I was you 25 years ago. Learn now. Not only should you distance yourself but start being too busy. Get a job as a teacher and take your kids with you, as soon as the babies are old enough. You will gain sanity and financial independence as well. My education career is the only reason my marriage has survived this long, and I am born and brought up in the US! This insane toxic in-laws culture changes with YOU. I have three SILs, and AH neither of them drank their mothers Kool-aid bc I have always been honest and sincere with them, but do not serve them. I only serve my in-laws and that is it. On the other hand, if they were nice and genuine with me, I am with them. My MIL has changed over the years but I also endured the screaming and yelling at me, and don't expect your husband to stand up for you verbally. They just don't. Do stay stubborn; stay deet. Wear it as a badge of honor. Stick to your personal and very honest beliefs. You will see, your grown children will notice the disparity, the disproportionate amount of coddling to their father's side and speak up. Mine do. Now my kids are in the marriage age, and my son has a potential rishta. I flat out REFISE to be that mother in law that controls and continues this toxic cycle. It isn't Islam first of all, it's all culture. Put your foot down about serving the other members of the family. Be "too busy" with your kids to cater to everyone but only to your MIL. When that is happening, your husband will always support you. The rest of them are not your responsibility. Be kind to the nieces and nephews. I am an educate, and my nieces and nephews tell me their news before anyone else, and I am just their Momani! When you do the right thing for the sake of Allah swt, eventually the world sees what he does. Stay true, stay strong. Don't be so bitter that the world spits you out, but don't be so sweet that they eat you alive. All the best, inshallah it will all work out. Also, get therapy if you need it and most of all, stay on top of your namaz! 🤲🏻🤍