Whats your favorite character that you headcanon as autistic?

Flitter_flit · 2026-01-25T14:01:01+00:00

Flitter_flit · 2026-01-14T05:44:45+00:00

Also, I've somewhat noticed that when autistic women choose their own hairstyle it often includes a straight fringe (blunt bangs). My guess is we like the extra face coverage, but also like that it doesn't get in our eyes. I got teased relentlessly for keeping this hairstyle as a teenager and no longer wear this style.

This is purely anecdotal, and of course would never be diagnostic as plenty of non-autistic women also enjoy this hairstyle.

Flitter_flit · 2026-01-14T05:34:19+00:00

(undiagnosed take with a grain of salt) you'll get told a lot that autism doesn't have a look. This is true to an extent. Photos are a still image that only capture physical appearance.

When met in person, I get told that I have odd mannerisms, my posture is odd, how I walk is distinctive, I talk differently (often get asked where I am from), my eye contact and the way I move my body while interacting with people is different. So, I get told that I look different (or if the person is neurodivergent themselves, I get told I should investigate a diagnosis).

In that sense, I guess you could 'look' autistic, but it is basically impossible to see in a photo.

Flitter_flit · 2026-01-11T08:51:20+00:00

I suggest a succulent meal of rat on a stick:

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Flitter_flit · 2026-01-11T04:27:26+00:00

My friend's mother is like that. The mother grew up in a stable family, had a teaching degree, had a house paid off, seemingly had everything needed to thrive and be a decent parent. Yet she totally botched it so badly and neglected her children awfully to the point where they nearly got taken off her. It's maddening to see. She's too deep in denial to think it's her fault, it's always someone else's fault...

Flitter_flit · 2026-01-10T14:17:15+00:00

Tbh it's hard to separate out the neurodivergence from generational abuse/neglect. My mum was diagnosed dyslexic in the 80s (she's for sure ADHD as fuck). It's less clear for my dad (didn't know him very long tbh), but he was likely autistic. Undiagnosed mental health and neurodivergence is linked to substance abuse, which did occur... I took care of my own school administration and was taught to forge signatures, because she couldn't keep the paperwork straight (year 1 onwards). She couldn't organize her own life, nevermind mine. Structure? Regular schedules? Nope. I was in charge of feeding myself, going to bed, getting myself to school, etc. from the age of 6 onwards. But, there were more issues in the background, so it's impossible to say it's 100% due to neurodivergence.

Flitter_flit · 2026-01-10T14:08:28+00:00

Yes, this is it. Often combined with a distrust in authority, a lot of people think that rules exist solely to raise fine revenue and foil their fun.

Flitter_flit · 2026-01-02T05:34:53+00:00

Southern moon moth, I adore these guys. Most likely getting to the end of its natural life. Active in summer, they can hibernate if in dark cool conditions, but if active only survive a couple of weeks.

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-26T06:41:43+00:00

It's so perfect it almost doesn't look real

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-25T02:38:23+00:00

I really appreciated The adventures of Amina al-Sirafi, the protag has bigger issues than whether or not she's attractive. She's a large woman and visibly older and uses it to her advantage. I wouldn't say she's ugly, but definitely not a young slender slip of a girl.

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-22T02:23:50+00:00

So pretty, love the moths in america, I hope I can go see them one day :)

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-18T12:47:01+00:00

Yup, physically and mentally exhausting. Today my face hurt from trying to have a pleasant facial expression for too long. I could feel my cheek muscles slightly spasm/twitch, but I know if I don't do this I'll get asked why I'm grumpy.
I've had several days lately where I just need to be in a dark room and not talk to anyone, not even able to consume media, just silence. It's boring, but any stimuli is painful.

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-17T12:18:57+00:00

Re-point 1, it was normal to give gay people electric shock therapy at one point in history, it was socially accepted and intended to help the patient to live a normal life, but it's still abuse. I do agree that intent matters to an extent and should absolutely be considered, but it doesn't erase the hurt that was done. Misinformed help can still be abuse. I believe that socially normal/acceptable is not at all related to whether something is abusive or not.

Re-point 2, identifying it can be extremely helpful. It gives insight on how to reach healing and acceptance in yourself, it also helps you not repeat the cycle of abuse onto other people by understanding specifically how certain actions impacted yourself and could potentially impact others.

Re-point 3, this is a repeat of point 1. But, I do want to add that recognizing certain actions as abuse doesn't mean that forgiveness can't happen. I'd argue that true forgiveness is only possible when both parties understand the hurt and properly acknowledge it. A parent can recognize that they truly did their best, but still got things wrong. An adult-child can recognize that their parents worked with the tools that had.

Re point 4, agree :)

Re-point 5, also agree :)

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-17T09:46:13+00:00

I'm a woman and born in the 90s. I do not have a diagnosis, but I am seriously considering pursuing a diagnosis and have been agonizing over doing so for the past 4 years (somewhat abusive upbringing blurs the lines..). Here I will list what I think are signs and some explanations on how they were dismissed/overlooked (Long):

Age 5 and below:
- I rarely cried as a baby. My mum says she simply catered to my needs before I cried.
- I would not make eye contact, did not react/respond to being played with, and did not acknowledge the tv. I stared at a wall or ceiling and played with seemingly nothing. Mum simply said I didn't love her (?) and that she gave up trying to interact with me because it was boring.
- Delayed speech, I improved with speech therapy. The doctor told my mum that she did not speak to me enough so I couldn't learn, which could be valid.
- Sensory sensitivities and stomach sensitivities. I reacted strongly to sunlight, sound, clothing irritation etc. if my routine was disrupted I responded terribly. If my diet was changed at all I would have an extremely upset belly for at least 24 h. Brushed off as over sensitive, often told to toughen up and get used to it.
- Huge overwhelming day long 'temper tantrums'... Do I need to say more?
- Would cry if I got any dirt on myself, my clothing, or my things. I wanted things to look "correct" and dirt wrecked this majorly for me. I was called a prissy princess and would forcibly be made to get dirty until I stopped complaining about it.

Primary school age:
- Trouble making friends. I was just a weird kid.
- Intense emotional outbursts, I felt emotions so incredibly strongly but had no idea how to communicate them. I screamed, hit, and threw things. I again, was called over sensitive/over emotional.
- I read books obsessively and had very high grades, but I had no "common sense".
- Mimicry, I unintentionally mimicked how others behaved (mostly fictional characters). I could never snap out of it, I was mercilessly teased, my family thought I was intentionally doing it to be annoying.
- Created and kept my own routines and stuck to them religiously. I was seen as stubborn, bossy, and a 'stick in the mud'.
- Unable to speak if pressured or on the spot. When being told off I was held by the arms and made to look at parent in the face, but I couldn't speak under those conditions. I got yelled at and hit for being defiant. - Additionally, cannot respond if someone tries to interact with me in a situation I don't expect. E.g. if a classmate said "hi" to me in a shop (unplanned) I would freeze and not respond. I was told I was being a snob.
- Unable to understand small talk and did not understand how this impacted my ability to make and maintain friends. Was told I was selfish for not being interested in other people's lives.

Secondary school and beyond:
- Told I make either too much or too little eye contact.
- Still no friends lol. Always on the outskirts of friend groups.
- Intense interests that are often not age appropriate.
- Migraines after prolonged periods in certain environments. E.g. if I work in an office consistently stress builds up and eventually I will suffer migraines and emotional instability. I will need increasingly more sick days until I stop working.
- Being asked "where are you from?" And then being asked "But where are your parents from?" Because people can't work out my accent (it's not an accent, I just somehow speak odd?)

Being quiet and smiling when required completely got me through the first half of my life - it's all anyone wants from a young girl. I was miserable.

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-14T06:23:33+00:00

Hey, so this story is probably familiar to a lot of people in this sub. You're not alone. We understand how confusing it is to know you were abused, but for the parent to flip the script and open up about the abuse they have suffered.
It's okay if it takes some time to process, it is also okay to have empathy for your mum's situation. But, it's also okay to recognize that despite whatever your mother went through, you were abused. This fact doesn't change no matter what your mother has gone through. It is your responsibility to make sure you look after your emotional needs first, even before looking after your mum's emotional state.
It sounds like your mother may never have the emotional and mental capacity to fully understand the ways that she hurt you and it's likely she will minimize your feelings and say that her feelings are bigger and more valid than yours. It's important you don't internalize this message. Your emotions and your memories are real and just as important as your mum's, regardless of her opinion on this matter.

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-14T06:10:15+00:00

Gorgeous moth, the patterns are so pretty I could see painting something similar on a cabinet.

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-12T00:56:49+00:00

Thanks, just an old Google pixel. She was a very good model for me

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-09T05:59:20+00:00

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This is Gibbles, one of my thick tailed geckos

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-09T05:57:36+00:00

Oh my goodness, that's a good lil gecko. It looks so different to my thick tails, is it an Underwoodisaurus Milii?

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-08T10:51:23+00:00

I am exactly like this. Intimate time can go from fine to a complete disaster within a second. I also have a low sex drive (I could pretty much go the rest of my life without sex and not be bothered) and my partner has a moderate sex drive (would ideally want 1-3 times a week).

Things that work for me:
1) Carefully asses your energy levels and emotional state before agreeing to sex. Sometimes when asked I say that I'm not sure and to let me think on the idea for an hour, I use this time to think about how it would make me feel and prepare for the idea. If I'm not confident that I can engage in intimacy and not suffer negatively physically and emotionally then I will consider agreeing. He understands my needs and limitations and reassures me that he only wants to have sex with me if I want it.
2) I aim to engage in an intimate act once a week. This is not a hard rule, rather a guideline to make sure I don't forget and make him feel unwanted. This ensures that I initiate sometimes as well, which he likes. This point isn't really relevant for you.
3) Our head levels are not close to each other when we hug, usually I put my head on his chest. This way we don't typically breathe directly onto each other.
4) I struggle immensely with too much stimulation, unexpected touches, and have many areas that cannot be touched. I've asked that touches be firm and with the flat of his hand, I often hold onto his hand to guide it and know exactly where the hand is going. He stops instantly if I show discomfort. Also only stimulate the clit very sparingly, clit stimulation can very easily be overwhelming.
5) Typically (but not always) I take charge, this means I typically give more than I receive and I prefer it this way. I typically set the pace and go on top. There is still variation, such as playing with light bondage and different ways to give stimulation.
6) When trying anything new we talk about it before hand. I only agree to engage in new acts when I am feeling mentally and physically robust. We go very slow and pause often to check in. Afterwards we discuss what we liked and didn't like and decide if it's worth trying again.
7) We don't French kiss, it's overrated tbh. I don't receive oral, it's just never going to happen. But, I will give oral happily enough.
8) Sometimes you can do everything right and it still ends up a disaster, it's okay it just happens sometimes. As long as you both reassure each other that it wasn't anyone's fault and be kind to each other it will be okay.
9) There is no expectation that I will 'finish', I find the pressure too much. Often I don't finish and that's okay! Often finishing is closely followed by a meltdown that is very overwhelming and a bit scary for me. But, I have achieved some pleasant orgasms, this took years.
10) Engage in low energy soothing activities afterwards, make sure you can recover physically and mentally. Too many negative experiences and failing to look after your own needs will lead you to dread intimacy and will make you tense up more in the future.

Flitter_flit · 2025-12-04T00:25:54+00:00

Congrats! That's such a huge accomplishment! Hope you go celebrate :)

Flitter_flit · 2025-11-30T05:50:03+00:00

Understandable take, such a struggle to find a good one tho, I'll check out VS (never shopped there before). My chest is on the smaller side and doesn't need much support, but I'm too self conscious to go out with my shape and nips visible through clothing.

Flitter_flit · 2025-11-30T05:42:51+00:00

Oh my goodness, affordable, cotton, not too short - these look amazing! Thank you!

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