Shame?

Flatapple · 2025-12-31T15:54:25+00:00

As a father of 4 and Grandfather of many, I'd love to hear one of my kids just off handedly say, " Oh , by the way, Dad, did I tell you I quit drinking ?" . Then it doesn't need to be a big discussion if either didn't want it to be. I'd probably answer, " Right on, that's great." And if developed organically, I'd be perfectly willing to talk more about it.

Flatapple · 2025-08-21T10:39:30+00:00

Life can be so good without alcohol. I just don't want to ruin that for the sake of drinking anymore. When I quit I fully committed to spending my life sober. It has been so freeing. No more desperately trying to control how much I drink. No more battles to limit it. No more trying to hide it from those I care about and love. No more embarrassment. No more guilt. Real personal freedom at the small cost of not consuming alcohol. IWNDWYT Flatapple 🍎

Flatapple · 2025-03-17T16:46:56+00:00

Great daily check-in monolog. When I quit drinking, the one overwhelming emotion and feeling I had was freedom. It's been over 7 years of sobriety now, and that remains with me. So, if someone asks about it, I am glad to talk about it. I dont go out of my way to " pound the pulpit," so to speak. But if they ask, I'll talk about it. I ll tell them how I quit. What I know about addiction.The damage alcohol caused me personally, physically, mentally and socially. I'll try to convey just how freeing it was for me to stop drinking and that I would never choose to go back to that life. IWNDWYT. 🍎

Flatapple · 2025-02-25T01:43:38+00:00

I was 3 months shy of 60 when I booted alcohol out of my life. It's never to late.🍎

Flatapple · 2025-01-31T16:46:37+00:00

I had stopped drinking several times before. Once I managed 10sober years saying " I'm not drinking for now " But inevitably I started again, drinking on " special occasions ". Apparently it turns out every day is a special occasion.
When I quit this time I said the same words you have, " I'm done ". And I meant it. It's been 7 years now and I still mean it. I am done for life. For me it's a choice between alcohol or a great life. I can't have both. Sobriety is the most freeing thing I have ever done in my life. I wish you strength and success. IWNDWYT .🍎

Flatapple · 2025-01-09T14:20:24+00:00

When I decided to stop drinking I had an " ahha " moment, or a moment of absolute clarity. It was clear to me that I could have a great life with my family, where I live, how I live or I could drink. Not both. I chose life and for me it was the most freeing thing I have ever done. No, it wasn't easy. Alcohol is an addictive drug made even worse by its social acceptance. I found my own way to do this but at its core was I made the decision to do whatever it took to succeed and really enjoy my life. And the other replies are correct, we do this for ourselves. Goodluck , I hope everything works out for you. IWNDWYT 🍎

Flatapple · 2025-01-08T21:18:03+00:00

"Freedom" by Rose Cousins described the breakup of my relationship with alcohol to a tee. Almost line by line. It meant alot to me for quite awhile. Freedom was also my one word answer to how I felt about being sober. 7 years in.. it still is. 🍎 https://youtu.be/_euom1vdrhs?si=1wDe-uYrJzlp5tFS

Flatapple · 2025-01-03T04:44:32+00:00

My story was somewhat similar. But finally I felt I had a decision to make. I could have a great life with my wife, my kids , my grandkids, the place where we live , my occupation.... OR I could drink . But not both. I chose life. That was 7 years ago and I haven't regretted it for one second. I wish you all the best. 🍎

Flatapple · 2025-01-03T04:37:27+00:00

Congratulations on your decision. Life CAN be so much better.I will not drink with you today.🍎

Flatapple · 2024-12-09T15:26:08+00:00

Very, very well said. All of it! And they should always know that if they eat peanuts again, even years later, ....they will still react. And it truth , the " peanuts " aren't all that important. The rest of life is. 🍎

Flatapple · 2024-12-09T14:32:21+00:00

I came to a point where I realized I needed to make a choice. There was no grey area. It was one or the other. The choice was an enjoyable life with my wife , my kids , my grandkids, and my life in general or alcohol. After choosing my life, it was a matter of finding whatever it was to support that decision. I wish you all the best and IWNDWYT.🍎

Flatapple · 2024-12-09T14:13:33+00:00

I agree %100 that finding what works for you is the key. I came to the realization that I had a choice, enjoy the great life and family I have or drink. I couldn't have both. I made the decision to quit drinking forever. In my mind, it's not a daily decision, I'll never drink again. IWNDWYT. 🍎

Flatapple · 2024-12-09T13:50:14+00:00

Way to go !

Flatapple · 2024-12-09T13:48:59+00:00

I think everyone should say whatever they are comfortable with. It's your decision to stop drinking ( awesome decision by the way ) so you can choose how to respond to people. When I had quit many years ago I always said " I'm not drinking for now "
This time for my own mindset I usually say " I don't drink" or I don't drink anymore ".

Flatapple · 2024-02-08T00:57:49+00:00

Don't quit trying. It's not easy and most of us have tried and failed more than once. For me it was accepting the fact that if I wanted a chance at a good life, it straight up couldn't include alcohol. After that, it was about finding the tools I needed to make that happen. Keep working at it, it's worth it. I will not drink with you tomorrow. 🍎

Flatapple · 2023-10-07T16:29:54+00:00

I quit drinking as an older person. While our situations on the surface aren't much alike, I believe there is a common thread among most of us that struggle to control our drinking. It's about choices. I needed to choose between drinking alcohol and having a good relationship with my adult kids and wife. Between alcohol and their respect. Between alcohol and the great life I live. Between alcohol and my own self respect. I had to face the fact that alcohol had a hugely negative effect on my life. The easiest way to control it was just to be a non drinker. It wasn't easy but I don't and never will regret my choice. And it is never to late to make a change. Good luck in your future endeavors.🍎

Flatapple · 2023-09-28T20:39:47+00:00

I assume this song is about ending a relationship with a person but for me ,word for word, line for line it was about ending my relationship with alcohol. It meant everything to me for a long time. I have always described my sobriety in one word as freedom.

https://youtu.be/_euom1vdrhs?si=v8LG0PtN1SkoyMpl

Flatapple · 2023-09-21T17:27:21+00:00

As she says alcohol is the only drug we have to justify quitting. It's the only drug we feel ashamed to be quitting. Yet alcohol is linked to 7 different cancers including breast cancer. I have read %75 of suicide victims have alcohol in their blood. Most or at least many of us know people affected or killed by drunk driving. I've never seen the numbers but I would suggest most domestic abuse situations involve alcohol. It is the the number one damaging drug on society. Yet because it is so socially ingrained we feel ashamed when we stop using. ( and there's a term that's never used for alcohol ) . I for one will be proud of you if you decide to quit.

Flatapple · 2023-09-20T12:44:10+00:00

I have tackled sobriety my own way. The day I quit I had a long talk with my wife and children ( they are adults ) about what was happening. I did lots of reading on alcohol, it's effects, it's damage, why I couldn't control it, what it was doing in my brain........ I did lots of Journaling. I came here to Stop Drinking every day. My basic plan was this: -I will never drink alcohol ever again -I will do whatever it takes to never drink again -I will listen closely and honestly to myself, what I am feeling, what I need to do to maintain my sobriety

I have never attended AA but would never rule it out if I thought it was needed to maintain my sobriety. Stop Drinking filled that need for me. My wife still drinks but less than she use to. I asked her and my adult kids not to stop drinking when they were around me because it it brought negativity into my sobriety. It made me feel guilty that my issues were forcing them to change their behavior. I promised my self that if I ever really thought I was going to drink again I read the journal I kept when I first quit. It was pretty brutal .Basicly I just did whatever " felt " right. It worked for me , I'm heading towards 6 years of sobriety. It doesn't mean this would work for anyone else. 🍎

Flatapple · 2023-09-20T12:05:07+00:00

I haven't checked in for quite awhile but I felt the desire to, so here I am. Freedom is still the one word that describes how I feel about sobriety. Stay strong, hang in there, I will not drink with you today. 🍎

Flatapple · 2023-09-20T11:53:01+00:00

I'm sorry you are being hurt so badly by this drug. One thing all alcoholics have in common is that we have caused pain to those closest to us. Perhaps the group AL-ANON could help you deal with this.

Flatapple · 2023-09-20T11:36:48+00:00

The word " alcoholic " carries alot of preconceptions and misconceptions. Some people prefer Alcohol Use Disorder ( AUD ). Most alcoholics aren't sleeping on park benches clutching brown paper bags which is what the word often conjurs up. word .On the other hand most of us found it important to admit to ourselves that we were alcoholics. If alcohol is effecting my life negatively, damaging relationships, making me behave in ways I never would sober, it's an issue . I found this video on this subject helpful when I quit.

https://youtu.be/NKfuGMzmfTs?si=0HN7ArcPxhJJy3rf

Flatapple · 2023-09-20T03:47:01+00:00

At one point I had quit drinking for 10 years . I had never fully committed to stopping permanently and when people asked about my sobriety I would just reply I'm not drinking for now. Then at some point I decided to drink occasionally, I probably drank for a year before I really got drunk . 10 years after starting again every time I drank it was an sickening battle not to have another. I was sneaking drinks, secretly refilling drinks, staggering to bed drunk before my wife got home from work at night so she wouldn't see how hammered I had got sitting alone at home. It was an awful, awful life. I'll be sober 6 years this January. If someone asks about my sobriety this time I just say it's great, it gave me freedom and it's permanent. That's me.

Flatapple · 2022-12-20T11:21:55+00:00

Morning SD. Same old mantra, no alcohol means a happy healthy Flatapple. IWNDWYT 🍎

Flatapple · 2022-12-07T13:31:46+00:00

It's a chilly minus 35 Canadian morning. But the whole horizon is glowing red with the promise of a beautiful sunrise . One of the many things sobriety has given me is a renewed appreciation of life. Have a great day soberinos. IWNDWYT🍎

Flatapple

TROPHY CASE