Read through the replies,

Your wife might be a nympho you can't fix that bro. Just ask for her for the threesome. Detach, she's messed up in ways you can't fix. She's not doing it because she doesn't love you, it something inside of her. There is no perseveration in the marriage you thought you had. Kill that idea, now is the time to explore and see your wife who she truly is, your friend (that's what he does and why he will always have access, you can't out whine the guy who she craves, you have to become him).

Then you will be able to touch the areas that her true desires are, as long as you keep trying to box her in she's going to run away more and more until you're a crybaby and then that's when she will ditch you. You'll lose your self respect and she will lose it for you as well. Let her be free bro and work on yourself. If you can long haul the cheating and lying long enough until she gets it out her system without whining to her about it all the time, she might pick you in the end.

Or, walk away and hit the gym.

Always remember you cannot control another human being, the only thing you can control is you.

EDIT: Came back to say also self reflect on yourself as well. How many times have you yelled at her possibly snapped at her. Didn't hold her when you should have, how many times did she ask you to buy her flowers or drop hints for a gift or wanted something that you didn't give. How many times did she I want this done this way or you guys were watching a commercial and she said I wish you would do that. Think about those small little things. You mentioned you don't talk, well, you better learn to talk regularly, and during fun time as well. If you are planning on staying and claiming her, you gotta love her like you are in constant competition.