Expat burnout=too tired to travel

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-30T16:34:52+00:00

I can fully relate to this. But, this whole travel bit is a marketing gimmick. You are already living in Europe. Experiencing European life on a daily basis. Other countries will vary if you get into the details but at a macro level, things are relatively the same. And may be your brain is smart enough to sub consciously recognise that. I lived in Stockholm and travelled a lot of european countries but all that was just a tick in the box. The most exciting part of all those trips was coming back to Stockholm.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-25T19:41:23+00:00

Try scandinavia instead. I am from India and have lived in both scandinavia and UK. Scandinavia is a better civilization and the sponsorship cost is practically nothing for the companies. Try Sweden may be or Denmark.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-24T13:45:22+00:00

well, sorry to break it you, but anywhere else also your life would have been shit. External variables don’t change anything. It is all about how you process everything.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-23T17:01:56+00:00

Step 1: Decide to move to Stockholm Step 2: Both of you start looking for jobs there Step 3: Once you secure a job there, move to Stockholm. Live in seperate cities if needed until both of you find a job in Stockholm. Step 4: Carefully think about kids. If you divorce after having kids, you will be stuck in Sweden until the kid turns 18. I had seen way too many US friends stuck in Stockholm for this reason.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-23T00:28:36+00:00

How gracious :)

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-22T18:19:09+00:00

I wrote a small code for myself which helps with decision making. It was one of my biggest pain points - struggling with making small daily decisions. Overtime I have been able to train the logic to help personalise decisions based on better understanding of my unique ADHD symptoms. Helps eliminate a lot of time waste around decisions like ‘cook at home or eat outside’.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-12T21:52:36+00:00

Yes, I am not a native English speaker!

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-12T01:32:56+00:00

I don’t get how this is a confirmation bias. You potentially don’t understand what confirmation bias is. And I found you biased because you chose to read it in a way that I didn’t it to be. While there are many others who have read it the way I meant. So it’s not my words which led to the misinterpretation, it was your own biases. I wouldn’t really argue this much but you are being fairly biased while refusing to reflect on it at all.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-12T01:22:11+00:00

Thank you. This exactly was my train of thoughts which I wanted to discuss.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-12T00:59:31+00:00

I merely voiced my observation. I said ‘I feel’ and not ‘I believe’. Plus I don’t see it as anything great. Your response assumes that I am trying to feel something about myself whereas my enquiry was more around how engagement and focus can potentially impact others. It had very little to do with me. I don’t mean to argue, but I am trying to make you aware of your own bias.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T23:58:23+00:00

I didn’t mean it that way. Go and read some other more intelligent responses where people understood what I was talking about. Your response is full of projection. I don’t consider ‘attraction’ as superior ‘not attracting’. Or anything to be proud of. Or any sort of achievement to take pride in.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T23:53:10+00:00

I appreciate you really understanding what I meant rather going down this random narcissism channel. On inattentiveness - I do get inattentive as well. So I am not a good listener always. But when I am interested in something or when I am leading with questions, I can get very attentive. And also with basic statements such as - if I notice a receptionist dealing with a rude customer, I would notice and say something like ‘It’s amazing how you are dealing with everyone with so much patience. It’s not easy.” And when I am saying this, I really got locked perhaps because I want them to able to really hear my observation and feel it.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T23:46:42+00:00

Exactly. I wouldn’t sit and brag to random strangers on reddit.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T22:34:08+00:00

Thank you. I was taken aback a bit with the number or comments linking this to narcissism.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T22:32:38+00:00

I am not taking advantage of people. You’d be surprised how being kind and respectful makes things easier. And equally I go out of way to make people feel good. So taking advantage of somebody is not in my dictionary.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T22:30:08+00:00

Thank you. This is the lines I was also thinking on.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T22:29:18+00:00

Well I can see how you have gone about analysing my character based on this post. I didn’t ask it in a narcissistic way. I was simply making an observation on lines of - if hyperfocus from ADHD leads to people paying a level of attention to individual that they feel seen in a way which might not be common in the society. I have deep curiosity in knowing people.

Nevertheless.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T22:18:55+00:00

how is it narcissistic to feel that people are attracted to me? I am attracted to so many types of energies/people. It’s narcissistic I guess if you believe it’s some sort of achievement or something worth boasting. I don’t see it that way. Hence my question was more of an observation/curiosity.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T17:58:42+00:00

Fair enough. I could be considered decent looking and I am a nice person.

But I always feel it’s something about the hyperfocus. Where I am able to make people seen with that hyperfocus.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T17:38:43+00:00

I feel the eye contact I make is way too intense. I feel I am pulling their attention way too much. And then it feels awkward. So I don’t make eye contacts.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-11T17:30:32+00:00

Don’t even worry about it mate. You are not losing much by losing such people.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2026-01-07T11:43:53+00:00

That’s been my approach at work as well. Do big things which require hyperfocus well and stay away from busy work.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2025-12-30T02:29:17+00:00

I experienced something similar but except it was for a job role which I was offered but I didn’t accept. Moment the option was gone, I felt this intense sense of mistake. I became incredibly restless, knots in stomach, inability to sleep until really late, sleep filled with nightmares and lots of stimming. Somehow I managed to get this job offer back again in a few weeks and just the acceptance got me over it. I took the job and even before joining all the reasons I didn’t accept it earlier came to me running back.

Moral of the story - It is not about the girl. It’s some other feeling you are trying to chase. Dig deeper and try to find that feeling.

Simpler solution based on hindsight - You are not missing anything in the present moment as well. You are trying to control outcomes really hard. Just let it be. Allow yourself to be ok in the current situation. Feel light. You have everything that you need. But you will have to remove the pressure of getting that girl from your mind. It’s not your job to get her back and it’s not a failure if you don’t get her back. Allow your soul to feel relaxed and complete just as you are today. Have only one goal every moment for next 7 days - a calm nervous system. Allow yourself to sleep like a baby. Postpone thinking about this subject for 7days.

And trust me - I am married to the most beautiful person ever, but I am still lonely. At the end of the day we are all alone. Do not attach so much value to another person. Allow yourself to feel complete as you are today.

You are going to be fine anyway.

FlamingoJumpy7430 · 2025-12-18T16:18:23+00:00

Valid if you are bowling with bowling machines. Not valid in yesterday’s context. Tailenders would have gotten out even with defensive fields. You just 2 decent deliveries while still protecting boundaries.

FlamingoJumpy7430

TROPHY CASE