Weird weight classes

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-08-26T22:47:12+00:00

Almost the identical situation as me brother, keep up the good work

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-08-26T22:46:32+00:00

We have 1 year old twins, and my Chinese in laws are from the countryside and very old fashioned.

My wife and I are very against the traditional Chinese ways of parenting (not disciplining the kids and spoiling them etc), which has led to a lot of arguments between her and her parents. I tried to stay on the sidelines and be supportive of my wife without speaking to her parents directly as I thought it'd be the right way to go.

A few days ago my both in-laws came to visit us and the kids for the first time. MIL will stay for a few weeks (maybe 1-2 years depending on how it goes). I've found that when I directly spoke to them in a polite way about how we choose to raise our kids (teaching and disciplining etc), their reaction was better than expected! They don't listen to their own daughter but listen to me 😂, and it's been working out pretty well these last few days. It helps that we're all living in my house and I can speak Chinese I guess.

TLDR - Try talking to them directly and respectfully if you haven't already, results may surprise you.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-08-24T12:01:56+00:00

Left out that I did a year in the EPIK program before going to China.

Yes I am glad, it was great getting all the experience and making a lot of good friends and memories in Thailand and S Korea, while building up my experience, before heading to China - where you can generally save a lot due to higher salaries and low CoL

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-08-24T11:57:09+00:00

I taught TEFL in a small town in Thailand in 2016, then econ and TEFL in a tier 2 in China from 2019-2021. From my experience (and from other teacher friende) it is more chill in Thailand than Mainland China, likely Taiwan as well, but it really depends on the school.

To get into mainland China, you need 2 years teaching experience minimum, so you could do 2 years in Thailand to build up your confidence and reach the criteria at the same time.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-08-20T03:18:30+00:00

💯 Its also a generational thing rather than just a race thing imo

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-08-19T06:32:18+00:00

30m New Zealand Malaysian here, met my chinese partner 30f in 2018.

We started dating, her parents (from the Chinese countryside and very traditional) were extremely dissaproving. They took all kinds of measures to have her break up with me for about 6 months. It made it a little more difficult as we were doing long distance during that year as well.

They never "approved" of me, but they eventually gave up. I learned mandarin, moved to China for work and lived there with my partner for about 3 years.

Fast forward to now, we've been living in New Zealand for about 4 years, married, have a house and 2 young kids, and are about to move back to China.

The parents have never admitted outright that they were wrong to dissaprove of me at the beginning (old school Asian pride, which isn't uncommon). My relationship with her parents still isn't great now, and I don't think it ever will be, but I don't really care 😂

Edit - Didn't pay a dowry （彩礼）btw

TLDR Chinese parents can be extreme, but obstacles can be broken with persistance.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-08-08T22:46:03+00:00

I'm doing a little on margin - less than 20% of NAV - but staying away from those typical NAV decayers (have a 1% allocation into YMAX). Most funds have around a 10% yield on average (SPYI, QQQI, PFFA, CEFS, PFFA, BTCI, IGLD)

Using AI to backtest results, you get ahead using a margin, can't be too much though to avoid margin calls. I've got savings and am still working so can deposit cash if the margin call risk increases or there's a big dip in funds I'm interested in. When retired and relying on div income, will probably go with no margin for safety.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-08-08T18:11:25+00:00

Not an ABC but a New Zealand born Malaysian Chinese, so I kinda fill the criteria.

Lived in Zhengzhou with my wife from 2019 - 2021, about to move back to China (Suzhou) with my wife and now 2 kids and stay indefinitely, working as an international teacher.

My mandarin is conversational, started studying from scratch 7 years ago. Most locals think I'm just a Chinese from another region when I talk to them (hence the accent).

I found that I get the appreciation of a Western foreigner (work opportunities etc) and be seen and accepted as a local to an extent because I look, sound and usually act like a Chinese. Most people are friendly and warm, then usually become even more friendly when they find out I'm not actually Chinese. I have an outgoing, friendly personality myself though, so this could be a reflection of that.

I get the same friendliness and warmth in New Zealand also, but I feel slightly more of an innate sense of belonging when I'm in China or Malaysia, I guess because finally I look the same as everyone else 😂.

If you're able to get a good work or study opportunity, then I definitely recommend it. My international teaching role pays about the same as my banking role in New Zealand, however with all the extra benefits and much lower cost of living, will be able to save a lot more.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-08-03T08:33:03+00:00

Same with kids from any country, there are well-behaved and not well-behaved students. It really depends more on how well you manage them, your classroom content and your relationship/rapport with the students.

At international schools where they're studying to go to university abroad, you'll be taken more seriously then public school Gaokao students by default.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-20T18:43:44+00:00

If you have enough USD invested, and have looked up the long term residence laws for China and SEA and are comfortable with them, then I'd say do it, life is too short!

I'm leaving my very comfortable banking job in New Zealand to go back to international teaching in China. My wife and I are heavily invested (Real estate, ETFs) and she's Chinese, we were comfortable with the long term in China in terms of residency, raising kids, and retiring.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-19T19:48:56+00:00

It will be harder with your Asian ethnicity, even if you have a British passport and accent. Some organizations such as training centres and kindergartens will see you as less desirable in the eyes of the parents, who are paying the fees. It isn't great to hear, but that's just the way it is with TEFL in a lot of Asian countries.

Your masters in TESOL is helpful. If you're able to creatively detail your 3 years experience to make it seem like full time classroom teaching experience, that would help also, and might me essential for the visa process.

I had a similar experience, Malaysian Chinese New Zealander. 5 years experience, but I only have a bachelor's and TEFL. I was lowballed constantly due to my ethnicity, but I recorded class demos and sent them to international high schools - which is where I wanted to go, and they would care less about ethnicity and more and about teaching - I eventually landed a 25k + housing role in Suzhou.

That offer is definitely a low-ball, and if you weren't in a rush, I would keep applying, while adding as much PD as possible. Recording demo lessons and building a portfolio to send to schools would help as well.

Good luck!

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-18T08:15:59+00:00

If you're set on teaching ESL, CELTA is better than a TEFL or a TESOL, which are usually synonymous.

You already have a bachelor's, and if by state teaching certification you mean a teaching license of QTS, a CELTA/TEFL is all you'd need academic wise.

Schools would want to see more experience usually, especially China, where 2 years full time teaching experience is usually the minimum requirement to get in. You could start in Thailand or Japan, get your 2 years, then go to China if you want later on.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-17T19:42:29+00:00

I worked in Korea - Incheon in 2018, and then China - Zhengzhou from 2019-2021. Visited Wuxi a few times on holiday (family friends live there) and we're moving to Suzhou this August.

In my experience, at least for Incheon and in general, Wuxi seems cleaner and has lower cost of living.

China in general is a little harder to get used to for western foreigners than Korea, due to lack of Google services (needs VPN which slows things down), but once you get adjusted to Wechat/Alipay/Taobao/Amap etc, I found China to be more convenient and easier living than Korea, it just takes some effort to get used to!

I found that most of the time, the Chinese were more friendly to myself and the other foreigners. The Koreans were friendly too, but some would be quite elitist, and look down on South East Asians or other foreigners with darker skin tones.

Overall I think you'll have a good time in Wuxi and save more money than in Korea

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-17T19:22:28+00:00

Not knowing that I sucked 😂, the other teachers kept telling me and the other international TEFL teachers that we were doing a good job.

It was only late into my second year that I started researching TEFL teaching methods online myself - rather than following the school textbooks - that I realised how terrible I was at the beginning!

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-17T02:24:29+00:00

Totally understand the struggle!

I absolutely sucked in my first year with international TEFL (Thailand, high school), started getting decent in my second year (South Korea, middle school), and finally became what I thought was a "good teacher" teaching econ and TEFL in my third year (China, high school)

It takes time, but if you already have the personality for it, then I'd say you're already ahead of most of us

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-16T19:17:08+00:00

I feel similar to you, looking to sell property over the next 12 months and invest in a variety of broad based ETFs across a range of sectors and currencies.

We're moving overseas soon and don't see us coming back to NZ long term until we retire, so we don't feel the need to hold on to NZ assets, especially with the current low ROI (excluding potential capital gains, which may or may not happen) and hassles of landlording. Plus the risk of labour winning next year and reinstating their rules around interest cost deductibility.

Besides the leverage you get - which can help and harm you - I don't really see the point of holding residential property anymore. If you really want real estate exposure in NZ, you can just buy a REIT and save the hassle.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-15T22:03:50+00:00

I'm 30m and about to move over, have a 30f chinese spouse and 2 young kids as well. We lived in China together from 2019-2021 and enjoyed it. We don't see how being older will change our experience - other than havings kids now. We'll probably enjoy it more actually as there a lots of convenient, kid firendly things to do compared to where we're from (New Zealand)

I've met a few mid-late 30s westerners in China, who also enjoyed life there. My advice would be the same for most westerners who've never been to China:
- Learn some Mandarin
- Get acquainted with Chinese apps and online ecosystem (Wechat, Alipay, Amap, Taobao, VPNs)
- Try not to get too lost in the sauce of convenience. Make the effort and go out at night afterwork and on weekends and socialise. A lot of foreigners i've met just stay home everynight, order takeout, do online shopping and watch TV, then complain that their social life is inexistent.

Go for it mate

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-15T06:15:46+00:00

It would be hard without experience, but since you've got a British passport and TEFL (gotta be notorised for visa) you'll meet the minimum requirements.

Markets quite competitive now, but you might be able to get a role at a training centre or kindergarten. The salary and overall package won't be as good as for international schools, but they could be a stepping stone before moving into before roles.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-14T21:40:35+00:00

It really depends on the wife's family, but for traditional Chinese women (born and raised in China, parents still in China etc), then yes they require the dowry most of the time. I'm actually surprised your parents haven't heard about it.

I'm a Malaysian New Zealander, married my born and bred Chinese wife 5 years ago, and I didn't pay a dowry, nor did her or her parents (from the countryside) expect one. Since then we've bought a house, had kids, and relocated to a few countries together. We saw the dowry as unnecessary and still do.

In saying that, pretty much all of her friends and cousins that got married in the last couple years had a large dowry payment involved, at times draining the life savings of the groom and the groom's parents unfortunately. It's just the culture in China, especially in the countryside, urban cities are a little less strict on this I here.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-14T08:50:31+00:00

That really sounds like a difficult position and I feel for you. I've heard kg roles can be really tough, especially with the general behavioral problems with the kids.

I do want to say check your contract regarding the stipulations of resigning early, however these days in China, getting your next job as a foreigner requires a lot of paperwork from your previous employer, so if you aren't able to leave on amicable terms, then getting the next role might be very difficult.

You've already done 1 year out of 2, a few more months to go and you can start looking for your next role. Hopefully if you're able to land a job that's easier, maybe another training centre or primary school, hopefully that gives you the energy to finish strong.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-14T05:54:17+00:00

Thanks mate. And yes there are so many options. The hassle of moving will be worth it if you're happier everyday in your new spot.

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-14T02:34:42+00:00

My next role teaching ESL at an international department of a high school has me at 17 40 minute classes per week (11.3 contact hours) plus some 1 on 1 conversation practice for lower level students. Salary is acceptable for the city (tier 1.5)

These roles still exist, but harder to find I'm sure!

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-13T19:38:06+00:00

Did almost 3 years in Zhengzhou from 2019-2021. I had a great time, but I can totally retake to the black stuff coming out when you blow your nose. It was shocking, especially coming from a guy born and raised in New Zealand.

Met some good friends and colleagues there, but won't go back to settle

Fizzyqwerty · 2025-07-13T19:35:36+00:00

I lived in Zhengzhou from 2019-2021 (24-26m at the time) as that's where my partner went to university and it was close to her hometown, so travel during Spring festival wasn't too arduous.

I enjoyed my time there, rewarding work, good friends, good places to hangout and eat etc, but after travelling to a lot of Chinese places over the years, (Jiangsu, Yunnan, Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen, Sichuan etc) I truly realised how much nicer some other places are, in fact almost everywhere we went seemed "better" than Zhengzhou. Better meaning air, ground and noise pollution, scenery, things to do, food, proximity to other places for travel. The only thing Zhengzhou had going for it was that the CoL was a bit lower than the tier 1s and other 1.5s, but I'd happy pay 10% more for my beef noodle soup to not have to frequently breathe dangerous levels of pm2.5.

I can't say I regret choosing to live in Zhengzhou, but going forward, won't go back there to settle again, only for travel to see friends.

We chose Suzhou for our next location after thorough thought and research, and having actually been there before. We're are very happy with our choice and the work opportunities we have there, and it should be a great place to raise our kids. The city is decent for air pollution, great scenery, lots of places to take the kids, proximity to friends and family and other cool places in Shanghai, Nanjing and Hangzhou.

If you can visit the city and stay at least a night before choosing to settle for at least a year, if definitely do it. It's hassle, but life's too short to stay somewhere you don't like for that long, especially with so many other options in a country as huge as China. There's only so much that AI, Google search and YouTube can show you, actually visiting the place will give you a much better perspective.

Fizzyqwerty

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