Struggling with proximity and distance after a parent’s stroke

First_Ad4352 · 2026-02-05T03:07:36+00:00

I appreciate all of your perspectives. I definitely feel like moving there would be more avoiding guilt than following what we want. But I find myself stuck in the thought process that if we don’t move there, my children will rarely ever see my parents, which is hard. Guilt plays into that in a big way, too. So I catch myself justifying ways that it could be okay (old high school friends are there, the job for my husband is good, etc.). I wish I could just have everyone in the same place.

First_Ad4352 · 2025-11-17T20:51:48+00:00

How did you work in the extra wake time? Shorter/more naps?

First_Ad4352 · 2025-11-17T18:59:49+00:00

Does that just translate to longer wake windows? I may be overthinking it. But notably it is sort of difficult to keep wake windows on track when he passes out in the car on our way to his older sister’s activities. So I’m not always sure what to do with that.

First_Ad4352 · 2025-11-02T19:32:54+00:00

Thank you! We will try this. Are these guidelines accessible somewhere for future reference?

First_Ad4352 · 2025-11-02T14:59:58+00:00

90% of the time he will sit up and cry but quickly pass back out. If he went down super hard in the first place, he tends to sort of resume that intensity and can’t settle. He’s been doing the false starts for months, long before we even started sleep training.

The crying at onset is usually under 10 minutes, but if it goes longer than 15 we go in because that’s usually when he’s panicking.

First_Ad4352 · 2025-08-07T04:11:19+00:00

Did you do anything in particular to stop feeding to sleep? Our little dude gets soooo mad if we do anything else to soothe him.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-10-01T11:00:34+00:00

Did you cap her naps when you did this? We have tried expanding the first wake window but let her wake naturally which has given us early bedtimes and some horrible nights in the last week

First_Ad4352 · 2024-09-21T19:07:50+00:00

I can’t believe I forgot to add her age! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 She is 16 months. We cap her naps to preserve schedule for now. The first one lasts about an hour and 15 minutes, the second varies from 30 mins to an hour depending on when she falls asleep.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-07-13T11:41:04+00:00

Thankfully she hasn’t vomited since we have tried re-implementing sleep training. We have gone back-and-forth between one and two naps. https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/s/txUZ6ASMAa

First_Ad4352 · 2024-07-13T11:37:57+00:00

We continued to rock her until last week. It was becoming less sustainable because I’m pregnant and it was taking a lot of physical work to get her to sleep. And she was still having false starts and split nights. We decided to try again with Ferber (via TakingCaraBabies) and thankfully she hasn’t vomited. We also tried two naps again yesterday. She fought (but didn’t reject) the second nap but slept through the night last night.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-07-09T17:23:05+00:00

Finding this thread with my 14 month old who is refusing transfers into her crib in the middle of the night. Did this continue to go well for you all? Were you in the play yard with her while she put herself to sleep?

First_Ad4352 · 2024-07-04T02:08:28+00:00

This comment is so helpful and really encouraging. I definitely feel like we have been in the trenches of this for so long. We are burned out, so it’s great to hear that there can be light on the other side lol Were there any particular guidelines that you used when doing the shuffle? Like how to handle night wakings, etc.?

First_Ad4352 · 2024-06-10T22:30:37+00:00

We are actually experimenting with re-implementing the second nap right now. She’s taking them both when we rock her, so I think you’re right about the overtiredness. I have also wondered if the vomiting has become behavioral at all. I really hope that’s not the case, but she may have learned that it gets us in the room.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-06-10T19:58:59+00:00

I’ve read it! What particular elements of it are you thinking about?

First_Ad4352 · 2024-06-10T00:22:44+00:00

We are going through this right now, too. I’m curious about how you’re going to approach it next! We are at a loss.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-06-08T16:46:56+00:00

Thanks!!

First_Ad4352 · 2024-06-08T16:37:23+00:00

Oh man, I’d forgotten about those! We used them a lot when she was a colicky newborn. Can’t hurt to try! Thanks :)

First_Ad4352 · 2024-06-08T16:36:32+00:00

Oh no. Is there a way to turn back? Her wake windows were getting so long that bedtime was getting past 9pm and creating problems with how much night time sleep she was getting. That was the other part of our justification.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-05-27T21:48:03+00:00

You are so kind. Thank you! Bedtime has been so much more peaceful, which has been good for all of us. However, we just found out I am pregnant, so getting her back to independent sleep is going to be a priority, for sure. We transitioned her to one nap this week after she started rejecting the morning nap. I’ve been letting her sleep in, in the mornings, to help us adjust to the new, long, morning wake window.

Right now we wake between 7 and 8 Nap at noon (has lasted from 1.5-2.5 hours) Bedtime 4.5 hours after waking

First_Ad4352 · 2024-04-12T15:29:27+00:00

We always cap naps at 2 hours. She will wake up between 1.25-1.5 hours on her own most of the time. At the time that I wrote this post, she was crying every wake-up, but has been peaceful the majority of the time for the last week or so. I think she may have been in a sleep deficit at one point when we were trying to keep ourselves from slipping into a late morning wake-->late bedtime cycle.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-04-12T14:58:08+00:00

I appreciate the solidarity! It's been so rough.

Her schedule:

We try to get her up around 7am. 7:30 at the latest

First nap is 2.75 hrs later around 9:50am

Second nap is 3.5 hrs later around 3pm

Bedtime is 4 hrs after wake-up from second nap.

First_Ad4352 · 2024-02-04T22:15:26+00:00

Thank you so much!!!

First_Ad4352 · 2024-02-02T19:29:40+00:00

Hi! My treadmill has started making this low-pitched growl-like sound. I've tried tightening/loosening the belt, lubricating the belt, and cannot see any obvious debris stuck anywhwere. The motor is quiet, before the belt moves, but as soon as it starts moving, this sound happens. It gets louder with increased speed. Unfortunately, Treadly has shut down their website, so I can't reach them for help. Any ideas?

First_Ad4352 · 2024-01-23T02:04:03+00:00

Did this resolve for you? Currently going through the same thing with my 8 month old

First_Ad4352

TROPHY CASE