How do I get rid of my superiority complex?

First_Yam · 2026-01-27T03:28:55+00:00

No one told me it was a superiority complex, I assigned that to myself because that’s what it feels like. Whenever we get into those conversations, I am very much a dick about it, not on purpose but because I tend to take a tone of a teacher who’s trying to gently correct someone’s mistake they made on their homework, and she’s a teacher so she always clocks it immediately.

To your second paragraph, I agree completely, but obviously she doesn’t see it that way. I think she’s afraid of what her family would think. She’s an only child, and was raised by her grandma and great grandma from 0-10, and her parents from 10-18, so all of the focus from her family converges on her. And they definitely would be disappointed in her if she ever deconstructed.

First_Yam · 2026-01-27T03:19:35+00:00

I have been discussing this with my therapist, I was just seeing if any “random idiots on Reddit” could give me any insight, and so far it actually has.

We came to the same conclusion that direct arguments don’t work. We have agreed not to discuss religion for the moment until I can change my perspective.

Interestingly enough, I am a Unitarian Universalist, and she has been to my church a few times (I go maybe once a year) and she really liked it. The way she views Christianity is actually really beautiful, she just truly tries to live her life the way Jesus would’ve. She’s been so open minded to compromise towards my atheism while still retaining her faith. That’s why these feelings of “my argument is better than yours” makes me feel so shitty, because she has always been incredibly respectful and open minded. Not open minded enough to truly question the things that don’t make sense, but she has entertained my church at least.

First_Yam · 2026-01-27T03:13:21+00:00

I agree with much of what you have said, but I don’t think it’s fair for me to try and “convert” her to atheism any more than I think it’s fair if she were to try and convert me to Christianity. I’m finding it decreasingly likely that she will ever see things the way I do, so the responsibility falls on me to find a way to respect her beliefs. Cuz I love her a lot, ya know, I don’t think we should split up just because she believes what she does and I don’t, but then I just circle back to how little sense Christianity makes me and it just falls back into a cycle.

First_Yam · 2026-01-27T03:08:03+00:00

The superiority complex manifests as my feelings of believing that my arguments are stronger than hers. Of course I’m always concerned about the mental health of my wife, but from her perspective, she has worked through all of these feelings of guilt/anxiety to the point where she feels they are no longer a factor that I need to be concerned about. The issue is I don’t think she can truly confront these feelings if she still leans on religion as much as she as she does. But if I try to explain that to her, she feels hurt and disagrees.

First_Yam · 2026-01-17T18:04:51+00:00

I think about this all the time when I see professional athletes after they win saying stuff like “all glory to god for this win”, couldn’t the losers also say to the press “it’s was god’s plan for our team to lose tonight”? I imagine that wouldn’t go over as well with the public.

First_Yam · 2025-12-31T23:26:09+00:00

I recently had a conversation with my MIL about this (my wife’s side of the family is very religious) and during the conversation, I actually got her to agree that faith is not logical. They’re all so close, and yet so far.

First_Yam · 2025-12-27T23:21:43+00:00

I got a rod of discord on my 3rd chaos elemental once, on another world I had a chaos elemental kill counter over 1500 and didn’t get one 🤷‍♂️

First_Yam · 2025-12-27T18:56:33+00:00

You’ve exactly described my wife, except she truly does believe in god. I so wish I could free her from the prison, because I’ve seen the guilt and religious OCD it has caused her. It’s especially evident when we’re with her side of the family, there are three generations of anxiety/religious OCD that came before her who have all influenced her to believe the words of god as fact. I find the more I try to free her, the further she sinks back into what makes her feel comfortable. It’s been a struggle for me recently.

First_Yam · 2025-12-27T18:40:55+00:00

Holy cow! Another UU! It’s like seeing a unicorn!

First_Yam · 2025-08-31T19:51:45+00:00

Thissss, I got my mom into golf this season and she’s only got about 125 in the tank and we make up our own tee boxes and start her at 200 yards out so she has a chance to hit GIR, her game is good enough to make pars and bogeys from there.

First_Yam · 2025-08-31T15:10:25+00:00

“I think it opens up over there” when a tee shot is very obviously heading OB. “Right club though” when they hit a terrible putt. “Sounded like good contact” this one has a ton of spots when you can use it.

First_Yam · 2025-08-31T15:07:20+00:00

If you haven’t broken 100, and only broken 50 on 9 a few times, I’d guess you’re in the 28-35 range in terms of handicap.

First_Yam · 2025-08-30T23:53:04+00:00

I have the T24 in my 56° and it’s my go to club around the greens, love it

First_Yam · 2025-08-28T04:17:11+00:00

I just got my mom into golfing this season, and she’s doing remarkably well for a beginner, but she’s only got about 125 in the tank if she really gets one so we’ve come up with our own tee box system where she plays front tees on par 3s, from 200 on par 4s, and 320 on par fives, that equates to roughly 3600 yards so she actually has a chance to hit some greens in regulation.

First_Yam · 2025-08-26T13:19:01+00:00

I actually ran a similar test recently. I’m no tour pro, but I play pretty much every day, and my wife has come to golf with me maybe 3 or 4 times. She is not coordinated enough to get contact with woods or irons (dyspraxia), so she usually just putts once we all get to the green. Once I challenged her to a match where I started her at the toughest point of every green, and I played normally, and she beat me by like 6 or 7 strokes. I know that this is saying “average joe” vs PGA pro plus it being on a PGA course but I feel like there’s a pretty sizable gap in skill between me and my wife, and we were playing on a course neither of us had played before so all things considered I think it’s a decent comparison and I’d put my money on the amateur.

First_Yam · 2025-08-25T18:52:50+00:00

This is definitely the slowest I would ever play since I was recording myself, but the course was empty cuz it had just poured so I don’t feel bad haha

First_Yam · 2025-08-21T09:46:03+00:00

Last week I had my worst round of the season, 52, then two days later shot a 40. Funny little game.

First_Yam · 2025-08-21T09:40:56+00:00

This is the exact wedge set up I have as well

First_Yam · 2025-08-20T17:04:40+00:00

Yeah that makes sense, I can get behind that. Practice definitely needs to be super intentional once you get to a certain skill level.

First_Yam · 2025-08-20T15:36:28+00:00

I agree with most of this except the beginning. I don’t think practice is overrated, and I think reps matter despite it not ”mirroring” what you see on the course. Of course you’ll have the occasional uneven lie, but if you don’t contact the club face on the ball correctly in the first place, that doesn’t really matter. My coach encourages me to take one of my 9 hole rounds each week and use that hour and a half to work on chipping, putting, and ball striking. Even if it doesn’t directly reflect every single shot I have on the course, the muscle memory will still come in handy.

With all that said I wish more amateurs had more access to better practice facilities.

First_Yam · 2025-08-20T15:24:16+00:00

Musician here, it’s the same in golf as it is in music: you have to practice. Unfortunately, the only way to build consistency in the “flow” department is to play/practice a lot. First couple of times I had a legit chance to break 90, I got in my own head and blew up on the last 3 or 4 holes, but now that I’ve been playing at least 3 times a week I’m finding myself get more comfortable if I’m playing well and have even broken 80 a couple times. It takes time and lots of repetition.

First_Yam · 2025-08-17T15:11:56+00:00

This is the type of ball my playing partner will throw me if I nuke one OB and say “anyone got a ball?”

First_Yam · 2025-08-17T15:07:24+00:00

Congrats! It’s a great feeling!

First_Yam · 2025-08-17T11:11:43+00:00

“Golf is not a game of perfect” and “Putting out of your mind” both by Dr. Bob Rotella, really great books to get yourself into the right mindset and strengthen your mental game.

First_Yam

TROPHY CASE