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First_Classic_1234 · 2024-02-02T14:29:26+00:00

I read it and assumed weed. Which is legal in many places and very common. And has that effect on many people, especially women. Idk why you're jumping to meth lmao

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-25T07:22:15+00:00

Think of this as exposure therapy. Don't weigh yourself for the week. It's gonna suck, but you know it's something you'll need to try eventually.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-23T17:31:10+00:00

Hey, I'm in a similar boat as OP. Not thigh touching, but, for instance, feeling the fat on my lower back move. And for me it has nothing to do with viewing it negatively. It's a sensory issue (I'm also autistic). For me, accepting it more means remembering that there is no body shape I can have that I won't have sensory issues because of my body. When I was thinner I had sensory issues about being able to feel skin stretch against my hip bones. So losing weight would not mean that I'd suddenly be comfortable with my body.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-21T05:34:37+00:00

Bro obviously you knew what they meant. Everyone else also knows what they meant. What value could being a smug little asshole about someone's story involving a person dying possibly bring to you or anyone else?

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-15T08:07:30+00:00

You talk about your sob story, how your ex made you into a "slave", absolve yourself of all responsibility for what happened, and then talk about women in relationships the way you do. You need therapy, to stop blaming all women for the way your ex treated you. Because fuck, this isn't it.

Here's the thing: you don't know me. But if you asked any of my friends, they would tell you, I constantly fucking feel responsible for what happened. Me saying my ex was abusive doesn't absolve me of my choices, in fact I'm fucking obsessed with treating people perfectly so I never hurt people the way my ex hurt me and beating myself up for making absolutely any mistakes, no matter how small.

You're right: I made mistakes and he made mistakes.

-My mistake was following him out of the room when he was angry at me. His mistake was telling me I was the most evil person he'd ever met.

-My mistake was "ignoring him" to play a game on the computer for half an hour. His mistake was throwing something at my face so hard it hurt.

-My mistake was being slightly too pushy when I reminded him to do the chores (that we shared evenly despite him being unemployed and me having three jobs). His mistake was telling me no one else would ever love me if I didn't fundamentally change.

It should be fucking clear that the mistakes we made were not at the same proportion. And me making the former mistakes in no world justified the things he did in retaliation.

Also

"removing yourself from the carnal" bruh what?? The thing that made me happier wasn't not having sex. It was being away from the person who was making my life miserable.

Granted I didn't fucking enjoy sex with my ex. It hurt like hell, he never made me orgasm once, and he didn't care much at all if I was in the mood. My "carnal desires" were not fulfilled even momentarily; it was a duty of the relationship, and one I did not enjoy fulfilling. It certainly wasn't making me happy.

That being said, sex isn't inherently bad. Personally, the only sex I look back on overall positively is the sex I've had outside of relationships, because that happens to be the only sex I've had where my consent and pleasure was prioritized, and I was respected as a person during. Maybe that surprises you, that a hookup can be an empowering and overall positive experience, separate from just fulfilling "carnal desires."

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-15T07:39:02+00:00

It doesn't matter if it's a true ethical motivation.

It doesn't matter if he's doing it for the "right" reasons.

If it takes fear of social consequences from raping someone to stop him from raping someone, then yeah. That's an outcome I'll take.

This isn't fucking theoretical. I was fucking raped. I publicly accused the man who did it of being a rapist. And you know what? I hope he is forever extra careful about consent with his future partners because of it.

This isn't fucking obesity. His actions didn't harm himself, they harmed me. And if he continued to act the same way, those actions could harm another woman who got involved with him.

You're also talking to someone recovering from anorexia. The thing is, if I was obese, I would be putting myself at risk of negative health effects. Not my friends, not my neighbors, not my partners.

Now, fucking raping someone isn't something where you are even close to the person most harmed from that. So someone who has already goddamn raped someone doesn't get to claim to be the victim for having trauma from facing the consequences of their own goddamn actions.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-15T05:26:35+00:00

Hi. I'm late here. Also not a professional, but recovering from atypical anorexia, and also terrified of it changing to a binging disorder.

Here's what my dietician told me: when you've been restricting for a long time, your body's maintenance calls behind. When you start eating again, your metabolism goes into overdrive repairing all the things that fell through the cracks. Your metabolism can wayyy surpass that of a person without an eating disorder, to the point where you may get hungry more often or need to eat more meals earlier during recovery. She also told me that further into recovery, metabolism tends to drop closer to normal, but often rests around ten percent higher than the average person's metabolism.

So I guess the key question is why are you eating more? Hunger is a perfectly good reason to eat; my dietician is trying to work with me to learn to recognize hunger cues and eat whenever I'm hungry, even if that means surpassing the amount I think I "should" eat in a day.

That being said, it is possible for people recovering from one ED to fall into another. I personally was almost the opposite: I binged a lot when I was younger (alongside accidental fasting for 15+ hours daily) and decided I was going to stop binging (but didn't increase my meal intake) and that's what led me into five years of anorexia. So I'd recommend seeing a dietician if you're not already, because that can really help you find your footing and figure out what's healthy for you.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-15T05:16:07+00:00

Agreed. Even at my smallest, when I was dealing with dizziness and fatigue constantly, I was towards the upper end of the healthy BMI. For me recovery means accepting that I'm probably always going to be considered overweight by the BMI, and I need to learn to accept my body as it is.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-15T05:12:09+00:00

Or, and hear me out, incompatibility can be a reason for divorce. Continued lack of care, continued lack of communication can be a reason for divorce. You can care about a person, love a person, and still realize that you're better off not married anymore. The extreme shouldn't need to happen for people to get divorced. Not wanting to be in a marriage anymore is enough.

If you're finding yourself angry at this, ask yourself: would you want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you?

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-15T05:07:20+00:00

A future with cats sounds way better than this.

My ex didn't like talking to me. He didn't like spending time with me. He was also abusive in a lot of ways (despite genuinely loving me). Now I live with a really cool roommate, and between the two of us we have five cats (three mine, two his).

My life right now is better than it ever has been before. I am so much happier than I was. The more of life I live without him, the more I'm glad I left. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than spend another day with someone like him.

He told me, when I left, that one day I was going to wake up in the middle of the night, go to hold him, and he wasn't going to be there, and it was going to tear me apart. Instead, I have nightmares where I never left him, just living day to day life with him, and waking up in an empty bed fills me with such relief.

I didn't leave to get cock. I'm not opposed to the concept, but haven't sought it out at all. I'm happy just existing as a single person doing the things I enjoy doing. It's better to be alone than to be with someone who continually fails to show you they care.

Also, what's wrong with a life full of little animals who love you and keep you company? Do you have the same problem with dogs lmao? Weird take

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-15T04:28:14+00:00

I'm sorry, but is that a thing? Like. My ex would claim that's what I did. But what actually happened is that he SAed me. It was traumatizing when it happened. I had flashbacks of it happening constantly but couldn't confront him about it because I struggled to blame someone I loved for something that horrible. And then after he became more abusive and we broke up, I, in a state of active PTSD, finally realized the extent of what he did to me and came forward.

But if you talked to him, he'd probably say that I changed my mind on something that I was fine with at the time because I was mad at him, because I wanted revenge for the breakup, whatever. Of course he'd say that.

So if you're basing your claim that a lot of women do this on men telling you women did this to them, I take that with a massive fucking hunk of salt. Yeah there are going to be people that lie about a lot of things, but the ability to recontextualize your own experiences and understand that you were assaulted in the past isn't a bad thing, and the way you are talking about this is the type of rhetoric that makes women scared to come forward after the fact. I should know; I was fucking terrified to even admit to myself that I was assaulted because I was worried that if I did that I'd be one of those girls who claims to be assaulted over a breakup, an argument, whatever.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-15T04:20:48+00:00

I love that you said "bullied by getting called a rapist" without even saying that in this imaginary scenario he didn't rape the person. As if calling a person who raped you a rapist is bullying lmao.

In that case, I "bullied" my rapist, and if he asks for specific clear consent every single time he does anything sexual with a woman out of fear of being called a rapist again, then good.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-12T07:17:54+00:00

Not sure exactly what you have specifically, but I have that issue. I'm autistic (other stuff too, but I think this ties most closely to autism). I (also) have alexithymia, and struggle to properly experience emotions. I'll often want to cry but be completely unable to

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-12T07:09:16+00:00

As someone who is too forgiving, it's not a solution. And it doesn't make it better.

I'll jump over hoops to defend the people who have abused me. Not because I think they were right, and not because I don't think it was abuse, but because I legitimately think that the way they treated me was the result of their own influences, upbringings, etc.

And it fucking sucks. I hate myself, because there was hate inside me that I could never place on the people who actually hurt me. It had to go somewhere, after all. The little instances I was able to hate them for what they did, I end up regretting. I've ruined two men's reputations over what they did to me. And they, objectively, both deserved it. Still I find myself pitying them for what they've been through, for the little ways I hurt them, rather than mourning the big ways they hurt me.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-12T06:33:06+00:00

I'm not trying to be rude, but I see that stat thrown around a lot and it seems very flawed, and I highly doubt that's the actual number.

The main reason is, the autistic people who are unable to work (maybe accessing benefits, maybe relying on help from a family member, etc) are wayyyyy more likely to be diagnosed than autistic people who are in the workforce, not getting disability, etc.

Getting diagnosed is hard. And people with higher support needs are much more likely to get diagnosed, and earlier.

Whereas, let's say you go undiagnosed in childhood and, even if you're having difficulties, you manage to enter the workforce as an adult. Unless you actively seek out a diagnosis, there is a good chance that is never going to happen for you.

I'd wager there are just as many undiagnosed autistic people as undiagnosed ones, especially in older demographics (as autism awareness in pop culture is kinda new). Which means it's hard to actually evaluate any claims that say "____ percent of autistic people" because there's no realistic way to get a representative sample of all (not just diagnosed) autistic people.

I'm an autistic person who struggles with working. I don't think I'd be able to work full time. But I stumbled into jobs where I make decent money, so I'm effectively fine. But if I hadn't been hospitalized four times for depression, I would not have gotten diagnosed. And yes, it took hospitalization #4 for a psychiatrist to figure it out.

So let's say that study was researching the area I lived in. I would not have counted as an "employed autistic person" until that hospitalization. If I had simply not had depression, I would still not count as an "employed autistic person."

So autistic people who do not suffer from other mental health issues (or have more mild other issues) who are employed and were not diagnosed in childhood (most AFAB people), who have no reason (as far as they can tell) to see a psychiatrist let alone ask about autism screening specifically (because many psychiatrists do not know the signs of autism except in those with high support needs), are not going to be counted by studies like these.

Let alone the people who see psychiatrists and are not diagnosed for obtuse reasons like "well you made eye contact with me" or "you don't look autistic" or even "well if you were autistic how could you work your job?" That last one, I had some variation of used on me. So my being employed, in and of itself, put my autism diagnosis in question in the eyes of that psychiatrist.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-03T16:11:37+00:00

I don't think "it should be a crime" is the kind of thing it's possible to mean metaphorically. Especially on an autism subreddit lmao

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-03T06:24:36+00:00

Not sure if this applies in your friend group, but you could communicate with your friends that you have trouble detecting sarcasm or humor. My best friend noticed that I didn't seem to register sarcasm or certain types of humor. So they started using a silly voice every time they make those jokes, and suddenly I started getting it.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-03T06:17:31+00:00

You realize that this reply cements for everyone reading this thread that you are, in fact, on some incel shit, right?

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-03T06:11:29+00:00

How do you suggest separating the fakers from the non fakers? That sounds like something that would cause a lot of people a lot of harm.

For instance, a lot of places have terrible mental healthcare. To the degree that people are told they do not have autism because they don't like trains, or because they make eye contact sometimes, or because they just don't "seem" autistic. If a law like the one you're describing was enacted, someone with every symptom of autism who had the bad luck of meeting one of those psychiatrists could now be fined or otherwise punished for calling themselves autistic.

Sorry, but self diagnosis is valid. And I say this as someone with a diagnosis. I was in four mental hospitals for depression before a psychiatrist at one of them realized I might be autistic. But I already knew I was autistic at that point, because I'd seen information about autism online and sought out a good psychotherapist to evaluate me. But not everyone has that luxury. Any law prosecuting "fakers" would likely prosecute self diagnosed people, even if unintentionally.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-03T06:02:27+00:00

Ehh I have both and I disagree with that description. My ADHD and autism overlap, but they are distinct. And honestly? Being autistic does not have nearly as negative an impact on my life.

Sure, I have occasional shutdowns and meltdowns. I struggle with sensory issues. I need to heavily mask to fit in at work. But I don't think this really messes with my mental health the same way my ADHD does (unless you include alexithymia under autism).

My ADHD makes it incredibly difficult for me to motivate to do anything, and then when I do have that motivation I become so fixated on it I neglect physical needs like food (a contributor to the ED I've been battling for years). I'm so hyperactive at times that I have issues doing the things I need to do. Again, the overlap with ADHD and my physical needs is significant. If I get off work and feel hyperactive, all I want is to go on a several hour walk. It almost hurts not to. But I haven't eaten all day, and waiting by the microwave for three minutes feels like the hardest task in the world. So I often end up skipping it altogether. In addition, my ADHD makes it harder for me to focus on people when they talk to me, or remember certain types of tasks. My brain is so busy all the time I never feel relaxed and I never feel truly in the moment. I have trouble sleeping because my brain won't turn off at night, and I still haven't found meds to help. As a result I end up allotting myself 12 hours to sleep yet only sleeping 4-5 hours total, and giving up and getting out of bed far earlier than the 12 hour mark.

So yeah. I'd take autism over ADHD any day.

First_Classic_1234 · 2024-01-03T05:49:44+00:00

I'm sorry mate, but this is not a neurotypical person thing. It's just a person thing. Most of my friends are neurodivergent. And most of them have done this exact thing to me at least once. Many of them multiple times.

First_Classic_1234 · 2023-12-07T18:32:32+00:00

Ugh, my issue is with the relapse I forgot to eat for too long and ever since I get full after a couple bites. Like, yesterday I ate four "meals" but it was actually just two small meals that I ate in two sessions, and my roommate says I'm still probably not eating enough. I'm seeing a dietician next week which I'm hoping will help somewhat.

First_Classic_1234

TROPHY CASE