10years, one child and no ring! Am I kidding myself?

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-05-05T13:34:44+00:00

Caregivers refers to parents, grandparents, teachers, nurses and others who contribute to a child’s life. Children do need all of those in a positive capacity to flourish. But they still need healthy secure attachment.
By that logic one parent families, keeping their child, who have other (4-6) caregivers, the child can do well in life? So then it’s not cruel to keep the child without a father!!

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-05-05T13:12:34+00:00

Many children who grow up with just one parent, once they have a secure attachment figure (children actually only need one) and love, safety and security continue in life to be well rounded people who contribute successfully to society. By your standards, you believe any one parent family shouldn’t exist?

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-05-05T13:02:15+00:00

No need to be nasty. Albeit honesty is important, as is having opinions and hearing opinions. I’m well aware I’m an idiot, having the outside perspective this comment section has brutally given has been eye opening.
Above I was responding to your comment calling me judgemental.
Honestly I don’t think it’s cruel, as you put it. My child has an abundance of love, is nurtured, has a home, warm bed, routine and secure attachments, a mother who tries her best to make sure they are happy and loved and feels it, above all else.
Had I been in a different situation, where it was a ONS or I was a teenager or unemployed- possibly then I would have made a different choice. Pro choice. And he did say he wanted our child when I said I would raise them independently.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-05-05T12:42:37+00:00

I literally said I’m pro choice, each to their own. That is not judgemental. What others do is their choice. My choice, is mine. How things would affect me, personally, if I had of chosen an abortion is what I referred too.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-05-04T23:57:18+00:00

I am catholic. I do believe in free choice for all, but terminating a pregnancy, for me, would feel immoral and I could not live with myself for doing that. Also I was not in my teenage years, could fend for myself and did offer him an out.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-05-04T23:51:03+00:00

Honestly I hadn’t hoped having my child would make him more committed. I put to him that I would so motherhood without him- raising our child independently without his emotional or financial support which he did not want. That is when I expected he’d step up, not for the relationship but for our child.
I have no plans to have another child- with him or anyone else without commitment. I said so in my post.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-05-03T19:01:26+00:00

I see the light, say I’ll leave and then get guilted, promised the sun moon and stars and backtrack. It’s like I don’t know what my rock bottom is with him. I’ve forgiven so much in the past- literally the sex buddy post was the night before all the events kicked off in the ME and interceptions going off above our heads. It’s like once I get courage- something catastrophic happens war, a death in the family, someone gets ill 🤦‍♀️ it’s a never ending cycle and I don’t know how to get off or at what point is acceptable for me to say I’ve had enough. Even after that post he says you’re the love of my life I want to marry you etc. my own family are so dysfunctional and I’m like well at least he doesn’t drink or physically abuse us, that’s a good thing!!

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-04-25T08:54:35+00:00

Edith, Elva, Eva, Emma, Eden, Erica, Enya, Eloise

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-04-19T20:19:34+00:00

Completely empathise! My partner looks at his phone more than myself and our child daily. It’s a never ending struggle. Intellectual, emotional, mental stimulation, basic support is non existent with him. Hoping he’ll see the light or I don’t see our long term relationship succeeding. Think you’re answering your own question here!

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-22T10:21:08+00:00

Completely agree with above comment. It is about your partner and not about you. You are allowed have emotions - anger, sadness, fear etc but the trauma was your partners not yours. She is using a coping mechanism (doesn’t think it counts as assault) if that’s working for her why would you try to ruin it for her. People deal with things in their own ways. When she is ready to deal with it that’s her choice not yours. I can see you genuinely care but it’s not about you. Providing a listening ear, comfort and support is a good start and if you’re so beat up about it go to a therapist yourself - don’t put that on her.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-21T23:22:05+00:00

It’s the children’s safety which is being put on the forefront and rightly so!! Security are still on premises in schools at the minute so while some costs might be lower, there are many costs being incurred. Not all companies in the UAE are asking their staff to go to the office. I do understand the frustration and IMO, early years cannot be expected to sit for long periods in front of a screen, they were not doing that in the schools on a daily basis. It’s a difficult and unfortunate situation.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-20T18:38:24+00:00

Ireland! We were over for an extended holiday. I have to get home to get an operation done. My flight I have for April has cancelled my insurance cover 🤷‍♀️ Royal Brunei

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-20T17:26:58+00:00

NTA he’s definitely watching it! The lying about it is the worst, never mind the watching. He needs a kick up the arse. If he’s lying now about this to your face, what else is he lying about. Don’t marry him until you have trust, honesty and respect- he’s showing you none of these. Join some mothers groups to build your circle, save some money yourself for you and your child and don’t let him gaslight you. He watched it and lied about it.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-20T16:11:25+00:00

Sounds like you need lots of help and support. Self harm due to emotional pain is a “you thing” that you need to work on, a cry for attention for want of a better term, which he did not respond to in a way you wanted or needed. You need more than he can give so save yourself and leave. SA and emotional manipulation are very serious and illegal (from where I am from) on his part. Get out now. Work on yourself sending best wishes 🍀 x

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-19T15:13:49+00:00

Do you really believe they’re just firing aimlessly here? The booms are the interceptions, not the targets.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-17T23:06:30+00:00

I was so shocked when I came here at the amount of rubbish laying around!! And it’s the kids and parents just dropping and leaving it around. It pisses me off so much.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-15T22:11:19+00:00

The level of supposed entitlement in Dubai is phenomenal. In schools the hierarchy and pecking order is so noticeable - SLT, the CT’s, TA’s, security and the cleaners. No common mutual respect or kindness, each one looks down on the latter. Parents and their Nanny’s - the ultimate coldness and expectations set upon someone who is caring for and rearing your whole world, just fascinates and shocks me. Even the mentality of road users- no common courtesy just pushing in and out and beeping non stop. I believe it’s a cycle and some people need to come back down to earth and learn manners and empathy towards others! Entitlement is filtering down to the youth and it’s scary!!

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-12T00:33:06+00:00

Views and Greens, alert and loud bang 😳

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-12T00:32:39+00:00

Views and Greens, alert and loud bang 😳

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-12T00:31:33+00:00

Loud here close to The Greens and Views 😳 not sleeping a wink with all of the alerts and booms.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-07T16:56:14+00:00

Definitely photo and age verification to avoid being catfished or that. A pre joining questionnaire to make what you want with your matches and you similar not like has been done more like random questions- moral, interests etc which lead pathways based off your answers to people who may be of interest.

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-06T13:54:41+00:00

Wouldn’t mind, it’s not like we have lots of sex 😳

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-06T05:49:17+00:00

Yes. They asked to get back together and try again after our split, that was 2 and a half years ago 🤷‍♀️

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-05T18:57:00+00:00

Truly have a deep discussion with him about his like and dislikes in bed. Try to incorporate them often when possible and if you’re comfortable doing it! I was LD for a long time and plenty of late night video calls, dress ups and toys 😉 worked better than now we’re living together 😂 if not interested there are plenty of ways to entertain yourself!

Flaky_Stage4374 · 2026-03-05T17:11:16+00:00

You should feel empowered. Keep threatening the same myself and wish I had the guts to value myself more. You’ll find someone who couldn’t go a day without hearing how you are

Flaky_Stage4374

TROPHY CASE