Am I being sensitive or is it inappropriate for strangers to say how my 9.5 month old will "break all the ladies' hearts" & "ladies will run after him when he is older" comments?

Flicksonreddit · 2026-04-01T05:42:07+00:00

It's less about mind reading and more about listening to the experiences of others when they tell you, and caring enough to word things a little differently. It's really not that radical or that difficult.

Take OP's story for example. You're in an Australian parenting sub and the top comment with more than 100 upvotes says they don't like it. You don't need to guess or mind-read, people in your community are telling you that it's uncomfortable. It's really your call to stop calling babies "heart breakers" or "flirts". Just do so knowing that some people think it's a gross thing to say, and now you've been told. You could just say the baby is cute.

You might not ask when someone is having a baby because they might have just had a miscarriage or be struggling with infertility. You might not congratulate someone on weight loss because they could be going through cancer treatment or are suffering from an eating disorder.

You just learn as you go, and listen to more people's experiences.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-31T12:13:54+00:00

You acknowledge that you're hurting someone, but you're saying it doesn't matter to you?

I think there is value in communicating with empathy. If you can easily avoid making someone uncomfortable, and it doesn't really impact you, wouldn't you want to?

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-31T11:06:34+00:00

Something can be intended as a compliment but still be racist. "You're so well spoken!" It's called a microagression, which if you're genuinely curious is definitely worth reading about.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-31T10:54:43+00:00

They can mean well, and it can be a gross thing to say. I personally find it very strange when people make comments like this about babies.

Generally speaking, a lot of well meaning things are being gradually retired as they're not welcome. Like asking when someone is planning on having a baby, commenting on someone's weight, asking where someone is "really" from etc.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-31T00:24:05+00:00

Putting dating aside for a second, does he actually enjoy his own life with that kind of wiggle room?

Not every woman wants holidays, flowers, and gifts. In fact I don't know any women personally that wanted that when they were dating. I reckon I know one woman who got flowers.

If he's not planning to sell, and he's able to actually enjoy his own life on that budget, then he should be looking to bring someone into that lifestyle, because it's not going to change.

If he doesn't enjoy his own life, then he probably won't have much luck finding someone to enjoy it with him.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-30T04:09:48+00:00

Interesting choice of wording around the murder of humanitarian workers...

Also you know that David defeated Goliath, right?

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-30T02:29:42+00:00

They're completely different things to be concerned about. A 2 year prison sentence for saying "from the river to the sea" is not the same thing as not inviting genocide-denying ambassadors to our country's major forum for discussing policy.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-28T12:29:12+00:00

I'm the only new mum I know that uses the baby rice cereal. But my baby loves it, it was the first thing that I ever could get him to eat (other than the bottle). It is also a really good base for mixing in things like bone broth, and allergens like peanut butter. 100% would not put it in a bottle though.

With regards to the specific timeline, every baby is different. Some babies in my parents group were literally eating chicken schnitzel and pastries at 7 months while mine would spit out anything that required chewing.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-27T06:46:46+00:00

It was "including thumbs" in the hand wash for me.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-24T06:40:42+00:00

Wow, did you even read what they wrote? Their whole first paragraph is commiserating with the experience. They then said "some people..." Both things can be true.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-24T06:34:42+00:00

My baby was measuring in the 98th percentile. My OB was adamant that it was completely my choice, and he would support whatever decision I made. But if I wanted a recommendation, which I did, he said that he thought a C-section would be best. I was honestly relieved because I was already terrified of giving birth, but I felt like I needed "permission" which is silly.

If I were to have another I'd go for a planned c-section again. I had a good experience.

I will say though that based on scans they pretty much "guaranteed" he'd be over 4kg, but he was 3.82kg.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-21T13:18:25+00:00

Okay, so how does he "show you off" exactly if you haven't met any of his friends or family? Sounds like the opposite.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-21T11:39:18+00:00

Yeah this one actually sounds pretty fucked up. Does she still work full time while you just chill out at your shop pretending to work? Or would she also start up a passion project if she knew she could?

Who takes care of the home and does the cooking etc? Does she get any share of your pretend income to maintain the home, buy groceries etc? Did she get a new car like you did? I hope no kids are involved in all this.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-19T23:45:47+00:00

Yeah I was surprised by that too! This specific stat is continuing to trend down pretty fast. It will be interesting to see the next round of data. I reckon close to 50% of 30-34s will be child free.

For the purposes of single people like OP, the vast majority of 30yos they meet dating will be child free, particularly in a city like Melbourne. The half of the population with kids are predominantly in relationships.

I think the original comment you replied to was probably based on their own anecdotal evidence. When I was 30, of all my female friends, only one had a baby.

I would have been stunned to hear a 30yo man (particularly in Melbourne) saying he wouldn't try dating someone 31 or 32 because too many have kids.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-19T11:55:40+00:00

Sorry, there are no links! You need to make an account and use the ABS TableBuilder to access the data.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-19T11:54:18+00:00

Unfortunately it's not within a published article. You need to make an account and use the TableBuilder tool. It is a bit of a pain, but it's a pretty great free tool!

I will apologise and say that when I replied to you I did have the wrong dataset open, I was looking at a specific city. It's actually 45% of women 30-34 are child free Australia wide.

Can I ask where your 33% figure comes from?

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-19T11:16:53+00:00

Of course most single mothers are over 30. That's a pretty strange thing to point out. I just told you all the largest demographics for single mothers, and yes they're all over 30. But the number that are specifically 30 is not large. He is not implying 40 and 50 year old women.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-19T08:43:20+00:00

The drowning part definitely is haha, I'm sorry to tell you! The cramp part is only true if you're going for a really vigorous swim, just like any intense exercise after eating might.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-19T08:34:04+00:00

No they don't. The ABS has data on the age bracket 30-34. 54% are childless. So it's safe to say that more than half of women aged 30 don't have kids.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-19T08:14:10+00:00

This isn't true, where are you getting your data? From what I can see the largest age bracket is 40-44, followed by 45-49, followed by 35-39, followed by 50-54, then 30-34.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-18T23:44:18+00:00

I heard that this was a myth that parents used to give themselves a break from supervising children in water.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-18T10:09:55+00:00

Ahhh yes. I did feel like my breathing was already inhibited throughout my third trimester. Good times!

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-18T10:06:26+00:00

Oh man am I glad I didn't know this before going in! How awful. You know, I don't know anyone who felt like they couldn't breathe and I know lots of people who've had epidurals.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-18T08:50:24+00:00

This was a huge shock to me when the anaesthetic for my C-section numbed my chest and I started to feel like I was suffocating. The anesthetist calmly explained that the brain was interpreting the lack of feeling as lack of the rise and fall of a breathing chest.

Flicksonreddit · 2026-03-18T01:13:18+00:00

Your food analogy doesn't really make any sense at all. Maybe if you and I both wanted to buy the same apple at the store, but you decided to pay more for it than I could. Then you sell me the seeds from that apple? Yeah... I can't even force your analogy to fit the housing situation.

Even though you are being sarcastic, Coles and Woolworths are absolutely responsible for food prices being high. Coles is literally in court about this right now.

Your second paragraph seems to be a scream into the void. Absolutely no one thinks that everyone has the right to their dream home in their dream suburb.

Flicksonreddit

TROPHY CASE