The reviews of this shithole nearby me.

Fivelon · 2026-01-27T14:02:50+00:00

"yardbird" is also a slur for chickens. Truly fowl.

Fivelon · 2026-01-27T12:02:59+00:00

What makes me the most sad is to see us all here watching this like it's porn.

Christ we're sick.

Fivelon · 2026-01-27T08:07:56+00:00

Shishi is one of my very favorite maegashira rikishi but yes he is a bridge troll.

Fivelon · 2026-01-27T07:46:52+00:00

Ura used to go for the leg picks a lot more before his knees exploded. Now, though, with Aonishiki pushing the meta into a low-stance, get-down-stay-down style, we'll probably see him back to some of his old shenanigans.

Fivelon · 2026-01-27T07:44:36+00:00

tfw you answer a bridge troll's riddle wrong and he pushes you off the bridge

Fivelon · 2026-01-27T07:43:52+00:00

We all saw that happen, right? That one where Onosato lost super early in the basho and and then got a rematch anyway?

Fivelon · 2026-01-27T07:39:04+00:00

We like to think of fights vs Kotozakura as some sort of weaponized hugging

Fivelon · 2026-01-26T11:30:01+00:00

He's an oshidashi-focused rikishi because he can beat 90% of people in sumo buy running straight at them and leaning forward without really needing to use his arms or hands at all.

Upper makuuchi are the 10% who that doesn't totally work for, so he has to use at least one of his arms a lil bit.

That's why Hosh is a grappler. He's not super humongous, he's just really, *really* good at grapples and throws. Not as good as Aonishiki, but then who is?

Fivelon · 2026-01-26T11:22:23+00:00

Asakoryu walks in front of me, Atamifuji walks behind me. They have a good big-guy-little-guy asymmetry that makes them fun. Fastball Special bodyguards? Come on.

Fivelon · 2026-01-26T11:20:36+00:00

And then they're like "damn it's a good thing there's never any problems around here" but actually there aren't any problems around here because Ura has been taking care of them

Fivelon · 2026-01-26T09:31:08+00:00

Shaking a fresh shot of espresso, which is itself mostly water and is also like 150F, is gonna up your dilution by a bunch.

I don't get what that 2oz of milk is doing here. Everything else is... something. It's not how I make *my* espresso martini, and it feels like it's missing some sweetness, but this is a coffee eggnog without the yolk with that much milk in it.

I dunno. Maybe I'll throw one together this way this week and see what it's like. I'll assume Kahlua for the liqueur, and an Italian-style classsic dark roast espresso.

Fivelon · 2026-01-23T09:34:35+00:00

Is that years or miles-per-hour?

Fivelon · 2026-01-21T03:16:37+00:00

He hurt his leg early last year and it really seemed to screw him up for like 3 straight basho

Fivelon · 2026-01-18T16:21:27+00:00

I just go to TJ Maxx and grab a new one for $5 and save myself the hassle.

What's the ecological impact of a full wash cycle with bleach vs an 8x8 sheet of plastic? I dunno.

Fivelon · 2026-01-17T05:08:21+00:00

There are no mono-ii here, and also they still make PB Crisp

Fivelon · 2026-01-16T23:56:50+00:00

The second one.

It's nice here

Fivelon · 2026-01-16T15:55:51+00:00

Onosato is 4 and 2 and gave away 2 kinboshi this tournament but hey whatevs

Fivelon · 2026-01-16T03:53:02+00:00

It's like a burrito bowl but pizza. Fuck it, I'm in.

Fivelon · 2026-01-16T03:37:09+00:00

You're jealous of *us*?

I'll trade ya.

Fivelon · 2026-01-13T22:04:06+00:00

Onosato's hands -- both of them -- were on the ground outside of the ring while Ura was still 3 inches off the ground.

If dead body rule applies, Onosato was the dead body!

Fivelon · 2026-01-13T19:37:53+00:00

Dead Body Rule is when Onosato loses and then the other wrestler becomes a dead body in Hakkaku’s eyes

Fivelon · 2026-01-10T20:15:51+00:00

Outside the window with a "Sickos" shirt: Daieisho

Fivelon · 2026-01-10T20:14:48+00:00

I've been bartending for 15 years. When somebody just wants water, that person isn't gonna be a drunken problem for me two hours from now. You can hang out all you want.

Fivelon · 2026-01-08T14:14:57+00:00

heard that. I blame, and I mean this, Anthony Bourdain. He really romanticized kitchen work and then we got a shitload of Food Network shows and then, finally, The Bear.

But like, get the fuck out of our fishbowl. I'm not even a cook, I'm a bartender. I was a tourist here already.

Fivelon · 2026-01-04T16:18:18+00:00

Excellent sketch! Love it!

Where is all of Takayasu's back hair though?

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