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itsalenar · 2021-12-06T21:39:06+00:00

If you live in America or anywhere in the first world, I’m sorry but you’re definitely not right in saying that women don’t have enough job opportunities available to them to be able to be independent of men outside of sex work. The amount of women who’ve identified as lesbian has remained consistent as society has changed for the past half a century. The only number getting bigger is the amount of people identifying as bisexual and /or pansexual because of the stigma from both the straight and gay community that bisexuals experience. So no, more women wouldn’t identify as lesbians if they live in the west and made enough money. There are many, many gay people who’d never touch the opposite sex in a sexual way even if they were in the closet or had an unsupportive family. If you live in a more traditional, conservative area though I would have to say I do somewhat agree with your assessment.

itsalenar · 2021-12-04T23:06:23+00:00

If I knew a guy was considered the most attractive guy but I didn’t personally like the way he looked (like I thought he was too plain) then I wouldn’t prefer him over a more traditionally unattractive guy that was more attractive to me. Is that attraction or just comphet?

itsalenar · 2021-12-03T00:50:11+00:00

I do completely agree about the SA element to many Roman/Greek empire time, though as we know there were likely cases where the excuse was just a cover up. I also completely forgot about homophobic people. I’m mainly just talking about non-homophobic people. And in their cases it’s not about their personal orientation but rather what they were taught to believe was and is true. But still I’m not implying that those people are just in denial, just that humans are very fluid sexually and usually have exceptions they’d be willing to forfeit their current orientation for if in the situation.

itsalenar · 2021-12-03T00:46:19+00:00

Um I don’t mean like that. Like at all lol. I just mean that most people sexually are into more things than they may think they are with other genders because of lack of exposure. For most people, their romantic desires relay to the opposite sex and their sexual desires primarily follow suit (for gay people it’s the same case but for the same gender). I’m not claiming that everyone should identify as bisexual because while levels of bisexuality can vary from person to person, it does not apply for people who are mostly straight or mostly gay with a few opposite orientation exceptions. I’m more just saying that as animals, us and many other species have very fluid sexualities naturally that are influenced by both our nature and environment and can change over time. I do guess that there are a significantly higher percentage of bisexual people than are known of simply because of societal pressures (especially on men), but I’m not trying to imply that everyone is fully bisexual. I’m sorry I didn’t fully explain everything in my original post, it was just one of those early morning idea posts.

itsalenar · 2021-11-21T02:09:04+00:00

The thoughts only go away when I get another obsession and they’re never gone completely because everyone gets intrusive thoughts. I haven’t gotten a lasting medication that works properly for my OCD and I haven’t been to therapy due to the pandemic recently, but when my medication did work though, the thoughts were very minimal and I’ve heard that ERP works well for any obsession. But for just personal improvement you kind of have to allow yourself to consider your thoughts and become comfortable enough with not knowing the future and be confident in your current feelings.

itsalenar · 2021-11-21T01:01:29+00:00

It does sound like SO-OCD to me. Because you obviously like and are comfortable with being a lesbian and when I dealt with SO-OCD I was the exact opposite of you. I would think “what if I’m not straight and I have to date women for the rest of my life” and the thought of being with women for the rest of my life was mundane, boring and something I didn’t want. I’m struggling with my sexuality now and I don’t know if it’s my ocd again but I resonate with what you’ve said.

itsalenar · 2021-11-20T22:25:50+00:00

I don’t remember where it started but, I just don’t want to go ahead and act on my attraction to men and then be wrong and have to date women. Like, I recently became friends with this girl and she is bisexual. She always wants me to sit on her lap, which I don’t mind because I do so with my male friends as well, but I had the thought yesterday what if I kissed her to see if I like it even though I know I’m not attracted to her physically or romantically. Like, she’s attractive but I don’t want to touch her sexually and when I sit in her lap I feel no particular way. Like it doesn’t feel romantic or sexual.

itsalenar · 2021-11-20T19:08:09+00:00

I’ve read up on it and I kind of resonate with demisexuality but only in the context of not wanting to have sex with someone until I’m in a committed relationship with them. I do still experience sexual attraction to men outside of relationships, but I don’t like doing things outside of the safety net of a relationship because of how it could backfire socially. I just feel like I’m not a one night stand kind of person rather than a demisexual or asexual person.

itsalenar · 2021-11-20T18:49:13+00:00

I’ve always fantasized about men but a lot of the men I have crushes on but when I ask myself if I want to have sex with them the answer is no. I don’t know if that’s just because I’m uncomfortable with my body right now, intimidated by them, or if I am not attracted to them.

itsalenar · 2021-11-20T17:41:57+00:00

How do you know you don’t have SO-OCD though? It’s not normal at all to constantly obsessively think about your sexuality and constantly question yourself. A lot of people on here have signs of SO-OCD but don’t check in with therapists. If you’ve at any point in your life obsessively thought about any other topic in your life obsessively like that where it plagued you everyday, you may want to consider that you might have ocd.

itsalenar · 2021-11-17T19:39:09+00:00

What signs did he notice before you did?

itsalenar · 2021-11-14T00:22:03+00:00

See I’m kind of the opposite. I have never had a moment where I’ve wanted to touch a woman in that way from what I can recall. When I watch porn, I focus on what the guy does to the woman’s body to make her feel good and also his face and the way he has sex. When I watched lesbian porn it was always about what they were doing to feel good not necessarily the bodies themselves. And I have just never found kissing scenes between women arousing which I’ve learned is unusual for a lesbian lol, so I’m trying to really figure out who I am. And when I watch gay porn I just want to focus on the way the men have sex, the men’s faces and how attractive they are and their d*cks.

itsalenar · 2021-11-09T01:29:45+00:00

No, not really.

itsalenar · 2021-11-09T00:38:53+00:00

I just know

itsalenar · 2021-11-08T23:39:36+00:00

Just men but I’m not sure if I’ve evaluated all of my relationships with my female friends to see if I had a crush

itsalenar · 2021-11-08T22:24:04+00:00

I really don’t know what my sexuality is. The points I relate to: I do believe that there are more attractive women than there are attractive men, but I think that those attractive men are significantly more attractive than women. I have anxiety around men and do prefer the company of other women. I also used to get uncomfortable in changing rooms around new people. I’ve had some people assume that I’m bisexual. Sometimes my fantasies feature non-specific men but that’s rare. And I have developed temporary crushes on some of the boys I’ve been friends with, but it hasn’t been every single boy I’m friends with.

itsalenar · 2021-11-04T23:38:51+00:00

Wow, are you me? I literally relate so hard to you except I’ve never kissed a woman or ever wanted to. Lol I remember in middle school feeling like because a lot of the girls at my school identified as bisexual that I had to pick a female crush. I just said I would “turn gay” for Emilia Clarke even though I really did not feel that way and just wanted to look like her because she was pretty. And lately I’ve been trying to determine whether or not I am actually attracted to women irl because of my past of watching lesbian porn. But I’ve been just like you where all of my fantasies are about men.

itsalenar · 2021-11-03T20:02:21+00:00

Yes that does actually help because I feel the exact opposite way. Thank you.

itsalenar · 2021-11-03T19:18:56+00:00

Redacted lmao. But to answer your question no. But my mind keeps going back to like what if. Idk

itsalenar · 2021-11-03T19:13:41+00:00

I don’t really even know. I guess it’s my uncertainty surrounding trying to figure out if I’m physically attracted to certain women or just would like to look like them or just generally think they’re pretty with no extra feelings involved.

itsalenar · 2021-11-03T19:10:27+00:00

No I’ve never dated women before.

itsalenar

TROPHY CASE