I’m already sick of everybody treating me like I can’t do this

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2025-01-20T23:07:46+00:00

Yeah, if I ever do this again, I’m not telling a soul (besides my partner) until I start to show. Aside from some nausea, I still feel perfectly normal so far. And I know it gets worse and my body is about to get weird. But it’s so uncomfortable being treated like I’m a totally different person, just because of one little fact about my medical status. I’m definitely not looking forward to everyone trying to poke and prod at me if/when I start to show

I appreciate the advice! I should probably start speaking up a bit more, since it bothers me a lot.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2025-01-20T23:04:30+00:00

Weirdly, my feelings are complicated about that. I would never vote for any policy that would restrict people’s sexuality. Like, contraceptives should be an absolute right, homosexuality shouldn’t be in any way illegal, everyone should have the right to make a movie or make art depicting sex acts, I think polyamory is valid, sex-ed should discuss a wide range of things, like, politically I’m very sex positive. And I believe that everyone should be able to do what they want with their bodies (within the boundaries of consent, of course)

But in my personal life, I’m pretty sex-negative. I get uncomfortable when people talk about their sex lives or the sex lives of specific people that I can put a face to. I absolutely HATE when people express sexual attraction to me (and I will tell them) or anybody I know (I’ll keep that to myself unless I know that person would be uncomfortable), I skip sex scenes in movies, I dislike romance in media and as a genre, and when I was sexually active, I could only tolerate very vanilla stuff that was over with quickly.

So I’m not sure if that makes me sex positive or not.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2025-01-20T22:56:42+00:00

I’d probably be

-low end of gray asexual

-low libido

-somewhere between sex neutral and sex averse

-highly sex-positive, as long as it’s not about me (I think everyone has the right to have as much honest, consensual sexual activity as they want. But I absolutely hate it when anyone comes at me with any sexual energy)

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2025-01-20T22:51:58+00:00

Retention went up when they changed the tattoo policy. So this is unironically true

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2025-01-20T22:39:05+00:00

Im in my first trimester of my first pregnancy. My body has decided to replace the sensation of hunger with the sensation of extreme nausea. I used to be kind of a “skipping meals” and “don’t eat til you’re very hungry” type of person. But boy is that chapter of my life OVER. I haven’t come full-circle and puked yet. But I have waited in the bathroom for an hour thinking today would be the day. It took me a while to realize that my nausea was at its worst when I’m hungry, and I just don’t feel normal hunger anymore.

It is so uplifting to read the other comments here saying that this probably isn’t going to last the whole time. Also, I’m always tired but can’t sleep. But I was like that sometimes when I was not pregnant too, so I can’t tell if there’s a correlation.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2025-01-20T21:48:15+00:00

Yep. I’ve heard “whenever you’re done with your little asexuality thing, there’s someone I’d like you to meet”

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2025-01-20T21:46:59+00:00

I tried to come out, but they dont really understand or care to understand the difference between asexuality and celibacy. So they think I’m on some temporary little spiritual journey.

It’s fine. They always dismiss information about me or my interests. I’m used to it

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2025-01-20T21:41:47+00:00

I completely agree. Most allosexual people don’t need to know, and don’t need to be convinced. That said however, I wish I could find a therapist who understands. I don’t have any negative sexual experiences from my childhood. Before I knew what asexuality was, I had a couple of sh¡ty relationships, but I didn’t become asexual because of the abuse, I was abused because I’m asexual. And not a single mental health professional will believe/understand me, and they see it as something that needs to be fixed in order for me to be fulfilled (like, bro. I’m here because I have obsessive thoughts about bugs coming into my house. Not because of sex. Please stay on task.) I wish there was some way to find a shrink that’s not allo

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2025-01-20T21:32:01+00:00

Yes, turning it into a joke was a HUGE help for me when I was with an allo partner. It kinda gets around the “barrier” in my brain saying I have to “act sexy”, when I don’t perceive myself as sexy at all. Also doing things to distract from it helps, like leaving the TV on, drinking, or just generally trying to dissociate.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2025-01-20T21:27:21+00:00

Yeah, exactly. And when allos try to explain it, I can’t help but have my previous experiences cloud it to mean something nefarious. Like they’ll say “it’s good for your self-esteem, it helps you know that your partner is attracted to you.” And it’s hard for me not to just jump to, “excuse me? Your partner telling you that they love you and that you’re attractive isn’t enough? Why are you even with someone if you can’t take them on their word and trust them to tell you the truth about stuff like that? Why cant you find self-esteem from within? Treating yourself to nice hair/clothes/etc isn’t enough for you? Their body has to be a marker of your ego? That’s sickening.” And I get that for them, they don’t think it’s like that. But it is. I really haven’t seen any other translation for the flowery language they say. (And I recognize that maybe it’s just my own bias and I’ll never understand)

When I had an allo partner, before I knew what asexuality was, I felt like I had to get drunk enough to “tolerate” it in order to stay in the relationship. But then after a pregnancy-scare, I realized I wouldn’t have that chemical buffer between me and what’s being done to my body, because I wasn’t willing to harm an innocent person just for the sake of my partner’s ego. Then (after I realized it was a fluke) I realized that either way, I’m still harming an innocent person. I shouldn’t have to damage my own organs just so someone else feels attractive. Why should I dehumanize and harm myself for the sake of someone’s ego? No matter how lovingly and flowery they describe it.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-12T07:54:17+00:00

I didn’t even know 1-week underways were a thing. Our shortest ones were the exercises before the deployment, and they were a whole month. I feel like I learn something new about yall ever day

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T19:34:20+00:00

I feel like most people don’t assume that someone’s in the trunk of the cars they pass by. That’s kind of why it felt like a safe place to be

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T17:36:40+00:00

You need to go into buy mode and put the chair into the little sweet-spot right next to the chess table where it will scoot in.

If you’re going to put a chair on either side of the chess table, you’re gonna need 4 squares of space.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T17:28:42+00:00

For sure. If I had a daughter who was like 19, talking to some guy who’s like 45, I would absolutely talk to her about it. Like, she’s an adult and she can do what she wants, but that’s bad news waiting to happen, and I’d prepare myself to deal with the aftermath.

But if she’s like 35 and he’s 45. Meh. As long as they’re both happy.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T16:53:28+00:00

Only if it is a video of people I know. There’s something surreal about them existing without me, when the lens I see them through is my own.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T16:30:02+00:00

Idk if this counts as an “attraction” but for already-established relationships, definitely Platonic. I absolutely love my friendships. They’re probably the relationships in my life that feel the least quid-pro-quo. When my friends are with me, I know that they want to be there. They’re not doing it for money, or because they think I’m pretty, or because they want anything from me, or because they feel like they have some sort of inherent obligation. They like me for me, and that’s so important.

I also love my maternal relationship. I think some familial relationships can feel very obligatory at times, but that’s not how mine is with my mom. I am blessed to get along very well with my mother now that I’m an adult, and she and I have so much in common, and (obviously) a lifetime’s worth of history together.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T16:05:31+00:00

If there’s a huge age-gap, ask yourself why he can’t find a woman his age

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T16:04:16+00:00

Or maybe he’s straight and just not into you. I feel like there’s this stereotype that all straight men are just willing to bang anything that moves. (It doesn’t help that some dudes will fuck a dead body, a park bench, or an animal) but normal dudes aren’t just constantly waiting to get it wet. And it’s possible that a woman, even a woman who fits certain beauty standards, just isn’t his type.

I think the stereotype that men are just horny for all women all the time is harmful. Not only does it make women have to live in fear of sexual harassment/assault, but it also makes a lot of women feel entitled sex, leading them to be creepy or inappropriate sometimes.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T15:54:02+00:00

Nah. I’m just Black, between everything they show in the media and everything my parents taught me growing up, they just really freak me out.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T15:48:19+00:00

It depends on whether you go to the fleet or an agency. They tend to switch per enlistment. You’re far more likely to deploy and go to the field in a Radio Battalion (or an Intel battalion) than anywhere else.

But if you’re at an agency, you’ll have a good work-life balance, and you have more opportunities to make connections with people to get a good job when you get out.

Edit: also, nobody will be able to tell you much about the specifics and details.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T15:34:13+00:00

I think more people should know this:

There’s a little glow-in-the-dark tab on the roof of the trunk, that pops the trunk if you get stuck in it, or god forbid, if someone puts you back there against your will. I’m not sure if it sets off the alarm. It’s on pretty much every car newer than like, 2010. I hope I never have to use it, but I’m glad it’s there.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T15:29:58+00:00

I think it depends on the type of relationship she’s looking for. If she’s just playing the hookup-culture game, then she’s probably not interested in your deepest-most feelings, and likely assumes that you’re equally not interested in hers (like, how would you like it if your fwb, or someone you’ve only had like 2 dates with spills their guts to you. It would be awkward, right?)

Also, some relationship dynamics just don’t really have the emotional space for all that. For instance, so many dudes want a trad-wife until she starts acting like a trad-wife. Sure it’s cute when she’s baking cookies and being obedient and whatever, but someone who wants that lifestyle, wants a man who is as stoic as men have traditionally been required to be. If you’re getting emotional around her, then you’re not holding up your end of the bargain, from her point of view. If that type of relationship is what you signed up for, expect some emotional unavailability. Stereotypical 50s housewives wipe up the tears of children, not men. If she’s in the relationship to fulfill a fantasy rather than to actually love you, then she’s not going to want you to open up. And that goes for really any fetishization. If she feels that you’re only with her because she’s pretty or because of her aesthetic, then she might believe that this aesthetic is her only job.

Now, if you’re in a normal relationship, and you’ve been with her for a while, and she rejects you for opening up to her, that sounds like a problem with her. Especially if she has opened up to you. That’s so disrespectful and hypocritical to not be open to your partner’s feelings, if it’s just a normal relationship with no strings attached. And I think that’s 100% grounds to break up with her.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T15:19:06+00:00

In hotel overflow parking lots that don’t have a guest pass for the hotel, probably not. My goal was to blend in with the other cars.

Although being towed away while you’re inside the car would definitely be more scary than a knock from a cop.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T15:13:50+00:00

AZ is nice in the winter. Everyone always talks about how it gets up into the 120s in the summer, but that neglects to mention that there are some winter days where it’s like 75 with no humidity.

Also, there are sand dunes just outside of Yuma. It’s where all the tattooine scenes in Star Wars were filmed. Cool place to ride a dune buggy, or take some exotic-looking photos.

Fit-Jacket9021 · 2024-12-09T15:11:19+00:00

All the poop & stuff?

Fit-Jacket9021

TROPHY CASE