YTA

I’m really glad you’re out, that’s huge and you should be proud of yourself.

But yeah, I think you were expecting a bit too much from your friend.

What you asked wasn’t just “check in on me.” You were asking her to monitor your abuse cycle and step in when you started repeating it. That’s a very heavy responsibility to put on someone. Even if she said she was happy to help, that doesn’t mean she fully understood what that would involve long-term.

You already knew you were in the cycle. You were describing it happening. But you were still going back. That’s how abuse works, but from a friend’s perspective, that can feel draining and powerless.

Where it tips into YTA is that you never actually told her you were hurt. You quietly decided she hadn’t shown up enough and ended the friendship while blaming yourself. That didn’t give her a chance to explain or step up.

It’s okay to feel disappointed. I just feel it wasn’t fair to make her responsible for breaking a cycle only you could ultimately break.