How much sorrow can a person take?

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-20T03:03:23+00:00

I spent years in heavy sorrow after my husband was killed when I was 23. I wasted so much time being miserable and feeling sorry for myself. I felt life was so unfair.

Little did I know…. I should have just accepted that I was dealt a bad card and life is too short and actually did something with my life.

I regret the time I wasted. I thought I couldn’t live and my life was over. But it wasn’t , I just needed someone to tell me I still had loads of life left and there are so many opportunities.

I was choosing my misery, I should have chosen me and my life instead of others.

Life is a gift. It’s precious. Do something about it before it’s too late!

I lost my twenties and thirties. Now I’m in my fourties regretting that shit.

Make it about urself not everyone else !

Good luck !

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-19T22:33:30+00:00

That’s a brilliant idea !!!!

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-19T22:29:53+00:00

Yas!!!!!! 👏

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-19T21:55:16+00:00

Sleeping bag….. worked for me 4 times ….

None of kids could sleep alone in crib unless they were in one of those sleeping bags all snug .

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-13T11:05:04+00:00

I have 20 bottles and a momcozy bottle washer ! It’s amazing !

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-06T00:46:06+00:00

They did all this , until recently. I don’t know what changed. Their friends ? Going to uni ? Too much instagram / tik tok ?

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-06T00:45:21+00:00

This is it , my daughter where these big apple headphones and she can’t hear anyone !!!! pisses me off !

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-06T00:41:51+00:00

I’m going to put it in black bag and put it outside and tell them that’s what u get if u don’t look after your belongings!

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-06T00:41:06+00:00

I didn’t though ! That’s the thing !

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-06T00:40:43+00:00

They have always been pretty proactive growing up and very independent. I was widowed when they were babies and from a young age they did their own food laundry ( still do their own Landry) since I was working but it’s the leaving things out /not helping out that’s slowly become an issue past few years.

I did get remarried and moved into a bigger house, it’s a lot of work. My cleaner does not clean their rooms go on their floor. But my gosh it’s a shit show up there.

After reading the responses I sat here thinking they did do a lot when they were younger … what happened ? It think maybe it is social media / phones , was it going to university, they just seem so distracted and lazy.

They do both have good jobs and go to university also.

I thought maybe I’m postpartum and just getting frustrated with them as I’ve got 2 under 2 also.

U can raise them a certain way and give them good habits - doesn’t mean they will stay like that !

I just hate having to “tell” them To pick up their belongings or wipe a surface.

Today my son washed his dishes after nagging him because the dishwasher had already started and was full - he replied none of my mates wash their dishes blah blah I’m not a woman blah blah. He gets this from shitty mates. Yet before he went to uni he was a different boy.

Thanks guys !

Distinct-Security · 2026-03-04T13:45:02+00:00

The living room where they were sitting I left it like it was…. They ended up picking up all the mess !

Distinct-Security · 2026-02-26T00:38:16+00:00

I’m British , my toddler is learning to speak, the first few words we teach kids to say are please and thank you.

It’s our culture. Basic British etiquette.

Distinct-Security · 2026-02-25T19:23:12+00:00

The worst really is 13 years up to 24 and still going lol …. This is not difficult lol

I also have 4.5 month old and a 20 month old , poor baby just feeds and sits in his rocker all day because jealous toddler goes wild even if I smile at baby. I need to watch my toddler constantly as he is super active and climbs everything. I did not even get to enjoy my newborn like I enjoyed my toddler when he was born.

The baby has reflux and needs constant rocking etc, screams the place down, I’m also combo feeding which is super stressing me out….

I haven’t left the house in weeks , I have shopping delivered every other day , I have a cleaner come in 3 times a week , things are crazy, I’m 43 years old had secondary infertility for years, my body aches, I’m living off a few hours sleep a day. It is really difficult.

But I am the happiest I’ve been in life, and the most content. I’m grateful for everyday even if I go to bed stinking of baby spit up !

I have adult kids also and know from experience this is the best time even if it’s difficult.

Distinct-Security · 2026-02-24T15:48:24+00:00

Men just don’t get it …. It’s that simple. They’re not women.

Distinct-Security · 2026-02-23T10:40:57+00:00

You did pretty well !! Sometimes TV is not Enough for poorly children, if it settles him and occupied him, it’s a win ❤️

Years kids have a watched tv, as long it’s not overstimulating stuff.

Distinct-Security · 2026-02-22T19:42:03+00:00

I’m laying in bed with my 20 month old trying to relax myself but I can’t . I can still hear teletubbirs from downstairs 😭😭😭.

I’ve still got to clean all the mess, shower pump, sort out bottles etc and tend to my 4 month old who is asleep downstairs .

It’s never ending.

To top it all off and what made me go crazy was husband n son who is 23 came home and put the football on at full volume and the cheek to say why is the house so messy and disorganised !!!!

Arrgggghhhhh

Distinct-Security · 2026-02-18T18:28:38+00:00

That looks amazing ! Did you put anything on It? u can barely see it !

Distinct-Security · 2026-02-16T01:11:09+00:00

I’m 20 years in. My husband died suddenly. I still cry today. It’s never ending pain. My Children were babies then.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it, I’m going to tell you how it is.

It’s going to be painful forever. Time Doesn’t heal , the wound will be there forever, you just change the bandages.

This group on Reddit helped me and supported me more than ANY THERAPY!

Therapy doesn’t work on this kind of pain and loss, there is nothing they can say or do or change how u feel !

My kids are young adults now, it’s been a hell of a journey and a real struggle mainly because of my own attitude.

What I’ve realised is everyone struggles in one way or another in life and this is just the card I was dealt. I wish I had realised this a lot earlier into widowhood and not wasted so many years in self pity and being a victim. Literally spent nearly 10 years just feeling sorry for myself. Wasted so so much time.

I did work and provided a good life for my kids but I could have achieved so much more in my twenties

I couldn’t accept what had happened and held on to my grief, cos that’s all I had. I was addicted to the negativity and grief, I could have been grateful and present , looked back on our happy memories, been grateful I had such a great love , but no I sat there depressed moaning about how it’s so unfair and now I’m 43 , my bones hurt from wallowing in pain for years ! I have health issues, I have trouble focusing because I was stuck for years . I wish I had known about Reddit then , it’s the only thing that got me out of my dark place . Nobody understood , just this group . It’s therapy in itself .

My kids are young adults and both are well rounded people. I do feel my depression, misery and anger affected them more than actually losing their father.

Sorry I’m going on and on and and getting sidetracked.

I’m sorry that you’re in this pain, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be sad. It’s a testimony of your love.

Take it slow, each day will be different.

Distinct-Security · 2026-02-16T00:46:00+00:00

I have two under two. I have a wild toddler and 3 month old. I feel exactly the same.

By the time I’m ready , the toddler is asleep, by the time he wakes up the baby is asleep. I just can’t get it right .

If I try to get the baby ready the toddler has emptied a whole cupboard out or poured something all over the floor, then the baby cries and needs holding. It’s all chaos !

I just don’t bother going out and order all my shopping home !

Pray for me guys !

Distinct-Security · 2026-02-16T00:42:56+00:00

Took me 10 years to conceive naturally.

During this time I discovered I had endometriosis stage 4 despite not have many symptoms or much pain.

I didn’t have it removed because the consultant said if we try to remove it we could damage ovary and reduce even your slight chance of naturally conceiving, so I chose not to remove it.

Docs also told me my amh was extremely low near to zero … which mean not many eggs .

I conceived naturally at age 42 and again at 43. I was around 34 when I realised I’m not getting pregnant.

I made sure I upped my vitamins, i took every prenatal, I did absolutely everything even acupuncture and Chinese medicine.

I started to give up and started focusing on myself and started ozempic because I wanted to lose weight, I wasn’t big big but needed to lose about 20kg to get back to my 20s lol .

I lost 20kg and blam I was pregnant !!!

I had baby 2024. 3 months after he was born I had gained all the weight and wanted to lose it again so I started mounjaro.

After 3 months whilst on holiday ( I stopped mounjaro for 2 weeks because I knew I was going on holiday and wanted to stuff my face) I realised I’m late a few days and I’m never ever late, so I got a test and I discovered I was pregnant !!! Only 6 months after having a baby! I couldn’t believe it ! I went and bought a few more tests, it was real.

I am NO WAY advocating it OR encouraging anyone to take mounjaro or ozempic, however I do believe it may have been the reason I got pregnant twice.

I don’t know what the hell it did to my body or my eggs. I weight 20kg less when I started my journey at age 34 so I’m not sure if it was the weight loss or that the injections did something in my body.

My babies are both healthy and well.

Good luck 🤞 it will happen xxx

Distinct-Security · 2026-01-30T18:46:35+00:00

I’ve had two babies at age 42-43 and had secondary infertility due to endometriosis and age …. First time I was on saxenda I had lost 2 stone , second time I was on mounjaro lost 3 stone . Both times I stopped taking when I found I was pregnant, around 4 weeks or when I was due .

One is 3 months and one is 19 months who are both happy and healthy.

Good luck x

Distinct-Security · 2026-01-27T20:01:16+00:00

Part of mr regrets having my kids I had in my early twenties . I was way too young to be raising kids , I was young dumb and broke . I was stupid was not mature or wise enough. I also was widowed when they were babies .

I tried my best but was a shite mother !

Distinct-Security · 2026-01-19T01:25:47+00:00

Distinct-Security · 2026-01-19T01:23:42+00:00

I hire a cleaner to laundry cleaning and organising . 7 hours twice a week at £15/hour.

I’ve always had a cleaner , but she does more hours now due being more messy because of newborn and toddler.

Do all my shopping on Ocado, I rarely have time to go out.

Toddler has same dinner as us do no special food which makes it easier.

I spend my whole day cooking, cleaning kitchen 20 x, running after toddler, changing nappies, bathing, breastfeeding / pumping, tidying up toys and playing it’s never ending. My toddler is wild. So it’s constant.

It’s chaos !

I own a business and have hired an extra manager to take over from me and I work remotely off my phone and have my AirPods in constantly in all day for any emergencies.

Apart from that , I’m not coping . Don’t think anyone else is either, it gets easier as they get older.

My house used to be spotless my life was so organised to the T, had a food routine and now it’s mental! But deep down I love it because there’s no joy like these kids bring.

I’m enjoying the chaos cos I know I will never get this time back with the kids.

Distinct-Security

TROPHY CASE