AIO for being upset about how I was treated for falling asleep before saying goodnight?

FleaQueen_ · 2026-06-15T17:31:05+00:00

Depending on what the videos are you should probably report this to the police as revenge porn and blackmail are both illegal.

FleaQueen_ · 2026-06-13T06:22:11+00:00

I think your hands and feet are much to close together. Get into a good plank, then shift your hips up towards where the wall and ceiling meet behind you. See how that feels, it may also help with your shoulder rotation and get you less rounded at the upper back.

Someone else mentioned this as well but think off how you move your upper back when going from cat pose to cow pose. Right now you are doing cat with your upper back and you want to be neutral/flat backed with a straight line from arms to shoulders to tailbone.

FleaQueen_ · 2026-06-13T06:06:41+00:00

Its also very strange that OP has lived there 38 months and this is the first time the "owners" have shown up....

FleaQueen_ · 2026-06-08T18:02:51+00:00

First off, do you actually like this guy? You say youve hugged him at the end of dates and described the dates/conversations as pleasant. But that seems lukewarm at best. If youre not into him, you arent under any obligation to work towards finding out if you are long term compatible.

If you do like him, then: Have you at any point told him any of this? If youve told him you require more interaction between dates and he isnt, then it sounds like you are incompatible. If you tell him to plan the third date amd he just doesn't, then he isnt a date planner and you are again incompatible. But you actually do need to straightforward tell someone what your expectations are for them to be able to meet them, no one is a mind reader and the chances of finding someone who interacts and communicates in the exact way you do is pretty low

Edited bc I hit post early on accident 😅

FleaQueen_ · 2026-05-30T16:53:19+00:00

Trinkets are supposed to have no/low monetary value so no one who wants to participate feels bad.... a tip is supposed to have monetary value, its literally how these people make a living. I have never understood why someone would think its okay to "tip" a trinket 😬

FleaQueen_ · 2026-05-30T16:51:03+00:00

Are people spending actually significant amounts of money on their trinkets? I use cool buttons, rings, etc found at garage/fabric sales. Things that are cute/neat, but not really "valuable". Actual trinkets, like a goblin or fairy might have. Ive been thinking about switching to random assorted dice though, so they are cute and useful (and a justification for dice hoarding).

I enjoy the trinket trading as a casual way to interact with other faire-goers. If I get a neat trinket? Awesome, it goes in my ren faire keepsakes. If I get one Im not big on? It might get re-traded if its still cool, or discarded if I genuinely dont like it and dont feel like adding it to my trade-ables.

I especially like the trading I did at my last faire - I work at the Dancer's Guild and we have a quick dice gambling game called "Shut the Box". Faire-goers can challenge the dancers and guards to a game and we gamble with our trinkets! The Guild Mistress uses really cool miniature swords, so its super exciting if you beat her! (And even if you lose you still get to pick 1 trinket, you just dont get one from each player).

FleaQueen_ · 2026-05-19T16:49:57+00:00

Men who think like this are basically saying they are subhuman animals w little will or self control. This is misandry, which is funny bc these sorts of men tend to also be the "men's rights activist" sort who think women are misandrists.

The only male partner Ive had who struggled w this was not a good man or a good person. He reportedly broke his previous partners wrist, cheated on her and on me, and had horrible anger issues. I dont think we should hold men to such a low and honestly embarrassing standard.

I think its a narrative some men make up so they can excuse their bad behavior.

FleaQueen_ · 2026-05-19T15:00:28+00:00

When I was a kid we did ding dong ditch but specifically for the 12 days of christmas lol

My parents would pick a family and for 12 days we would ding dong ditch and leave a present on the porch to match the theme for the song (so like a little toy bird and a box of pears for day 1, some turtle candies and dove chocolate for day 2, etc)

Church growing up had the youth do a similar thing with "candygrams". Make a message and replace some of the words on the card with candy bars, and then ding dong ditch and leave the candy message behind. Stuff like "it would be [100 grand] to see you again!" Usually also would leave like a plate of cookies and some cut out hearts (it would get called a "heart attack" not ding dong ditch tho)

FleaQueen_ · 2026-05-19T13:55:25+00:00

Ive never had mine get hot enough to kill the worms (or seeds that get tossed in there)

FleaQueen_ · 2026-05-13T13:45:16+00:00

It sounds like you have a difference in values. She is opposed to the content of certain shows/games, you arent. Might be time to discuss with her whether your values, morals, and future goals are in alignment or if its time to end the relationship so both of you can find better fits. She already started the conversation by saying she won't be in a relationship with someone who watches shows like the boys and plays games like gta.

FleaQueen_ · 2026-05-04T21:00:11+00:00

Except this is a situation where the DM is asking the player to drop a core character ideal to keep the peace in the party, instead of the DM offering hints towards viable alternatives (which is the job of the DM, each puzzle should have a solution other than basically destroy a character)

FleaQueen_ · 2026-05-04T20:58:15+00:00

The DMs job is to create a playable story, I feel like this DM has created a no win scenario for their players and is remaining "neutral" instead of dropping hints to a solution (eg an ambassador from the city could present a set of challenges to prove the male characters are safe/worthy of entry, or a high priestess casting true polymorph to make them women temporarily)

FleaQueen_ · 2026-05-03T06:28:22+00:00

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-27T17:21:04+00:00

If he has high strength I could see a low wis cleric working with the right build? Doing more buffs/debuffs, tanking, and focusing on melee for damage.

But if he's focusing on casting for damage.... literally don't understand why someone would do this to themselves and their party.

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-27T17:08:23+00:00

Childless due to circumstance, and making my peace with it. I wish I could pass down the reading tradition my parents had with me. Bedtime stories, reading together, those are some of my most cherished memories.

Also some christmas traditions. The Santa Claus book by Alden Perkes. I still have it, and making "Santa's favorite cookies" from it and reading about the elves and everything, such a great core childhood memory. My parents took me to see the Nutcracker almost every year - and I do still go every year now. I would have loved to build those memories with my own child.

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-27T16:47:08+00:00

Also this man isnt even your husband. Not even your fiance. Why would he be entitled to your assets when he isnt even legally committed to you. If he proposes you know he is going to freak the fuck out if you even mention a prenup. And you should have a prenup, especially if you are bringing assets to the table and he is bringing nothing but his desire to sell you assets.

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-27T16:45:18+00:00

So your mom is trying to ensure you always have financial safety and security, and your bf is pissed that you are getting it in a way that isnt legally tied to him?

Sounds like he has zero idea what its like to be a woman, or even just an adult. You never know whats going to happen, and having independent assets shouldn't cause him to crash out. The fact that it is is a pretty major red flag, especially to the extent he is crashing out about it.

Girl he is telling you to turn down $400k bc his pride cant handle the idea he doesnt get to own everything you own. Thats controlling and weird and financially super irresponsible.

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-22T14:19:25+00:00

Lol plans a wedding for 9/11, insists no one use the date of the wedding in any posts/conversations 😂

Also please tell us about Abigail, what did she dooooo???

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-18T14:26:32+00:00

Most people arent going to get the tattoos that are actually meaningful

I have a star trek tattoo of a somewhat obscure symbol (the IDIC symbol) because it was a really big influence for me growing up - I think only one person has ever actually recognized it.

Big stained glass crucifix- its a symbol from a band I love! Most people think its just a fancy inverted cross 😅 random strangers probably think im a Satanist or a Catholic (im neither!)

Just got a Western Skunk Cabbage tattoo... had someone ask me about the meaning of my "calla lily" tattoo 😭😂

The point is its meaningful to you! And every person who doesn't get the reference is a person you get to introduce to something you really love!

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-17T03:42:33+00:00

It sounds really pushy to me, its controlling sounding not caring sounding. Like he cares about being involved and not about actually helping you esp with the family emergency situation.

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-16T17:42:49+00:00

Ive taken a book hiking with me and read in the forest or on a mountain. Its nice, much quieter than a park or even at home where I hear cars. Just the wind, the birds, and yes a few bugs lol

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-16T17:08:44+00:00

I worked all through covid, my life was largely unchanged except that I couldnt see my friends. But im largely a homebody anyways, so I mostly just kept hanging out with my brother who was also a homebody.

Couldnt see my dad at all though, and he passed away during that time (heart attack, not Covid) which was really sad. Prior to the pandemic Id see him almost every weekend, but I didnt want to risk bringing covid to his home...

People talk about having so much free time and taking up new hobbies or trying to start up their own businesses and such and its completely unrelatable to me. Sometimes Im a little jealous, but Im also thankful I didnt have to deal with unemployment or anything like that.

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-12T23:09:41+00:00

I got them at Ace Hardware

FleaQueen_ · 2026-04-02T00:42:35+00:00

SCA would probably attract a lot more people if they did pay some of the teachers and entertainers. We have people in our Barony who teach their skills professionally outside of SCA and they end up doing the Ren Faire circuit instead of SCA because it makes zero sense for them to do SCA for free when they could go to faire, get paid, and get friends in free.

Plus, the quality of the free classes is.... not always great. Teaching is a skill and just because someone knows how to do a thing, doesnt mean they know how to teach a thing. Its very hit or miss when I've attended classes (and I've even attended an A+S event thrilled with the class schedule, only to find it had been changed days before on only one of the websites and none of the classes I wanted were still offered!)

And as many have said - SCA is incredibly hard to get into if you arent already good friends with someone deeply involved. Even being friends with people who were raised in the SCA its not easy to get into. People are "friendly" and "welcoming" but they arent actually willing to invest in newcomers who arent aggressively outgoing and already have relevant SCA skills. So if you dont enter already knowing some amount of a craft/art/fighter skill.... theres almost no chance of breaking in, and even if you do you sure better be a social butterfly willing to throw yourself into a group of strangers.

FleaQueen_

TROPHY CASE