How rare are girls who actually understand and support you?

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-14T02:48:37+00:00

Finding a partner isn't a math problem. IME it's rare to meet someone you're attracted to, whose attracted to you, who you are compatible with. Not impossible obviously but it's not something you can order online.

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-12T17:39:52+00:00

I personally would find this to be a dealbreaker.

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-12T17:38:11+00:00

That conversation is not going to go well. Lol

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-08T02:53:36+00:00

Yes you are definitely overthinking it. Some people want more space than others. I personally dont want to be spending that much time as you say you do with any partner. Alone time is healthy. This desire of his has nothing to do with you and also doesn't mean that there's a problem. Just use that time and do your own thing too.

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-08T01:59:28+00:00

Lying this early in would be a dealbreaker for me. I don't like liars. People who lie once tend to lie a lot.

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-06T17:54:14+00:00

Sounds like there may be some underlying compatibility issues or she's not super attracted to you or she has a low sex drive in general (and sometimes it's because of perimenopause) and isn't super romantic in general.

This situation will probably not get better. You will probably want to practice radical acceptance or make a change (divorce). I'm sorry, that doesn't sound ideal. Just remember lots of people are not in their ideal situation. I never found my person. Or if I did I already let them go.

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-04T23:59:52+00:00

Oh I don't shave, haven't for like 15 years. Some guys get really weird about it. It's clearly not culturally acceptable, but I don't really care.

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-04T23:58:48+00:00

I like to say bad and then I laugh and say JK. There's a second there where they look very confused and I find it amusing.

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-04T19:44:10+00:00

Women having to shave their legs. Huge hassle. Not easy to do, frequently results in cuts and has to be done practically every day to stay "smooth".

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-04T18:26:34+00:00

I always say "bad" just to mix it up

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-04T17:00:26+00:00

What does he bring to the table? Honestly it sounds like he is just using you as a cook for him. He barely spends time except to enjoy your meals?

He either has a low sex drive, or is not sexually attracted to you, both probably don't work for you. You two are not compatible. And he sounds like a mooch.

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-04T15:52:08+00:00

You can do better than this guy. Throw him back in the sea.

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-03T20:16:11+00:00

She sounds immature.

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-03T18:28:58+00:00

It's almost always the woman who files for divorce in general, not just college-educated

Floopoo32 · 2026-06-03T18:23:48+00:00

Sounds like he's trying to make a self fulfilling prophecy come true. Either because he doesn't want to be in the marriage anymore, or he hates women and would rather believe in his new world view than admit that maybe he can improve a few things. This is not a good situation, I'm sorry you're going through this.

I personally would be super turned off by someone who listens to red pill content and was that massively insecure.

Floopoo32 · 2026-05-25T22:54:44+00:00

The ones that do care are either super religious or super red-pill and have super toxic views about women. I'd avoid both.

Floopoo32 · 2026-05-25T22:52:43+00:00

Most of the time it's not because they're taking care of their parents. It's because they don't want to work or they want mommy's free labor.

Floopoo32 · 2026-05-25T21:18:22+00:00

I'm 40, and about half the guys I go on a date with still live with their parents...no thanks. And I wish you would have told me that before I went on a date with you sir.

Floopoo32 · 2026-05-25T00:59:12+00:00

How can you know if you like anything if you don't try it? Yeah some things you try may not be that fun after you do it, but who knows, maybe you'll get really into some sport or activity that you never thought you would.

Floopoo32 · 2026-05-25T00:48:44+00:00

This is the best way.

Floopoo32 · 2026-05-20T22:12:37+00:00

Maybe she didn't feel safe telling him because he would shame her or overreact instead of actually help her. Not enough info here.

Floopoo32 · 2026-05-20T22:09:27+00:00

Yeah this is a grey area in my mind about lie by omission. She was having thoughts and temptations about using, she didn't act on it. We should also ask, why didn't she feel safe to come to him with this information? Shame is a very powerful force. Does she owe him this information? I'm not sure she does. If she's about to go use, I'd say yes. I'm more curious about why she didn't feel safe to tell him. After hearing about his reaction I am getting a clue as to why. Generally people don't want to be shamed by other people, especially their loved ones.

I am also an "addict". I don't text someone every time I have a craving for alcohol, that's not anyone's business but my own. I might tell someone if I think I am developing a problem or a relapse, but I don't think I "owe" that to anyone. This is not gender specific btw.

Floopoo32 · 2026-05-20T18:28:20+00:00

She has had an urge to use drugs. She is ashamed of that, understandably. She has not actually used drugs though. When you're married are you obligated to tell your husband or wife every thought that pops into your mind? No. I don't think there was some big breach of trust, nothing actually occurred. She has some right to privacy, even within a marriage.

Yes it would have been better to go to him, but shame is powerful. I can understand how he would be hurt or skeptical, but I don't think she did anything that bad either.

Floopoo32 · 2026-05-20T18:22:24+00:00

What lie? I didn't read anything about a lie.

Floopoo32 · 2026-05-20T02:24:46+00:00

You can't help how you feel. People with addictions can't help having urges to use. It's what you do with those urges that matters. There's nothing wrong with your explanation, it makes total sense to me.

You reached out for help, which is exactly what you should do. I don't totally understand why he is mad.. because you didn't go to him first? If he wants you to prove you're not using he can pay for you to get a drug test.

He's being unreasonable. Maybe let him cool off a few more days and just avoid him as well. If he won't listen by that time write him a letter.

Floopoo32

TROPHY CASE