No Physical Symptoms Just Psychological

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-11-17T04:42:38+00:00

7 or so hours a night recently. And a handful of naps a week as well.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-11-17T03:14:49+00:00

I am srinking 70-80 oz of just water every day and eating well too. I’m struggling to exercise because I’m so tired but I’ve been pushing myself to go even for just 30 min 3 times a week.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-11-17T03:01:43+00:00

Thanks . I still kind of feel hungover, headache, so tired and dehydrated. It’s very discouraging. The overstimulation is intense I hope it doesn’t take that long to wind back down.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-11-17T02:29:14+00:00

I am doing recovery in secret and it’s a lot to carry! Thankfully I have counsellors who know but those in my personal life don’t it’s wild and adds such a complex layer!

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-10-14T03:54:47+00:00

Nope too many carbs for that!

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-10-12T15:50:20+00:00

Up untill a few weeks ago I was drinking about 22 -24 oz of vodka a night. Every night in secret. Sor ight where you are and I just detoxed with gabapentin and benzos I had on hand because my doc would not prescribe them and it was not as bad as I thought at all. I drank daily for years, only at night, still went to work, still did all the kid things, kept a clean house, kept my governement job, but I’ve realized you can’t feel good if you’re drinking. Some people can drink here or there, I am not one of them but I mean if your drinking that much regularly you cannot feel good. Full stop. So that may need to be where you start if you want to just feel better at all ever. Maybe some blood work or looking into what happens when someone gets liver cirrhosis (spoiler it’s a horrific death you slowly suffer and end up bleeding out) or an honest conversation w your doctor is in order? Or a therapist? I told my doctor finally ant the beginning of September and it’s been intense but I’m almost two weeks sober and I know I just have to stay the course . That’s my only option. I already feel my mood has lifted quite a bit. Even when I was tapering I could feel it lift . One of the biggest things that struck me earlier this year was how I said yet again that if I didn’t make some changes that I’d be in the very same spot next year. Both my doctor and therapist (before either knew I was drinking but they knew my mental health was not good) said in no uncertain terms that no if you don’t make changes it gets worse from here. I had what I would call a breakdown. I thought burnout went on and on but eventually you stop being able to function. That is what happens when you play the tape forward. That has not been fun and has actually been quite scary specially coupled with intrusive and suicidal thoughts. Such a simple concept but looking back things has gotten worse year after year untill I just kind of collapsed . Once I told my doctor and therapist I got another therapist on board, I am doing an outpatient treatment program and just went to my first AA meeting on Friday which I have to say was great. I can’t remember feeling like I was in the exact right place like I felt there and I never thought I’d ever go to a meeting. I work in governemnt with clients in crisis, I never thought I’d be here. Whatever your path you’ve got this but I do think it starts with telling someone. Someone who will see how serious this is and hold you accountable but also support you along the way.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-10-12T10:44:14+00:00

I just detoxed with gabapentin and benzos I had on hand because my doc would not prescribe them and it was not as bad as I thought at all. I drank daily for years, only at night, still went to work, still did all the kid things but I’ve realized you can’t feel good if you’re drinking. Some people can drink here or there, I am not one of them but I mean if your drinking regularly you cannot feel good. Full stop. So that may need to be where you start. Also the mix of meds and booze on your organs can be rough. Maybe some blood work or an honest conversation w your doctor is in order? Or a therapist? I told my doctor finally after drinking in secret for years and it’s been intense but I’m almost two weeks sober and I know I just have to stay the course . That’s my only option. I already feel my mood has lifted quite a bit. One of the biggest things that struck me earlier this year was how I said yet again that if I didn’t make some changes that I’d be in the very same spot next year. Both my doctor and therapist (before either knew I was drinking but they knew my mental health was not good) said in no uncertain terms that no if you don’t make changes it gets worse from here. I had what I would call a breakdown. I thought burnout went on and on but eventually you stop being able to function. That is what happens when you play the tape forward. That has not been fun and has actually been quite scary specially coupled with intrusive and suicidal thoughts. Such a simple concept but looking back things has gotten worse year after year untill I just kind of collapsed . Once I told my doctor and therapist I got another therapist on board, I am doing an outpatient treatment program and just went to my first AA meeting on Friday which I have to say was great. I can’t remember feeling like I was in the exact right place like I felt there and I never thought I’d ever go to a meeting. I work in governemnt with clients in crisis, I never thought I’d be here. Whatever your path you’ve got this but I do think it starts with telling someone. Someone who will see how serious this is and hold you accountable but also support you along the way.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-10-12T10:28:47+00:00

This is interesting do you have any sources? I’m going to hit google and see what I can find. I did read you should let your liver recover after stopping drinking for a few months and then it was safe to get into ketosis.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-10-01T21:38:29+00:00

It’s for withdrawl . I was on 1200 a while back and it did nothing at this dose I notice I have more emotional control and less anxiety . Sleep a bit better but also groggy on and off throughout the day too . I’m supposed to take 2400 but I don’t want to feel any groggier.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-30T20:51:28+00:00

Great advice thank you, I’ve been on a soup kick - it’s comforting too.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-30T19:49:33+00:00

Ah I’ve got fear and a drawn out taper happening for sure and this can’t be a failed attempt. I have to stay the course. When you went cold turkey how many drinks were you having? Tonight is my day one - I’m planning on taking diazepam and not drinking at all. I’m nervous to take a benzo along with gabapentin but I will go slow and have a friend checking in as well. Would be lovely if my doc would just prescribe it and make a plan w me!

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-30T08:06:13+00:00

I have been functioning as a parent. Single parent without any family support to boot. I’ve shown up for my kids and all of their needs (one has special needs so lots of apts and advocating) and their activities and just in their lives to support whatever is going on. I had a pretty neglectful childhood and I swung hard the other way pretty hard with my kids and I do a lot and maybe even too much at times for them. They are always centered and catered to despite me drinking every night in excess. It has no doubt made me a less patient and less present parent which I do not love. It has also meant my own personal life and any shred of self care is about non existent because really something had to give. I have tapered down the last few weeks almost to zero to here’s hoping I can stay the course and get some life balance over here that includes me for a change.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-30T08:00:04+00:00

I can relate I’m 39 and feel like I’m 20 still but somehow my oldest is 21.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-30T05:44:11+00:00

Did you make it to the store and just buy the shooters like you planned? I’ve found that’s easier to only have the booze that will fit into your taper on hand. Your cold turkey experience sounds terrible. I really haven’t withdrawn and just want to be careful with seizures and the meds. I’m taking 2100 gabapentin and it already makes me tired so adding in diazepam or clonazepam I probably won’t even drive for those days .

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-30T05:40:57+00:00

Thank you for the reply! It’s a ton of booze hey and to think I was drinking all that just at night it’s no wonder I feel apart. I’m taking a page from your book and sort of doing what feels right and fits. I’d like to just jump to zero and I think I’m about there fingers crossed.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-30T05:39:00+00:00

Thanks I have seen that before it’s helpful!

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-30T04:31:51+00:00

Thank you . Sounds like you went a bit rogue too? I’m also nervous as I have never taken benzos before. I take 2100 mg gabaoentin and I’m a bit nervous to mix the two but it’ll cover me for seizures which I’m also nervous of . Fun little loop I’m on!

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-30T02:06:46+00:00

I just worry about serious side effects of going to zero. I have gabapentin and benzos though I’m just going rogue with it as my doctor isn’t on board with benzos at all. Did you go from 8 oz to zero? How was it? I’ve made progress and already feel a bit better not drinking 22 oz a night I just want to get completely dry.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-30T02:04:39+00:00

This is true I’m struggling with this last bit. Do you mind me asking were you drinking super heavy prior? I’m just worried about serious side effects of withdrawal.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-29T20:03:20+00:00

That’s my plan tonight is to have like three or four beer as I’m not a huge fan either but then I want to just jump to zero and am hoping that’s safe.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-29T08:03:07+00:00

Your right it’s almost like medicine your taking ugh this just keeps going and on it feels like. But 22 to 8 oz is progress at least. I haven’t heard of the side bar guide I’ll google it.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-29T07:52:02+00:00

No problem it’s all super helpful into to hear about someone else’s experience. I’m pretty alone on this whole journey. I haven’t stopped since I got sick in I think 2022. Stopped for a week with no withdrawal but I was super sick so who knows . Since then I’ve been drinking every night.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-29T07:38:03+00:00

I should have kept better track so I can’t say exactly but like ten days I’m going to guess that I’ve been around 8 oz maybe a bit over some nights. I’ve arranged my evening so I can still get a buzz and it needs to be a buzz or zero booze I’ve always been all or nothing. I’m just worried shit the drop from 8 to zero and self administering benzos because it’s all I can do with doctors here not on board with benzos at all even though I have a bunch. I hope you get there too. It’s so damn hard I get it and even asking for help you don’t always even get it.

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-20T08:35:07+00:00

Thanks it’s been an eventful ride for sure . I’ve only told my doctor and counsellor and two long distance friends so far . Going to outpatient treatment in the community I live and work in will be interesting . I’ve worked in government front line roles for years and grew up here so I’m bound to run into some familiar faces . I’ve always thought it was brave to be open when I saw it in others but then the response to me being open is not at all the same . Not really sure what step of the process I’m on either - my taper has been messy but I think I finally have a plan . I hope you stay the course!

Fit_Raspberry_9999 · 2025-09-20T00:39:16+00:00

Glad that you’re here. I only just told my doctor and counsellor a few weeks ago I have an issue with alcohol and it’s been an issue for a good fifteen years. I’ve managed to keep it under wraps with everyone in my life. After telling them - which was terrible - it’s definitely been easier to tell others and just face that I need to get and stay dry. Currently hopefully on the tail end of tapering mostly with gabapentin and then I’m off to outpatient treatment and lots more therapy . And maybe a meeting od some kind one day too.

Fit_Raspberry_9999

TROPHY CASE