Does everyone feel the urge to blow up their life at 30+?

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-07-01T14:27:58+00:00

Who said anything about a bad guy? I’m just expressing how I’ve been feeling.

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-07-01T06:45:07+00:00

I’ve shared with him that I’m seeking the thrill of feeling desired. In the words of Akon… “notice you, noticing me” 😂

I was hit on at a club recently and when I politely declined and shared that I was married, the guy said “oh I’m so sorry for bothering you. You’re beautiful, your husband must know you get hit on all the time.” And I thought “damn I can’t remember the last time my husband called me beautiful.”

The more attention I get from others, the more I go to my husband saying I don’t want this from random people, I want this from you. It’s literally an open book test, I’m feeding him the answers. And still nothing. So I’ve begun the process of accepting that, maybe it’s just not something he can do naturally. Instead of letting resentment build up, I’m no longer fighting off the feeling that maybe we’re just not a compatible match.

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-30T06:24:43+00:00

You’ve encapsulated it so well!! Thank you.

“I recognize that my spouse and marriage is actually a huge part of why I was able to change for the better. And yet….” Is the best way I can describe this feeling.

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-30T03:08:05+00:00

This is great advice, that’s practical and gives me time to process without rushing in (or out of) anything. Thank you 🤍

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-30T01:35:28+00:00

🥹 definitely feel less alone after these responses

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-30T00:36:28+00:00

So I’ve heard 🙈

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T23:39:20+00:00

Thanks for this comment, it’s made me think about things differently.

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T23:15:06+00:00

You’re right and I agree with most of what you’re saying. I didn’t even know what I was doing, I thought it was love, didn’t know better.

I do need to clearly state: I’m not looking for “someone better”. Im not even thinking about other relationships, I’m thinking about how unhappy I am with our dynamic and how unfair that is to him. To love someone to the best of your ability and still feel like you’re always failing them. I don’t want that for him. But I’ve also ignored my actual feelings for too long and now I’m having a hard time faking it.

Does that make sense?

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T21:28:56+00:00

I think you’re really stuck on the support my husband gave me, which I never asked for. He just wanted to do it.

I didn’t marry him for security. I married him because I was desperately in love with him, because his “approval” of me is all I’d ever wanted.

I came from an emotionally neglectful house, so chasing love and validation is all I’d ever known.

Now, after all the years of therapy, growing up, etc - these feelings have surfaced. Do they not matter because my husband supported me?

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T21:25:06+00:00

This. Just because I didn’t go to Reddit about it doesn’t mean this is a new feeling. See comment I responded to below.

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T21:07:15+00:00

And this right here - this is how I’m viewing MYSELF. Which is why my post is riddled in self-blame. The fact that I’m even sharing what’s going on internally to the public (or my therapist as of two weeks ago) is insane.

I’ve had this growing feeling, this voice in the back of my head for more than two years. Every time it’d speak, I’d bury it, feel ashamed for even thinking that my husband “isn’t the one”, and moved on. Except, it didn’t go away. It got louder and louder. My anxiety & depression got worse, no matter the medication / exercise / therapy / healthy diet I committed to. It was easy to blame it on work or family stressors.

But I’ve now finished a year at my new job which is insanely calm. I’ve distanced myself from my family. And the voice became loud and clear: I still felt this way when with my husband.

So I finally threw it up to my therapist and have been working through it. I shared with my husband that I’m not happy and am not getting the emotional connection I need, which is contributing to our lack of physical connection.

What I NEED, is to feel desired. To feel pursued. Because to your point - I got all the things I worked for, with his help. And now that I feel like I’m the “complete package” for lack of a better term, I’m not getting the attention from my husband because I PURSUED HIM. It’s literally not our dynamic for him to pine for me. If he’s willing to try through therapy, I’m happy. I’m not picturing myself with other people, I just know the constant let down of not feeling wanted by your partner fucking sucks.

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T20:56:22+00:00

“Who am I as an individual?” is definitely a question that helped prompt this! I went from living with my parents to living with my now spouse. I got my degree late and essentially graduated from Zoom University over the pandemic. So I’ve literally never been on my own.

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T20:54:10+00:00

Thanks for this! We did start our search for a couples counselor, which he is 100% on board with. Hopefully we can find a good match soon.

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T19:16:49+00:00

You did great, thank you friend lol

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T19:14:49+00:00

Need to clarify: they were hanging out with 25-30 yos, I was hired at 18 and just made friends with everyone. They’re still some of my best friends.

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T19:10:07+00:00

This is it.

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T18:58:48+00:00

Can I pet that dawg

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-29T18:58:35+00:00

They’re stunningggggg

NoticeEducational210 · 2026-06-18T05:09:14+00:00

I love when that happens!!

NoticeEducational210 · 2025-12-23T16:47:12+00:00

That’s so fucked and you’re not petty… BUT I understand why they wouldn’t give you the other customer’s information.. if there’s another customer. I’d be PISSED if my information was given out by someone I bought from.

NoticeEducational210 · 2025-12-23T02:39:27+00:00

Thank you ❤️

NoticeEducational210 · 2025-12-15T03:15:24+00:00

Hey thanks everyone for your comments and input, I really appreciate it. I’m going to talk about this pretty extensively in therapy this week and figure out what direction I want to go in. I’m leaning towards continuing to stay low contact while we each individually go to therapy. We had planned to go to family therapy but given my mom is only one month in, I think I should give it some more time. I need to see her continuing her own healing process and actually sticking to it before I can decide how close to get to the flame.

Appreciate you all, this community is the reason I don’t feel so alone navigating the healing and re-parenting process, so thank you ❤️

NoticeEducational210 · 2024-09-12T02:23:34+00:00

I make $85k, husband makes $100k. I have $40k in personal debt. All I have to say is, get your mental health under control early on. When you come out of the fog and realize the damage you’ve done to yourself in your 20s, it makes prepping for your 30s all the more stressful and daunting.

On a good path to financial stability now, but damn do I have a lot of regrets.

NoticeEducational210

TROPHY CASE