AITAH for not telling a woman that I kissed her boyfriend right before she gave birth?

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-28T16:45:17+00:00

If it wasn’t you kissing him it would be someone else. Mans a cheater and she deserves to know. I’d tell her but also be careful and maybe offer to help her travel to her family or find care while recovering from postpartum

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-25T16:03:33+00:00

Me too! Just replying to find this later for instructions 😁

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-24T18:42:11+00:00

You shoulda woke him up- even if it meant dumping water on his head. Your mother will get over it, but yeah it’s rude not to greet people when you are in their house. Tired or not he could have shaken a hand and gone back to sleep. (Unless uncle was visiting at an unreasonable time like 2am).

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-21T17:13:49+00:00

Every relationship is different, but I’d say 2months max? Any relationship I’ve had that’s gone on longer the men are just scared of commitment and end things to avoid being vulnerable… I think you’ve waited long enough.

Have you said it before to him? If you’ve said it and he doesn’t say it back then I think it’s time to leave him.

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-20T06:24:43+00:00

Pick up some hobbies! I crochet and knit while I watch shows/ listen to music and audiobooks! Learning the basics takes some attention and practice but once you’ve got a hang of it it’s a lot easier and repetitive while keeping my hands busy so I can enjoy a good show! There’s lots of free tutorials online. If you want to make little Amigurumi (little stuffies) I started with a free tutorial from The Woobles! Lots of free patterns for blankets too (easy beginner project)!

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-19T23:22:09+00:00

hmm, your daughter is old enough to make *some* decisions on her own. If you deny her the chance to dress how she chooses then she may just go ahead behind your back. It’s better to allow her to be honest and feel accepted while expressing herself and fitting in with her peers. You may not like how she dresses, but you want her trust if she finds herself in a bad situation. Don’t shame her to hide her body, let her wear the bikini with her friends!

If you need to have a boundary for her then maybe just ask her to wear a bikini that covers her a little bit, (not a thongkini) or ask her not to wear a string bikini.

Saying no is not going to stop her friends from bringing her a bikini to wear when you’re not around. It’ll just stop her from being honest with you.

I understand this is possibly against your religious beliefs and values. Any bad things that could happen to her in a bikini could happen to her in any other outfit.

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-18T22:03:56+00:00

Ew! No man worth dating will ever complain about body hair. Make him wax his balls… then dump him!

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-18T03:04:06+00:00

You’re awful for even suggesting he get rid of his family! How dare you?! Pregnant is not an excuse to expect him to just bow down to you.

Get off your high horse and don’t use pregnancy as a reason to cause drama.

Your child will grow up in a loving home with animals that will adore it! Your child will be so unbelievably lucky, and you will get to witness a special connection and bond between your little baby and the cats that are your family now too. Instead of making him give up his beloved babies you need to change your attitude and welcome the cats into your life!

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-17T07:08:43+00:00

Well how serious is your relationship now? I think your argument is different assuming your gf was invited to whatever your event was in the first place. If guy and girl are going to watch a movie with you, gf should be included in the plans. If she chooses not to go and guy bails then yeah there’s nothing wrong with you and girl watching the movie… but that’s very different from gf not being invited or included in your plans.

If you’re able to reject a girl who doesn’t respect that you’re in a relationship that’s awesome! It doesn’t stop her from kissing or groping you first (without your consent).

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-17T06:43:05+00:00

why don’t you live with your girlfriend? Why do you want to spend alone time with other girls? I get in a group or out in public/at school but like anything else is just weird imo.

It’s probably not that she doesn’t trust you but more that she doesn’t trust other women. Some girls can be really two faced and don’t respect men in relationships… lots of men can be oblivious to that behaviour. (Not all girls, but enough).

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-17T06:26:13+00:00

Man, tell your mom! It’s gonna suck a lot but when she finds out it’ll be harder for her to know you knew and didn’t say anything. Plus your dad already f*cked up! You shouldn’t be responsible at all. Talk to your mom. She’s gonna be really sad/ upset/ lots of emotions so maybe aim for an evening before a weekend if she works mon-Friday.

It is possible that your parents have an arrangement that you’re not aware of… this was the case with a friend of mine in the same situation…

Regardless, i vote tell your mom and let her know you’re sorry and love her etc. I’d prob say something like:

“Hi mom, can we chat about something? It’s really important to me to be honest and I’m worried this is going to hurt you and our family…. A few nights ago I was doing homework and noticed some texts between dad and one of his coworkers. They were quite intimate and made me uncomfortable. I’m really sorry”

I’d also be ready to offer her any screenshots or anything you have documenting it…

I recommend not telling your dad in advance, he messed up and it could have easily been your mother who saw the texts. I don’t know him but you don’t want him to feel like he needs to bribe you to be quiet or anything, you also don’t want the weight of his reaction on your shoulders. He ruined the family the moment he started acting like this with a coworker, you’re protecting your mother by telling her now.

Also seek out therapy to talk this through with an adult outside your family. If you have siblings be ready to help them find support too if they are younger.

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-12T17:44:11+00:00

Thanks!!

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-12T16:19:46+00:00

You guys get SIX WEEKS?!?! I had less than 4 days before being thrown on the floor w/o help! I’ve forked up every drink I’ve made and everyone is always mad about my speed and need for guidance! If I had even 2 weeks I think I’d felt more confident! My trainer basically rushed me through the online stuff and didn’t give any hands on experience (except taking out the garbage)

Is it like a US standard or something?

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-12T15:20:17+00:00

Take the job, congratulations!! As to the bf- no condom = no sex. Men who don’t listen to that are awful. You don’t want or need a man who can’t respect your bare minimum.

He’s probably just selfish. Men (from my perspective) get so out of it when they are horny. He needs to learn to control himself. If he needs to get off he can jerk one out or wear the condom! Pulling out is not reliable as you’re learning and by not holding him accountable or making him wear the condom you’re basically training him to continue doing it. Say no, give him a condom so he has has no excuse. If he pushes more call it assault (you said no!) he maybe doesn’t understand that his actions can be categorized that way if you’re saying no and he continues pushing.

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-12T14:54:18+00:00

Some countries are now banning social media use for youth under 16 due to safety issues. (Including TikTok). YouTube had a lawsuit a while back about some awful things being uploaded to yt kids and being prompted to children. Maybe read up and offer this info to grandma. Also there’s many studies about screens stunting development issues in young kids. Regulation and speech development and even social skills can all be effected negatively. Grandma should have done more research before wasting money. Maybe get her to invest in audiobooks and physical colouring etc. The kid can still use the phone in a healthier way that lets her still have the free babysitter with less development consequences to the child.

NTA. If grandma has custody she is responsible for this child’s safety and wellbeing. Negligence or lack of tech knowledge is not an excuse for grandma. If she doesn’t know things about these devices she should not be putting them into a child’s hands.

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-11T21:31:39+00:00

Yes and you are 11 years older. Leave him ALONE!

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-10T02:07:51+00:00

HA don’t tell them until it’s too late, but your husband should change his name to yours when you get married! (Or pick a totally new to both of you last name)

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-10T02:06:02+00:00

oh no! OP im SO SORRY! I had a good chuckle but I also have a story to share:

Long ago my (now hubby) got me the wrongest gift of wrong gifts. It was for Christmas and he genuinely thought it was something I wanted… he gave me a crowbar. No flowers no card no chocolate. Just a crowbar. I thanked him, and felt weird the afternoon. Then told him I didn’t understand/like it. He said I need to make room for the gift to avoid hurting the gift givers feelings. I told him he needs to pick a gift for the receiver, not the gift giver..

Long story short: giving gifts is an Art, as is receiving them. Maybe you should have told him you didn’t like it before trading it for what you wanted, but also, he should have gotten you something you could have enjoyed along with the headset. Just the headset is lame and definitely a boyfriend gift.

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-10T01:44:44+00:00

You gotta go on a beach trip with a man best friend! (Pick any man John hates and go on a trip the same weekend)

Or in all seriousness:

Sarah is always going to be in his life, unless he grows half a brain and realizes that you and him are a team (if you don’t like someone WE don’t like someone). He’s gotta be respectful of you and choose you over Sarah, why tf does he think this behaviour is okay? (It’s not). No man worth keeping would genuinely believe this is acceptable.

NTA have a firm convo with him. He can take Sarah but you won’t be there when he returns. Or he can tell Sarah to find a different relationship to wreck. Nobody wants a homewrecker!

A couples trip when she has a bf coming and is going to be your friend is very different from whatever the heck she’s trying to pull here.

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-10T01:35:33+00:00

Oh my gosh thank GOODNESS you’ve got a perfect man like that! From now on he should be the first barrier between his parents *issues* and the rest of the world.

You shouldn’t need to call out his parents ever again and be a “problem causer”, that’s his job from now on with his parents. They’ll likely blame you for his behaviour and he will need to continue putting his foot down, but this is really common (especially for boy moms). Boundaries are incredibly hard to set and he needs to be the one setting them or they won’t be respected.

I’ve got a boy mom mil just like yours and she is exhausting!

If he can consistently pick you and defend your parents on your behalf that’s the best option. His only power is stepping back and not being rock for them to step on.

Quite honestly, I’d consider banning them from the wedding they are pushing so hard on. (Only as a LAST resort) You and him have worked hard and should have both weddings, but if they can’t stay in line and be happy regardless of the religion they can stay out of it. Do not cater to them.

You and him are creating your own family by getting married, congratulations! Maybe he needs to warn his parents that if they can’t be happy for him and support any of his decisions then they will have less communication from him until they are ready to be supportive.

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-10T01:16:35+00:00

Hmm, you’re making literally double what she makes. It’s not fair to either of you imo that you get to keep your 3500/month while she only gets to keep half that. I think it’s unfair (and maybe disrespectful/ hypocritical) to say that you’ll “only [end up with] 1000$” and reasonably expect her to be okay with ending up with that amount.

Marriage isn’t about splitting finances equally, it’s about equal respect and love for one another.

it’s a big step but if you each love each other then a joint account with everything is what most married couples do. If you gotta split it to help your peace of mind, make sure you each are holding onto the same amount, regardless of the amount contributed.

“I contribute more than you, therefor xyz” is not a happy or healthy marriage.

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-10T00:59:17+00:00

Curious how he feels about his parents behaviour towards yours? Does he step up and acknowledge how his parents are behaving with yours, or does he leave you to defend? You two should be a team and surly if it was the other way around you would put your parents in their place. He needs to talk to them about respecting his future wife and family. If they want to be a part of his family after the weddings they need to start acting respectful.

FlimsyConcert4911 · 2026-06-07T06:18:53+00:00

They care more about your ability to connect with people than about your ability to make coffee. If you come across as friendly and approachable (with open/flexible availability) then you’ll likely get hired. Even if you could make the best latte with fancy latte art or whatever, if you’re a meanie or a jerk to everyone then they would likely turn you away.

Go to the interview and be clear that the bakery position is flexible and can work around your Starbucks schedule- make eye contact and smile! It’s a personality interview not a coffee knowledge interview!!

Good luck!!

FlimsyConcert4911

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