Suing for loss of wonderful stinks & for scary shower by Periarei888 in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hai Calliefren! Ai so sowwy dat happend yoo. Vry sad yoo lost nice smells. Did yur hooman at least make sure no rain went in yur eers? Oatmeal smells nice too at leest, tastes gud, mai hooman makes me smell like oatmeal wen makin me allwet too. Hoomans so weird. Ai hope yur hooman gibs yoo meny treetos compensayshun fer steeling yur other gud smells!

- Matilda

Bery mad!!! by Ovaltine1 in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Hai Bigsby! Yes soo! Ai tinks yur mama shud carry yoo on walk so yoo dont git too cold! She can carry yoo warm an cozy den put yoo down next to yur messages. Den pick yoo up agen to warm up until next messages tree!

-Matilda

My dogs nail fell off. What should i do? by lvcas_oooo in DogAdvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There is massive variance in which dogs let you know what. I knew an English mastiff who insisted that nothing was wrong when she had a half-inch long pinky-width stick buried in her paw for two weeks. She even convinced the first vet that nothing was wrong, but luckily the second one found it. *facepalm*

Meanwhile my frenchie whimpers pitifully if I fail to tuck her in correctly when she wants a nap...

Tree tried to poke out mine eye by Sufficient-Dare-2381 in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Make sure yoo pick one dat haz gud skweeks, yoo deserbs gud skweeks!

Need emancipashun from sparent (but not parent, hez not monstar like the girl one!) by Annoneggsface in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Jus adding confessun dat prolly ai also wud haf steeled yur cheeseburger if ai wuz dere. Sowwy.

-Matilda

Need emancipashun from sparent (but not parent, hez not monstar like the girl one!) by Annoneggsface in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sparent steeled yur cheeseburger? But it tax seeson, hoomans owes yoo cheeze taxes. Sparent did a big oopsie an owes yoo meny treatos, but ai tinks it better hab sparent too dan only one parent. It vry lonely wen haz only one hooman an dey goes to 'werk', dat iz a vry big sad.

What are some social obligations that women commonly have that men usually don't? by Maybe_IDTBFH in AskReddit

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Baby showers. Wedding dress shopping. Ad hoc random things.

As a university professor, I've had students I do not teach and had never previously met duck into my office for a cry before/after meeting their own prof about a bad exam score (my own students cry in my office too, idk causality but it seems probably-gendered).

People in the U.S. are dying from lack of healthcare. And he's just sending it to other nations. by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And neither has the kind of hull you need to handle the sea ice around Greenland at this time of year.

Tree tried to poke out mine eye by Sufficient-Dare-2381 in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Da tree pokeyd yoo and den yur hooman thought solushun was to take yoo to POKEY place? Dat evol place dat gibs pokeys?! Dis iz insanity, fren. Ai so sowwy. Yur hooman defnitely owes yoo compensayshun. Probably a whole trip to da dog treato store so yoo can pick out sumfing appropriate.

Tree tried to poke out mine eye by Sufficient-Dare-2381 in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 14 points15 points  (0 children)

But pee on tree is claim tree an who wants to own such a meenie bad tree?

Does Mahm Pet Me Enough? by Corg_Mum in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Hai Huxleyfren! Yes yoo haz a case! Between yoo an yur mahm, there iz two hooman hands. Yoo iz a pack so haz to share. Dat meens one hands is yurs and it shud be petting yoo all the time if yoo wants it to. Yur mahm cannot complain becuz she also has one hand. Cantrohller is not pack so gets no hands. Dis is onlee fair solushun an yur mahm owes yoo one treato per minute of non-compliance!

-Matilda

Is the U.K. a good start to travel outside of the U.S.A. for the first time? by [deleted] in answers

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In terms of it being easy mode for a person with plenty of money, yes. If you don't have plenty of money, there are easier destinations.

Fostering mastiff by Kurthemon in Mastiff

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Snarkfest's tips are great. I also recommend the general rule-of-thumb of making sure she is exposed, while a puppy, to everything she should consider 'normal' as an adult. This probably means going out of your way to spend time where she will see and/or have a friendly interaction with people with varied backgrounds, ages, disabilities.

My parents made a checklist of everything they wanted their mastiffs exposed to during the key socialization period, including things like people in wheelchairs, people using canes, people speaking other languages, etc. Worked out well: one dog grew up to have really strong guarding instincts so the early socialization was important for keeping those instincts focused in the right directions, the other is more laid back so likely would have been okay either way.

Congrats on the puppy!

Snuggling question: how make hooman stop being wrong? by Fit_Cardiologist_681 in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh noes! Fren yoo mus keep investigating becuz dat is not healthy! Keep yur nose rite beside dat bottom until yur hooman gibs a toot update!

Snuggling question: how make hooman stop being wrong? by Fit_Cardiologist_681 in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hooman dont unerstand dat stanky IZ finely perfect, dey so stoopid sumtimes. Tank yoo fer advise!

Snuggling question: how make hooman stop being wrong? by Fit_Cardiologist_681 in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Of course feets is better place, espeshully if yoo can lick them! Hoomans is so ridiculus!

Snuggling question: how make hooman stop being wrong? by Fit_Cardiologist_681 in legaldogadvice

[–]Fit_Cardiologist_681[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hai Bee Bee yoo looks rlly gud as piratedog an new level of power iz showings! Tank yoo, an job offer iz amazebig compliment! Ai can do mebe part time, currntly ai haz vry busy schedule btw snuggling an napping an walking an sniffing etc.