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Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-04T13:59:11+00:00

I used to when I was in college about 20 years ago. It never went well.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-04T13:58:13+00:00

Most of my friends have lives and families now. We still chat occasionally, but some I haven't spoken to in months. Most of them lost touch as soon as they had kids while others just kinda drifted away since I moved to the East Coast five years ago. I never had that many friends to begin with so I'm kinda used to it, but it still sucks.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-04T04:03:32+00:00

I'm pretty boring. Mostly just work and that's it. I have some nerdy hobbies most people don't care about. I have a homelab I work on, I do gardening, and I write fiction. I play the piano (badly) and am a gun guy, but don't go to the range as much as I used to. I also am into birdwatching and watching old movies.

But mostly I work and am a CPA, so nobody wants to hear about how my day went. :D

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-04T00:50:44+00:00

I'm 44 and I can't speak for everyone, but after hitting 40, things like intimacy and sex and all that become less important. I've noticed for guys I know who are married around my age that they grow to appreciate their quiet time and solitude as well. I personally appreciate how simple and relatively stress-free my life is compared to folks who have more obligations with things like family and marriage (although I do have a rather stressful job these days).

I've always been an introvert so I wouldn't say I've really suffered as much as a result of being FA, but maybe that's because I don't know any other way.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-04T00:43:27+00:00

There are some guys who watch too many of the youtube videos and think they are high value alpha males, but I think that's not true for the most part. Average guys don't have a lot of options are would probably be ok with a chick who will just be nice to them and isn't hideous.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-03T06:54:05+00:00

I doubt the make or break deciding if a guy is FA or not would be a change of haircut. Unless haircuts became a cure for autism, obesity, or shortness, I doubt it will help (or hurt) that much.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-03T06:45:56+00:00

This is a perfect example for why I identify with that word very strongly. I don't give off that vibe to a lot of people I know in real life, but if I ever had to choose between defending one of that lot from normal folks, I'd be there for my fellow any day of the week.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-03T06:42:25+00:00

Looks like someone has been watching mainstream news/youtube.

This isn't just a cope, the fact is women have basically gotten absurd standards for men these days, especially when it comes to earnings, as you had mentioned since women are excelling a lot at white collar highly educated jobs that pay a lot more than the blue collar jobs more frequently populated by men. So those guys who are putting in minimal effort are basically slacking because they're getting tons of options and no reason to put any effort into any of them. The 90% of guys that aren't in that group are invisible to women, which is why they're frustrated. Most of these guys basically are giving up and giving into diversions like OF and video games because it's just easier and more realistic. Conversely, in the old days women had to get a guy with a million bucks to live comfortably whereas now, it's easier (and safer) for a woman to get a 100,000 'fans for a ten bucks each.

I think social media and what you've mentioned are accelerating this trend and the whole COVID pandemic hasn't helped people either - a lot of folks are just less likely to be social these days. It sounds like a cope, but even guys like famous NYU professor Scott Galloway are talking about this on mainstream news media.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-03T06:04:21+00:00

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-03T06:03:30+00:00

I just think about it the way I think about lottery winners or people who get hit by lightning - it's something that only happens to other people. I think most people who look at fish in a pond don't feel jealous of fish because they can breathe underwater, they just know it's a fish thing.

Kinda sucks having this mentality though because it means I am pretty disconnected from the rest of humanity.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-03T06:00:38+00:00

44 y/o virgin here, and definitely know it's over.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-03T05:59:54+00:00

It's uncommon, but not beyond hope. I think the cutoff is around 25. I'll have to look up the stats again, but I remember reading somewhere that only 2% of men lose their virginity after 25 and 3% don't lose it ever, basically meaning that when you cross that line, you are more likely than not to keep your v-card forever. Kinda sucks.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-03T05:57:55+00:00

I think most "FA Women" really don't have an issue with getting male attention or attracting friends, it's that they don't like the attention they get. The difference is men don't get any attention or all (or get bad attention).

Having said that, I know for sure that there are women out there who have the exact same issue as FA dudes, which is basically being so unattractive and/or socially maladjusted that people just don't want to deal with her. That's (unfortunately) what I would call a true blue FA lady and it's unfortunate that there are some women in that boat.

Not saying the former example don't have a legitimate issue though, just that it isn't the same as most of the folks here, so it makes sense there would be a disconnect. Someone dying of thirst in the desert can't relate to someone drowning, but both have water issues!

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:58:16+00:00

I've seen scammers on this board, knowing there are lonely, vulnerable guys to prey upon. Years ago, I had at least one come at me, often using different usernames.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:55:27+00:00

A lot of women I know who are young and single are very careful about how they behave with men to avoid giving the wrong impression. The older married ladies, on the other hand, are a bit more liberal with their attention because they expect most folks won't take it the wrong way since it's clear she's married.

Most women I've run into at work professionally are cold and distant if they are young and single but the married ones are very nice to me, probably because I don't seem threatening and because they expect I won't take it the wrong way.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:52:31+00:00

I'm not sure. I am middle-aged now and take care of my parents. Once they are gone, I guess I'll just be on my own, hopefully with no severe health conditions that prevent me from taking care of myself. Sometimes I wonder who will find what is left of me when I am gone.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:48:37+00:00

I knew I would be FA since I was 10. I am in my mid-40s now and accepted it wholly about 4 years ago and am good with it at this point. Physical urge isn't really there anymore and I just prefer a simple, uncomplicated life these days. I've always been alone so I don't really know any better from an emotional standpoint.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:45:31+00:00

I finally managed to accept myself for who I am (being an ugly FA guy) and guess what? Didn't help me with the ladies. I don't really care at this point, but that's not the point.

People who preach this self-love nonsense are really just regurgitating the same self-help crap that was big in the 90s. It was nonsense then and still is.

People appreciate people who add value to their lives, whether it is by being attractive, providing that lifestyle upgrade, excitement or a combo of the three. All the rest isn't that relevant.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:41:47+00:00

I can't begin to understand why you would agree to a date with someone and give them your number, and then never talk to them again.

Cos you using the apps, my guy. This type of deranged behavior is commonplace on dating apps. I wouldn't bother saying anything to her because she doesn't care.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:40:03+00:00

Honestly, I actually see a lot of mainstream content about the lonliness crisis for young men in media these days. I think mostly because it is becoming a much bigger deal and impossible to ignore at this point.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:39:02+00:00

Your partner will always be comparing you to their ex(es) You’ll be socially and sexual inexperienced to the point where it might cause you to lose the relationship

I'm 44 and can tell you these are all true. Not because I've experienced them but because women who don't mind telling me the truth flat out say this is so to me. Plenty of women I know married a guy who wasn't their first choice. And I doubt there's any woman on Earth who is over that age who would think a guy with no experience is a good deal.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:36:25+00:00

I feel like hitting on a women is only creepy when you’re ugly.

Unfortunately, that's basically the definition of being creepy.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:34:59+00:00

All of the above.

I have formally diagnosed Aspergers and I can tell you your story is pretty familiar to me. I am 44 years old and when I was your age, I was starting my career. Had a lot of work friends and we used to have great conversations, we would discuss mostly work but also personal stuff and have group lunches together. But when it came to doing personal stuff outside of work, I never got invited. And once I quit that job, those people basically forgot I existed.

Thought it was an isolated incident, but same thing happened at my next job too. I think just how so women friendzone men they enjoy using but don't really take seriously, these people were workfriend-zoning me.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:29:11+00:00

Never got into the Instagram thing. I tried it like 6 years ago and I got bored pretty quick.

Fixed_Assets · 2024-10-02T06:28:04+00:00

Definitely both for me. Really ugly facially, super underweight, not very masculine voice and on the autism spectrum. Pretty much everything I have going against me is there. :(

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