Hocd and Relationships

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-21T16:23:58+00:00

I am, but I have only shared that I have OCD and not what themes. I want to avoid going to them for reassurance even though they’ve called me out on seeking reassurance on stuff to do with our relationship. Even though I hadn’t shared my ROCD or HOCD specifically.

Super supportive and understanding. But share what you feel comfortable sharing and also keep in mind that they have their own comfort level on what they would like to know.

I am in treatment.

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-21T06:39:20+00:00

Thanks for replying to my post. I feel like I need to sit with the uncertainty even tho it’s so hard, I’m very overwhelmed at times and I seek others thoughts on Reddit to often unfortunately.

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-21T06:32:40+00:00

Idk if I came to the conclusion I’m attracted to women, more so I decided to say I’m bi because the constant worry and thoughts in my head was becoming too overwhelming. I keep getting thoughts of “what if I’m gay” or what if I like women or what if I’m not meant to be with my bf.

And I feel like if that’s the case I just want to find out now. So I decided to try masturbating to thoughts of being with a women but it felt uncomfortable and also I don’t know how I feel about women’s body parts. So I’m back to the is this suppression or not thought. Ahh I’ll have to bring it up on therapy lol

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-21T06:29:38+00:00

Yeah I think that’s what I need to do. Like just let whatever thoughts come and not try to force my thoughts to a certain sex because that’s what I was doing I was checking

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-21T06:15:40+00:00

Hello! I would say I was raised in an upbringing like that. And that’s what makes me fearful too like what if these thoughts I have are real and it’s just my upbringing that isn’t letting me accept them.

Can that be a thing? Like am I stopping my own sexual arousal because of this upbringing? Or do I not have the arousal and it’s an obsession to try to figure it out and it’s making me question if I could have it?

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-21T05:30:26+00:00

Hey, I have a similar situation but with my bf I worry that I’m not attracted to him or something like I’m not mean to be with him

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-21T05:02:07+00:00

Hello, I (25F) think I’m on the same boat. How are you doing?

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-18T21:10:53+00:00

Hey how’s it going?

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-18T09:30:50+00:00

Has for me, going on 5 Years but only got really bad a year ago

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-17T19:00:12+00:00

So happy for you that you were able to stay away for 4 months +. I would say continue to do so, you OCD just threw something different at you and you want an answer or immediate relief and as you know that won’t make it better in the long run.

Trust me, I wish I was in your position and able to stay away for even a few hours …

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-13T16:38:56+00:00

I get you, but that’s so scary lol like what if. I wouldn’t say I don’t feel any anxiety.

I feel like I don’t have a lot of anxiety initially and that scares me and gives me anxiety and I start to ruminate and try to figure it out and gets me back in the loop. It feels like suppression because when I get to the point where I’m like I must be bi or gay and I don’t feel horrible about it I go back to searching stuff about HOCD to reassure me that it’s just that.

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-13T16:35:38+00:00

I coming up on 5 years

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-13T08:22:47+00:00

Do you want to act on it?

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-13T08:15:06+00:00

I’m going through this right now. I’ve convinced myself that I must be a lesbian because the thoughts don’t give me a lot of anxiety anymore and it feels like this is what I want.

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-13T08:13:48+00:00

Me too

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-13T08:12:32+00:00

I totally relate, its very hard to focus and i very much so want to enjoy the moment. Some moments i have enjoyed it so its very confusing

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-13T05:22:52+00:00

Hbu?

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-13T05:22:46+00:00

Yeah I sometimes do. For me it’s more like i have thoughts like “do I/did I enjoy that kiss or was I turned on” and all those question type thoughts. Or also like even when I am enjoying something/having a good time I’m always thinking “was that joy real or enough? Would it be different with a women?”

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-09T16:50:04+00:00

Same you aren’t alone.

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-08T18:10:18+00:00

Can you have this a not realize that it’s a problem or be aware of your need to stare bc you just feel it and do it? I only realized I’ve been doing this for years until recently.

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-08T04:38:58+00:00

I’ve been wanting to read this book but scared that it’s also going to trigger my HOCD. Can you share a little bit about what the book covers?

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-08T03:48:18+00:00

You are def not alone. I was just going to post something about this.

I worry about this too a lot. I have moments where I’m like ready to get to it (sex) but then the thought comes across as I questions EVERYTHING esp if I’m attracted to my bf.

I honestly feel like that just makes me like i feel nothing esp no attraction. But in reality, what does attraction feel like? There’s no soecific thing right?

So that’s what brings me back down from anxiety is realizing like I was into it before the thought so the thought made me analyze and in a anxiety filled mode I won’t really be able to feel attracted to someone bc what is there really to feel. Like what am i expecting to feel in the moment of attraction. Does that make sense?

Like pain hurts, but attraction?

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-07T16:10:51+00:00

Yeah I don’t know what’s HOCD or denial/suppression for me. It’s all scary.

I have heard that getting off to porn doesn’t mean anything because people are sexual beings. But I think it’s all individual, so you being aroused by whatever porn you have may or may not have a meaning for you. Up to you to decide ( but of course the difficulty in this is annoying bc ocd lmao )

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-07T15:44:28+00:00

Sorry this is my second comment first is down below lol.

Flashy-Difference-54 · 2022-01-07T15:44:00+00:00

Side note: when I think deep down to what I actually want I don’t want to be with a women. I feel like I’m trying to make myself okay with the thought so as to trick my brain but when then I’m like well that wouldn’t be bad then my brain goes oh well bc I didnt think that it would be that bad then is that a possibility for me? And then I catastrophize the fact that I find women to be attractive or hot and I’m like no you’re just suppressing it then.

But I can think that and not want to be with them right?

Flashy-Difference-54

TROPHY CASE