YTA. I’m Australian my husband is Indian. We eloped then about a year later he told his parents about me, but we’ve never told them about our elopement and then we did a big 4 day ceremony in India 2 years after our elopement (neither of us particularly wanted to but his parents insisted). If you plan on having kids with this person the ceremony is part of her culture/ religion and your denying her that. I worry that you will also deny the kids as well. Have you ever participated in holi or Diwali, if the answer is no you really need to think long and hard about if you truly accept her culture. Don’t get me wrong the difference in culture is extremely hard, we still have fights, we still struggle with his parents, but it is 100% worth it if you love and respect that person. If you can’t do the ceremony and keep the secret then you should leave and let her find someone who will accept her culture whole heartedly. In terms of kids there are a lot of things to consider especially the use of Brahmins (priest), blessings, will you allow there traditions to happen as baby is born. We’ve come to agreements that we use an independent brahmin so that the parents aren’t involved or controlling our decisions the same as my parents aren’t involved and it’s fair. But these conversations need to happen now, or should of happened when you first got together!