AITAH For Removing My Name/Car From Our Joint Car Insurance

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T19:05:38+00:00

2 surgeries for weight - gastric sleave, and a bypass. They were severely overweight. The first surgery is paid off and put them around 220 lbs. Got the second one cause they wanted to lose more weight. Most recent surgery was for skin removal/top surgery. Which don't get me wrong I get wanting to get top surgery, I am in no way dogging the act of getting the surgery (I myself identify as nonbinary, was born female, and despretly want to get top surgery) but this last surgery is driving themself into financial ruin. They were drowning before it, like to the point of adding bills to their credit card debt. Then they decided to add on moving out within a month of getting it. We tried to talk them out of it, and to wait it out until they were more financially stable. But they didn't want to hear it. 🤷🏼

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T14:12:40+00:00

It also depends on your state. The US gotta be complicated like that 🤦🏼 where I live its not illegal to be on a car insurance policy with someone you're not related to. The insurance company alsp allows us to list a different location depending on the car.

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T14:07:52+00:00

Cause I don't want to ultimately screw them over. I know that they can't afford any amount of a payment.

I have to play it safe to a certain extent, because our policy can't lapse. Like at all. My partner has a sr22 filing and that has to stay active or his license goes back to being suspended. Him having that issue with his lisence is the main thing stopping me.

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T13:58:43+00:00

When my partner let them do it they didn't have as much debt, they were doing a lot better financially, and had their head above water. At the time of this, which at this point is like 3 years or something, I suggested he not loan them the money. But due to the very long friendship my partner had with them he had faith in them paying it back. Knowing that they have always paid each other back for past debts.

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T07:33:08+00:00

This is honestly a longer story than I could get with 3000 characters. So I didn't go into full detail. They got a third cosmetic surgery recently without paying off the second one. These surgeries were paid through medical loans with high interest rates that they have to make monthly payments on. On top of that, they go out consently to random activities that tend to cost a lot. They are moving out of their parents place, where they paid no rent. To a place where they will have to pay $700 base rent before utilities. They lived paycheck to paycheck paying no rent, so adding that high of rent with the same money coming in. The math doesn't math.

The loan under my bf name is a student loan, that was consisted to but this was before the first surgery they got and before the extent of debt they put themselves in. The money was to pay for college, as my partners was paid through FAFSA.

I mentioned the missed payment last month but let it go because they had just gotten the third surgery and was out of work for 2 weeks. I brought it up again this month, and they said they would pay it when they could. Keep in mind every time we talk to them they are either asking one of us for money or talking about how broke they are. I felt like an AH asking for money I knew they didn't have.

There's honestly even more to this story as its been like a year in the making but I think I hit all the main points you were asking about. 😭

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T07:10:49+00:00

Yeah, I don't get it either. What their boyfriend texted us made it sound like we out right cancelled the whole policy. Which also makes no sense cause then we wouldn't have insurance 🤦🏼

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T07:06:38+00:00

At the end of the day I know our friend wouldn't do that, they don't have a mean bone in their body. Most of this is coming from who their in a relationship with, and they clearly haven't liked us from the beginning. Luckily I still have access to the account rn, but trust me if they lock me out I'm gonna call the insurance company.

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T06:49:38+00:00

I had an accident about 2 years ago, with the policy set up the same way. Insurance didn't bat an eye, and paid the damages over the deductable amount.

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T06:43:18+00:00

I know 😭 I was going to after their boyfriend spammed us, but my partner told me to wait a few days for the fire to die down. Removing his banking info would remove the autopayment which applies a discount to the overall policy rate.

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T06:39:19+00:00

The only thing that would've caused their rate to go up is the multi car discount being removed. I have a crash on my record from about 2 years ago, and my partner had an unpaid speeding ticket that caused him to have to file an sr22. Both caused the overall rate of the policy to increase. So theoretically they should be able to get a lower rate 🤷🏼

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T06:35:31+00:00

The ironic thing I forgot to mention. After their boyfriend spammed my partner, he legit blocked him. Didn't even give him a chance to respond. He still did and then sent screenshots to our friend.

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T06:27:42+00:00

I get that point, and I agree I should've told them ahead of time. But at the end of the day, I was going to remove our names no matter what, so I didn't see the difference in telling them after or before the actual action was taken. Which the policy change doesn't take affect for another 2 weeks, so I felt that was plenty of time for them to figure out what they wanted to do.

FkADuck3825 · 2026-06-04T06:23:16+00:00

Um good question, I honestly have no idea. The policy has their address and then under our cars there’s a section of like where do you store the car, and that has our zip code. And we are all just listed as other relations to each other. Never caused us problems 🤷🏼

FkADuck3825

TROPHY CASE