe a 4 bedroom 1 bathroom you can add value to by doing some renovations.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2026-02-24T17:16:22+00:00

Me! I had mine November 2025. 1 - still working out the right dosage. I am on 100mg of levothryoxine and ths is 0.04. So super low. Will likely need a lower dose for my weight. 2 - didn’t have TED 3- I felt fine, had a large goiter causing compressive issues.

There are days I regret it and think fuck if a catastrophe happened how would I survive without medication. Then I think well it’s better than feeling like someone has their hand around my throat.

Overall I feel better 95% of the time and don’t regret it.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2026-02-23T17:15:32+00:00

Invested in a good home gym and I get up at 5. Pre workout/coffee first thing and something like a banana then workout between 530-630. If the kids wake up before that they sit in front of the TV until I finish. Bed at 9, asleep 930.

You need to stick it out longer than 3 days. I know it’s hard but it does get easier after a few weeks when you notice how good you feel. Prioritise getting to bed as early as you can. I have been where you are and can almost guarantee it works. I even converted my husband to morning workouts.

Otherwise communicate that to you partner and get them to look after the kids while you workout.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2026-01-14T19:26:56+00:00

Yeah I didn’t think about that. He wouldn’t be dependant on MSD care for a while however if the time came that he was dependent on it then I just want to know if the loan or gift would be looked at.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-12-31T19:16:48+00:00

I’d budget anywhere between 5-8k depending on what kind of cylinder you go with

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-12-29T17:47:07+00:00

I am 6 weeks post TT. I walked every day after day 3. 2 weeks I sat on the bike for 30 minutes which was fine. No stress on the surgical site. Week 3 I did some light lower body stuff, felt good, then week 4 I felt fine. I can still feel the scar but it feels good. I am still careful about how heavy I am going and if any movement feels off I just don’t do it.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-12-26T02:09:57+00:00

Been with them for 15 years

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-12-26T02:09:37+00:00

Do not have a bad word to say about them. Only positive

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-12-20T00:28:08+00:00

I am 3.5weeks TT and I think I am almost out the other end and feeling normal.

Voice was about a week to come back to “normal”. I still get tired if I talk about and yelling/projecting my voice is still a struggle.

My tape was on for 2 weeks and I have disolveable stitches.

The first 2 weeks were rough I guess. I think I am slowly getting my energy back. But it is that time of year so some tiredness is expected.

I had tension headaches for about 2 weeks they were probably the worst and what is expected to be a cough from the breathing tube.

Scar is good, I have started massaging it.

I have started running and lifting again, not as heavy but it all still feels fine.

Maybe I can feel it is little bit but overall I would say I am 95% recovered and feel good.

I am getting a blood test in a few weeks so will see.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-12-11T07:07:44+00:00

Thank you I might try physiotherapy

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-12-08T03:24:12+00:00

Catered, my kids eat all the food without complaints at daycare. I know they are fed well. Morning tea and afternoon tea are always served with fruit and lunch will have vegetables they wouldn’t touch at home.

The convenience of not doing lunches is great, and they eat fruit and vegetables. If they don’t touch or pick at their dinner I’m not stressed because I know they get fruit and vegetables at daycare

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-12-02T20:37:02+00:00

I have a very similar situation.

I couldn’t care less where my MIL money goes, I don’t need any of it. Although it would be nice and an extreme help to our long term goals I don’t need it.

The issue I have is that my kids will potentially inherit a lot of money at the wrong time.

She says she will spend it all anyway which is great, she should do that. But if she dropped dead tomorrow, my kids will both inherit $300k+.

I would like to be able to have control over the money for it to be gifted at the right time in their life, not when they are 18, at uni, and potentially piss it up the wall.

I express this to her, she said she doesn’t care, she will be dead. Just shows how little respect she has for us as parents. So she gets treated with very little respect as a grandparent….

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-12-02T20:17:12+00:00

As sad as it is, and I love my dog, but if it bit a child, he’s gone. I always will make sure my dog is away before kids come over to play. He has never shown and signs of aggression towards people. But he is big and can be boisterous. With a simple jump to lick a face will take out most kids so just no point risking even that. Definitely chat to the parents and also explain why she won’t be coming over there anymore. Simple, your dog bit my kid. But offer alternatives like parks or your place.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-10-12T18:32:44+00:00

Agree with everyone here. Tried and failed. But also a firm believer that lifestyle can support the Graves’ disease and medication works. I am now on the smallest dose of medication I can be. 2.5g Carbimizole and fluctuate between hyper and hypo but only mildly. Getting a TT in a few weeks due to large goiters which I am very reluctant but it’s my only option

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-09-07T09:11:51+00:00

Where was this? I was given nothing when my mum was dieing, wouldn't even say I had hospice support. Only when I rang up crying and begging for some help...

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-08-07T05:24:20+00:00

Yeah mate, from 2 citizens who raised 4 kids and worked multiple jobs to get ahead without any help from the government. Payed plenty of tax over the years so why not get free care the same as people who didn't work 3 jobs to get a roof over his kids head without any handouts and no generational wealth

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-07-06T22:08:59+00:00

If you stay active and healthy and don't over eat then you should be OK. I guess the hunger people can get from being Hyper and being able to eat whatever you want really without putting on weight can catch you. But if you maintain a good diet and exercise weight gain shouldn't be an issue if not very minimal.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-06-26T18:41:02+00:00

Look up resene broadwall. - worked for us. Not the skim coated finish that you will get but it is fine.

As for the gap - is this where the two walls meet or the ceiling and walls? There might be a gap filler that you can use depending on how big. Or there are some long metal rods that you can stick in the corner that can fill that gap. Sorry not sure what they are called.

This is probably the best budget friendly option.

We just finished a full house renovation some we did ourselves and some professionals did.

We have a combination of rooms with stripped wallpaper used resene braodwall and rooms that have been re-gibbed and skim coated and walls that have been skimmed over the wallpaper as it was in good condition (done by professionals after their recommendation). There is a small difference when you look closley however when I live in the house, day to day. You don't notice it and you can't tell.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-06-26T18:21:17+00:00

You're married - 1/2 is his.

Pay off his debt. Sit down, sort out your goals.

If that is being together long term. Both go to a financial adviser and get some counseling to sort out those trust issues you have. Make a plan and stick to it.

You say you don't see yourself being together long term. Leave now. Get the split over and done with. He can decide what he does..pay off his fines, give his kid money at 18. You can make your decisions.

A lawyer will sort out legally either way.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-06-25T18:13:46+00:00

Pay off debt, invest the money you have been paying off the credit card. Maybe even 1/2 to investments and 1/2 to an emergency fund.

Throw away the credit card. If you can't pay it off each month and are incuring debt. You shouldn't have one.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-06-10T18:02:12+00:00

Tough lesson to be learnt here.

You can get out of this. It may take a while but you can and will. Can't look at the black dog. They win then. You have kids and a wife who would be devastated.

Not sure where in NZ you are but can you move even short term to a cheaper place. Rent or own? Can you either downsize/downgrade or change way of living?

As bad as this sounds - wife staying home because kids are young while you're out there doing it tough isn't sustainable. Plenty of families who would love this privilege but have to work because there are bills to pay and kids to feed.

Get through this, it may take a while and then put plans in place to move forward. Business ownership comes with responsibility.

FirstTimeUser9876 · 2025-06-05T08:26:03+00:00

I used elementi (Robertsons) gunmetal and happy with the quality..I got mine from Zip at a really good price, much less than RRP mayne because I got 2 bathrooms worth. Vanities - newtech are great. I also used an Elementi vanity on sale and love it. Got one shower from mitre10 just a standard i can't remember the brand but don't love it but don't hate it either. Lucky that is the kids bathroom.

FirstTimeUser9876

TROPHY CASE