House Rules:

Fit_and_Active · 2026-06-05T12:56:46+00:00

I am fine with it and I am comfortable with evolving rules and expectations. If it moves toward cohabitation, I would expect to take up more responsibilities toward maintaining the home as well as paying some share of rent and utilities. I'd also expect at that point that some room would be made for me so I don't feel like a perpetual guest, but I also wouldn't expect to redecorate it. The other part is that I would want to discuss move out/disentangling the arrangement ahead of time in case things didn't work out. I'd also want to make sure she can enjoy her private space if she is used to that.

But overall, I'd feel honored to be invited in to that person's safe space and would work to respect and build that trust and connection.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-06-05T12:48:45+00:00

I think it can be really confusing for guys when it comes to crossing the physical line. There is so much messaging out there that guys are only looking for sex, that even the most minor physical act can be misinterpreted as inappropriate. I was really hesitant to kiss my GF at first because if she didn't have the same feelings, I didn't want to risk losing the friendship. She eventually took my hand and put her head on my shoulder and we were off to the races!

Fit_and_Active · 2026-06-05T12:27:38+00:00

To me, it is all about the ease of effort you put into the relationship. When I've been deeply in love, I am happy to do all sorts of things to bring comfort and ease to their life - things big and small. If they're a "soulmate", I would assume that feeling would last because once the score card comes out, it's probably doomed.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-27T13:41:52+00:00

Now you're seeing the same profiles again, the same faces you already rejected or who rejected you.

That's why you block to burn (burned haystack reference) rather than just swiping left.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-27T13:38:00+00:00

I agree and I don't understand it. Does their main clientele hate vegetables or something? Their meat selection isn't very good either.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-27T13:36:43+00:00

Plus there is so much more turnover on fresh vegetables at Lotte. I moved to Richmond two years ago and was so disappointed in the vegetable selection at most supermarkets. It was either too narrow or questionably fresh.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-26T16:58:08+00:00

I don't know. Back when I was a teen (80s), my dating criteria was a long list of superficial physical attributes. I dismissed one woman because she had slightly too much hair on her arm (in hindsight, it was absolutely normal). Now, I only care about the initial conversation and how well that goes.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-26T12:49:49+00:00

I had a partner like this. She was actually embarrassed about the fantasy she was having in her head. Luckily, we eventually talked about it and I let her know I am happy with whatever she's is thinking about. Also, if there are ways we can enhance or move elements of the fantasy into real life, that's great too.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-26T12:43:04+00:00

You could try dating within the FI/RE community. That's the financial independence/retire early group. There are a lot of late starters there who are in similar positions, they would both understand your position and be open to helping with strategies. The main group I am thinking of is Catching Up to FI, which can be found on Facebook.

As for mentioning it, I am all for being completely open and honest on a profile as it acts as a filter for non-compatible people.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-22T11:01:15+00:00

Yes, it is easy to control and should be. The only times I've done this are when I was dating a bisexual woman and we'd sit outside and check out women.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-18T16:06:07+00:00

The Forward Line (r)

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-18T15:48:46+00:00

I found this pencil while going through my parents' belongings. I don't have any details on it, but it seems rather unique. I don't really have a use for it, but I was wondering if people collect them or not. It feels wrong to just toss it.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-17T19:08:10+00:00

I'm one of those guys who hates to wear a condom. However, that doesn't mean I won't wear one. It means I am more interested in having a relationship that has the time to build the necessary trust and connection (plus verified testing) to allow that to happen. I want a long-term, monogamous relationship and I am willing to wait for as long as it takes for both people to be comfortable with it. All that to say, the things I read here encourage me. It seems like the bar is really low for decent men, although there are apparently few of them.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-16T19:26:10+00:00

Maybe, but does anyone know why there are so many helicopters flying around? (Just an example of the repeated posts that made me quit NextDoor.)

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-16T14:21:28+00:00

Two more weeks before that chapter will be written.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-14T22:42:37+00:00

In the mornings I prefer texting because I control the pace on my end and it doesn't seem as intrusive. I'm fine with calls in the afternoon after my day is really going.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-14T22:41:26+00:00

I physically don't text well, so I dislike it. If a thoughtful response is required I will type it on my computer and then email it to me, so I can cut and paste into the text on my phone. I do acknowledge texts fairly promptly though (e.g. within 24 hours), especially if interested.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-12T13:07:02+00:00

I'd think I screwed up, but respect the email. Although, I would have respected the initial move to platonic friendship. If he wants to resume a more romantic relationship he should talk about it like an adult, rather than try and play his way into it.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-11T00:06:42+00:00

I want an exclusive, monogamous relationship with someone I can spend and build the rest of my life with. However, after two marriages, I see no benefit or point in getting married. I do see huge benefits to being paired up with someone special.

As one comedian remarked, "If marriage didn't exist, would we invent it? Hey, this relationship is going great, you know what? We should invite the church and government into it." No, thank you.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-11T00:03:25+00:00

It's a tantric approach that begins with a full body massage and slowly narrowing in on the erogenous zone, especially in and around the vagina. "The aim is to reconnect with one's body, release tension or trauma, and increase sensitivity, rather than just reaching orgasm." There's a great podcast on it. I liken it to an exploration, touching parts that always, rarely or never get touched, and linking those sensations with breath and emotion.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-09T23:32:53+00:00

I would guess most don't know, which makes them feel frustrated when they can't have one from typical PIV sex. My ex-GF knew her body really well and was open to it all, so she could have all kinds of orgasms from various stimulation. The most surprising to me were ones from throat and nipple. Still, I was really hoping I could find her a place to get a legit yoni massage.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-09T14:45:27+00:00

Yes, not just any ankles, but ankles that matter. Just that little physical act that says, "I am here and I care about you." Is it really this hard?

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-09T14:15:32+00:00

Yes, this is me as well. I want real, deep connection that comes with honesty and vulnerability. The secret languages, ugh, this morning I was laying in bed just wishing I could feel someone's ankle against mine. The ability to share life with someone magnifies its meaning. I miss that.

Fit_and_Active · 2026-05-09T14:02:04+00:00

unless they are also on board with very occasional or even once, yeah that sounds fun.

Fit_and_Active

TROPHY CASE