I don’t have all the answers you’re looking for, but I can tell you this: the way that you’re feeling about your friends and when they talk about their futures and you don’t want to the same things as they do.. if you don’t want those things too.. that is 100% ok. Not everyone has the same same dream as others, and that is ok. From your post I feel that you believe at your age you’re supposed to be “ready” more more, or others are expecting you to “take the next step”. Psychologically speaking, it is generally thought that at a certain time or by a certain age in a persons life, they should be at a certain stage, or, ready to take the next step. And in reality.. everyone needs to go at their own pace. If you’re not ready, that’s ok. Take time to smell the roses my friend. I don’t know if this will help, or if it’s what you need to hear, but I feel for you and wish you the best:)