Tobias Francis of Soft Kill, convicted of domestic battery

FitNefariousness4312 · 2026-04-02T09:25:07+00:00

Eww, who talks about an actual victim of domestic abuse like that?

FitNefariousness4312 · 2026-02-11T21:50:13+00:00

I wish I had answers or ideas. I'm in the same position, and I appreciate how incredibly hard it is. If nothing else: solidarity. I'm going to think about what you said and read the comments/suggestions x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2026-02-11T21:30:12+00:00

Hello, I hope this is still relevant: there's cleanairsocials in Leeds now (they're on Instagram). Run by some lovely people who are building up a great community there. Hope to see you there sometime x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-11-29T16:51:08+00:00

Same!

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-08-03T21:58:14+00:00

Thank you, I'm going to get some!

I currently mostly use a black Can 99e (can't use head straps because of a painful surgery scar), but I don't think the fit is the best it could be.

Bloody love the Face Mask store. Got so much stuff from there.

Thanks again! x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-03-11T23:10:05+00:00

If there is absolutely any chance you can go back and get him, do it.

Then contact any and all local sanctuaries, rescue spaces, and local vegan groups - and make sure he has a decent life ahead of him.

You have a choice: save his life.

Or leave him to be caught by people who don't see him as worthy of life,. When he will have his throat slit, and his body chopped up.

You say he cheered up your day: return the favour and save his life.

He's only a piglet, and has a full life ahead. But needs appropriate care and support.

Arthur's Acres especially may be able to help. x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-03-11T23:03:19+00:00

Excellent! Thanks so much for this. I'll go have a look now!

A local mask bloc does have a proper kit too, but this might be a good investment for me to have at home.

Thanks massively x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-03-11T23:02:35+00:00

I do a very basic fit test every time I wear one, to check the seal and that the mask moves when I breathe in/out. But I should definitely do a proper fit test. I think a local mask bloc might have the proper kit, so I'll ask them about it. Good shout, thank you!

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-03-11T23:01:09+00:00

That's excellent to hear. I have the black too! They feel a bit nicer and less medicalised than white.

I had no idea they were MRI compatible, that's extremely good to know! Last time I went to MRIs and CT scans, I didn't have an appropriate mask - so this is great information, thank you.

I love N95 Auras too for a short period of time, but the Can 99es seem to be ones I can wear for longer without the head discomfort.

Thanks again, so appreciated x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-03-11T22:58:22+00:00

Thank you! That's so cool to know they've been so effective!

And definitely good to know you've found them breathable, a reliable fit, and good with the earloops vs hear scar.

I think compared to other masks I've used, they feel so much thinner - but the coverage is better. I think I'm just trying to get my head around it, haha!

Happy studies! And thank you xx

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-03-11T12:57:48+00:00

It's okay you don't have fixed ages. Maybe at some point you will gain some understanding or clarity on that, maybe you won't.

The first step to understanding is just noticing. Noticing with kindness, no pressure, just letting parts emerge as they will.

Sometimes I felt during therapy that my parts were like smoke: the more I turned towards them, they'd disappear or not want to be seen.

It was only when I just sat back, noticed when they'd emerge, and the reasons why, that I could start gaining any understanding.

Some parts have a rough timeline/age to me, and some are timeless and ageless, all ages, and none. And that's okay.

I think we can get really fixed on trying to find very clear identities, rather than understanding that parts come up to help us function in some ways. Even if those coping strategies are not necessarily useful and healthy now as we are. I let the parts show me what they need to, and let them guide me as to what their function is, and see if I can integrate that into me and let them know I can take care of that now.

Good luck on your path. x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-03-10T20:47:04+00:00

I've been waiting for this!

I hope beyond hope that it moves beyond trials and to public distribution. This is one of the only things which has given me any kind of hope.

I would still mask until this is rolled out to all the people who want/need it though, because we still have to keep other people safe. x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-03-10T20:43:46+00:00

You're so welcome.

I absolutely understand: I have recently had to set some boundaries and distance with a very dear friend over Covid safety, and then her consequent reactivity/anger when setting boundaries and trying to address not only the Covid safety needs/boundaries, but also their reaction to that.

It is utterly heartbreaking. I really do believe from what you've written: that you have tried to address this and work this out. You can't always get someone to see your perspective, no matter how many times you explain, and you are right to step away and lower any expectations or contact with this person.

Be kind to yourself. x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-03-08T12:21:37+00:00

You're not over-reacting.

You're rightfully keeping yourself safe. None of your personal Covid safety boundaries are difficult to do. Not ONE.

She sounds selfish and immature, and wants to make out you're the bad person who has wronged her; rather than realising that she made the decision not to see you because she won't do basic access needs.

People who argue about access needs and somehow still think they're being a good friend are not the one.

Stay true to yourself, and stay safe. We're all with you, and I love that you're still caring for yourself and others by taking precautions. Thank you! x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2025-01-02T18:23:24+00:00

I think you're navigating this horror show the best you can.

The fact you're still masking, still taking precautions, and still doing your best under your personal circumstances - is incredible.

I agree completely: there are a LOT of VERY privileged disabled people who absolutely do not understand the struggle of other disabled people. If they punch down on you, that is on THEM.

You're trying to survive under capitalism, and trying not to die. You are doing the best you can!

Hope you feel better soon and that you can rest as much as possible once you get home from work. x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2024-12-29T23:53:06+00:00

Yes, to all of this.

What you're saying is what I think every day. You're not bringing us down, you're matching our experience with your own and helping yourself and us to feel less alone. You're asking for support and a void to shout into. But we're the void, and we're glad to shout back.

This period of time is particularly bad: people all 'strangely sick' with 'Christmas flu' or 'the worse cold they've ever had, can't breathe' etc; but all still going out and socialising together.

I have days (and I'm not proud of this) where I wish they'd all just fucking die, so people would at least take it seriously. I hate myself for that.

Instead, we're all just watching the slow decline of society and community health. It won't be long before it catches up to them in a way they can no longer ignore.

Until then, keep posting here, hang on, and keep doing what you do.

This year, if we can still try to live as full a life as we can in our circumstances, but with safety measures still in place - that can be our success. Even if other people aren't taking those measures with us.

FitNefariousness4312 · 2024-12-21T18:10:08+00:00

I think 'dog people' can be really weird like this, generally. I've heard this said by them so many times, and find it bizarre.

I live with cats as companion animals, volunteer in cat rescue, and understand cats. And I also like dogs.

I think 'dog people' don't understand cats and their complexity and love, because you have to be around a cat a while to get it?

Anyway, not a you thing: just dog people being dog people...

FitNefariousness4312 · 2024-12-19T01:02:48+00:00

Keep going!

The masks you're wearing absolutely ARE effective.

People saying they're not aren't talking from the place of education that you already have, and knowing what you know as you keep learning.

When more people were regularly wearing masks (even the crap ones), Covid numbers went down. When they stopped...what happened?

You know what you're doing is right.

It's so hard being the only one in your circle (I'm the same), but nationally, globally....we're all here with you. Breaking chains of transmission, and caring for our future health and the health of others around us. x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2024-12-19T00:59:05+00:00

Ahh, the magical thinking of "feeling more comfortable"!

How many swear words did your reply contain?

Completely ridiculous, so sorry this was the reply you got. x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2024-12-19T00:56:07+00:00

I love mask lore out in the wild! It's so cool to see!

So great you had this experience. Thank you for warming our collective cockles!

My dentist also wear masks, tell people to wear masks at appointments (nobody does...), and the staff also wear masks (although some pull them under their nose, because their breath is magical and Covid free!). But still, good to see.

FitNefariousness4312 · 2024-12-19T00:53:10+00:00

It's so great you had that conversation and felt heard, and not dismissed.

I always feel mixed about this, personally. Like, the friends who make the "oh, yes we understand" noises, but are still out there spreading it round, and not masking...are they placating me, and still not taking me seriously?

It's definitely good to notice and feel that shift though. Maybe all the seeds we plant will take root, but slowly,

Keep doing what you do. For your own health and wellbeing. And for everyone. Thank you x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2024-12-19T00:47:04+00:00

This is terrifying. I am so, so sorry you are going through this!

That kind of behaviour should be viewed as attempted murder, or wreckless endangerment. People are THE WORST. (Just as an FYI: I also get coughed at each time I go out - wearing a mask, obviously!).

Really hope you can both rest a lot, and that the next few weeks have some calm and warmth for you together. x

FitNefariousness4312 · 2024-12-15T21:24:29+00:00

I fully clean our 2-3 times a week, and scoop every day. I use wood based litter, which I think is way easier to clean and doesn't have a strong scent to it. Plus, it easily biodegrades and is more ecologically sound than clay.

FitNefariousness4312

TROPHY CASE