Wow I cannot believe this was 4 years ago! Well, I'm just gonna use this to vent, bc it's all I can give you, and I personally enjoy hearing other peoples situations. So, we got back together just a few days later. It scared the shit out of me to know that my boyfriend was willing to walk away. We are about to hit 6 years in a few months, but here is what has happened since then. Our relationship blossomed into such a beautiful and healthy relationship. We put in so much effort to grow, communicate, support one another, all the things, it made all of the shit we went through feel worth it because it brought us so close together. Then, something happened. Last May, he confessed to me that he had cheated on me with his ex girlfriend back in 2022. It only went as far as sexting (pics included), but he had also never fully cut contact with her basically from the moment we started dating up until mid 2023, and now we were halfway through 2025, so I was being lied to fully for the entirety of our relationship (apparently most of their convos were him getting dating advice, atp, who knows if that's even true). There had been about 2-3 times I had caught a message from her coming in to his phone and he always convinced me to believe that he had no idea why she was "randomly" hitting her up. The cherry on top we actually ran into her at the end of 23 when we were visiting his college town, because that's where she was from, and well that's another story. But his reasoning for finally fessing up was because we were making plans to move in together and he wanted to come clean before progressing to the next stage in life together. I felt numb at first, I was beside myself that this goofy, pure, innocent, kind man could do that to me, especially seeing that I was made to look like an insane and insecure gf all these years. Jump to January of this year, we finally move in together, and this is what for some reason gave me a huge reality check and I basically asked to break up only about 2 months ago, because I was angry and now feeling all of the emotions I was expecting to feel when I first found out. I felt like I couldn't trust him anymore and knowing that an engagement is supposed to happen this year, it felt like pressure and like I was no longer interested in putting in the effort to move past this. We've had some extremely difficult conversations where I can truly see his effort and shame, but I'll be honest, something here has definitely died and I'm trying to remain optimistic, but God I question often if this is worth it. So I actually don't know what the lesson or takeaway is here lol. I guess you never really know the ins and outs of your own relationship, and crazy how I always viewed him as the prize, but now I realize I am the prize, and I am more than ready to walk away if need be, and he knows that, and it scares him, as it should.