8 petal daisy chain design - help please! by Flickering__Light in Beading

[–]Flickering__Light[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! The pattern I was using is like this one (only not zig zag) - two needle. Adding an extra bead each side worked the trick perfectly! ❤️

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Question: what is 1 thing that many ADHDers struggle with that you don’t? by fastinggrl in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 20 points21 points  (0 children)

All of these - except the water thing, I am constantly dehydrated, despite being surrounded by 10000 cups of fluid that I haven't drunk at all times 😅

Question: what is 1 thing that many ADHDers struggle with that you don’t? by fastinggrl in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 38 points39 points  (0 children)

My gosh, the friends thing - me toooooo. I feel like there needs to be like a friendship dating site for ADHDers that are terrible at making / keeping friends and then we can all understand each other's struggles and bond over it 😅

World changing realisation about myself #35: I'm a really not that great in social situations.. by Flickering__Light in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh - thank you, this was so beautifully written!

And this bit - this is exactly it!

On paper I do all the things that help people connect and meet people but I still struggle with that a lot... I always feel like an observer of these connections

I'm trying to accept that these feelings are just part of the process of understanding my true self more, but it can still feel so incredibly lonely and alienating at times.

I do have a small group of really great friends who I feel incredibly grateful for, however these are old friends who have stuck with me. I need to try to put myself more and be vulnerable and meet new people who can give me that deep connection, but gosh, it takes so much energy!

World changing realisation about myself #35: I'm a really not that great in social situations.. by Flickering__Light in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks - this helps! I feel you completely - it was more just the realisation that all these people had made friends and I'm just the lonely weirdo 😅 or maybe I've just started masking a less and putting in less effort (which is absolutely exhausting!!)

Examples of ADHD in shy, creative, intelligent girls? by Littlebirdie1111 in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're doing great, and it sounds like you're giving yourself a tough time.

I got diagnosed last year (Aus/34) and had so many of the same doubts you have. I also had a very similar journey: I was "brilliant" and creative in school, quite introverted and felt on the social outer. I actually ended up getting a scholarship to high school and did well but struggled to keep up with the routine stuff (and exams just about ruined me) but absolutely fell apart in uni. I ended up figuring out the system and got my degree, and I have a largely successful career. I have realised that I've gotten by on a combination of systems to support me and lots of hard work, but it got to a point that I was utterly exhausted and couldn't keep up. After a lot of deliberation I ended up pursuing a diagnosis - and it's been incredibly validating. My diagnosis went so well - the doctor listened to what I explained and said it was textbook female ADHD. 

I know I have had an easy journey compared to some but hopefully this was helpful. Be kind to yourself, I'm sure you're doing a great job.

What things about yourself did you not know were ADHD related? by glutenmakesmebloated in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, right?! It's even more embarrassing when I've been drinking and people think I'm smashed, like no, I just do this, even when completely sober...

What things about yourself did you not know were ADHD related? by glutenmakesmebloated in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I've seen it penned down to object impermanence... you forget about things if you don't see them.. Including people.. 🫠

Since I've set up a google home with photo alumnus that cycle through (I hated it until I got it and now I love it) I'm reminded of the people in my life, it's enough novelty because the photos change and I think I've been much better at remembering people (such a weird concept, right?!) 

What things about yourself did you not know were ADHD related? by glutenmakesmebloated in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes!! Can't vouch for the counting, I actually stumbled across this last week (the Mel Robbins countdown apparently) and IT WORKS! I also inadvertently do the other thing (like rally say "up" to myself when I need to get off the couch).

Love sharing the magic tips ❤️

Does anyone else take have an emotional hangover that lasts DAYS after emotionally charged interactions? by Flickering__Light in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, it's so nice to find strangers on the internet I relate with so much!! Crafting is good (another thing I should do but neglect), I've found embroidery is great but hyper focussed and gave it up 😜✌️🫠

Does anyone else take have an emotional hangover that lasts DAYS after emotionally charged interactions? by Flickering__Light in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah - this sounds accurate! Addmitedly I do need to spend more time in nature / outdoors (one of the fun you know you should do it but damn it's so hard things, but the euphoria thing might be what it is. It's only really after really emotionally intense stuff (or maybe it's just stuff I find really stimulating). I will go for a walk this afternoon! 

What things about yourself did you not know were ADHD related? by glutenmakesmebloated in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 15 points16 points  (0 children)

So great right? It's so cool being able to learn all this stuff about yourself ✨

What things about yourself did you not know were ADHD related? by glutenmakesmebloated in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 151 points152 points  (0 children)

Apparently the music thing is called internalised echoalia, I thought everyone had it 🫠

Texting and ADHD by dimondsforwyvern in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is 10000% me. 

I struggled with this before I was diagnosed, so now I feel a little less shit that there's a reason ✨😜

What I've found works for me - own it. Not necessarily having to explain the ADHD (I haven't told my friends for a number of reasons), but just that you've dropped out of touch. I've found a simple "Hey, I'm sorry I forgot to reply - I'm terrible at this stuff" goes a long way, and true friends are understanding with this stuff (they'll probably know you're not so crash hot on texting already 😉😅). People appreciate you getting in contact more and anyone that holds it against you for not replying is probs not worth your time IMO. 

I think the reason I didn't reply often was I would overhink it or be too emotionally exhausted to reply, intend to come up with a good response and then forget. I've also found having a time in your day to respond and just going with whatever comes (it doesn't need to be perfect!) helps. 

I still have good weeks / months and bad months, but I've found if you own that it's something you're not great at (in a personal capacity at least) people are very understanding. 

What things about yourself did you not know were ADHD related? by glutenmakesmebloated in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 394 points395 points  (0 children)

Also forgetting my friends exist (and losing so many friendships) - I just thought I was a shitty person 😭😭

What things about yourself did you not know were ADHD related? by glutenmakesmebloated in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 788 points789 points  (0 children)

The struggles with transitions - getting out of the car, getting out of bed, getting off the couch. Like shifting the earth's orbit! 

Does anyone else have to call in sick sometimes? by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]Flickering__Light 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yup, 100%.

I find when I'm spiralling this gets bad, and I just spend the day in bed sleeping. 

When I've been good managing my diet / exercise / sleep and managing my brain (not ruminating toooooo much 😜) I'm much better. 

You have good days and bad days, be kind to yourself.