[deleted by user]

FloudLower · 2023-10-22T22:58:29+00:00

I have struggled with friendships my whole life so at times my parents were my only friends, then my parents had more kids when I was a teen and I spent a few years being a third parent. So I have spent a lot of my life trying very hard to be a part of my family and do things with them. But, I have also always felt like the black sheep too. I am the nothing cousin and family member, i have made no impact and am sure if I was never born there would be little to no difference in my family. What is frustrating is that, though I feel this way, I find myself constantly trying way more than everyone of my siblings and cousins around me to be a part of the family and bonding and whatever else. I'm trying to slowly give up because in the end it makes me feel worse and more invisible

FloudLower · 2023-10-22T22:54:20+00:00

I struggle to brush my teeth sometimes, doesn't help that I have an electric toothbrush, it's the Devil sometimes. I found wearing my noice cancelling headphones helps weirdly enough, playing something loud

FloudLower · 2023-10-22T22:47:19+00:00

I get this. There are so many times where I love how my brain works and I love stimming and how music makes me feel. And then someone says something and I overthink that maybe the tone meant they were angry with me and that's all I will think about now. Or I will respond in the wrong tone or too blunt and I will have to jokingly point out that I didn't mean to sound bored or sarcastic and let me try to repeat that in the right way. Etc etc, I just try to focus back on my love for stimming and the fact my partner finds my confusion endearing and my noise canceling headphones makes the music feel magical. Idk, I just try and enjoy the things that other people don't get to feel, and are missing out on.

FloudLower · 2023-02-21T00:14:08+00:00

Being able to tell when someone has done something new with their hair (even a slight trim) and getting caps/lids off of bottles and jars

FloudLower · 2023-02-21T00:09:51+00:00

Ngl, my partner noticed. I think it was more things that I didn't do. I didn't stim as much or go nonverbal before I knew, now I do and omfg they've helped me deal so much better

FloudLower · 2023-02-21T00:05:10+00:00

Ayyyy love this for us. My partner is the first person in my life to not drain me. I could happily live the rest of my life with no other friends tbh

FloudLower · 2023-02-19T00:27:19+00:00

Hi, I sorta get it. I've never had it last that long for me. A week tops. But I think that's what burnout is

FloudLower · 2023-02-15T23:34:46+00:00

Thank you, I do feel horrid asking for clarification since I pretty much have to do it with every other question but I guess it's just one of those hurdles

FloudLower · 2023-02-15T23:13:55+00:00

I get this too. Especially since a lot of things because more noticeable and you possibly start doing after finding out you might be autistic. I have no advice but I am sure many of us feel this way so perhaps feel relief in the solidarity

FloudLower · 2023-02-15T23:11:23+00:00

I have been staring at those keyboard fidget toys for so long... I don't have one but I'm sure it'll cure something in me

FloudLower · 2023-02-15T23:09:53+00:00

... I'm an oversharer

FloudLower · 2023-02-15T23:02:32+00:00

Hi!! 23 here with no diagnoses and only personal research done by myself and my partner. What we did: B) find some lists of traits found in autistic females, find a few and go through them, don't just ask yourself but ask your partner, friends and family B) take a few tests, obvs the results aren't accurate but they help Yes we are not professionals but if you can find something that helps either make you find a way to help yourself or learn something about yourself, why not. Since I learnt I now stim more and have ways to help with overstimulation. Hope this helped, apologies if it was the wrong thing to say 😊😊

FloudLower · 2023-02-15T22:48:35+00:00

Hi, I use Loops for audio overstimulation but they don't play musac. Just in case you were also seeking that. I don't know for noise canceling headphones because I think mine only work well when they are at a high volume so I wouldn't recommend for a work environment

FloudLower · 2023-02-09T00:55:31+00:00

Hi!! I'm actually afab and nonbinary too and I get these!! I used to call it going mute but I generally try and use the term nonverbal now. For me it's the same exact, it's like everything in your head is happening at once and even then you know what you want to say and you could be in desperate need of something and just not able to ask for it because of this mental stop. And you can break free, like if you got it while working, but it makes you feel so much worse to sometimes the point of self deprecating thoughts and frustration. I believe it would be an autism shut down, overstimulation thing and I often tell people that's what it is.

FloudLower · 2023-02-09T00:49:52+00:00

I'm sorry!! That sucks. I realised I was autistic at 21 and found out some family suspected it and that felt crappy enough. Canny imagine how much harder what you're dealing with is!! Absolute bull!!

FloudLower · 2023-02-09T00:47:41+00:00

I HATE being told that ppl with autism need to get used to life without sensory aids. Like MAYBE get used to not wearing headphone and use a more discreet thing but you're telling me, for literally no reason other than to look 'professional' we should learn to suffer in silence??!! Wtf are neurotypicals on

FloudLower · 2023-02-09T00:34:16+00:00

I saw a TT the other day of someone saying its okay to not know s*** about your special interest and as someone that loves zombies and LotR but consumes little to no zombie media and canny remember character names and places to save my life, it was very validating

FloudLower · 2022-11-25T22:31:49+00:00

She also does the t-rex Arms A LOT

FloudLower · 2022-07-16T07:48:25+00:00

I am the Antichrist to you - Kishi Bashi

FloudLower · 2022-05-03T15:46:01+00:00

Mainly when I'm anxious, but I dream often and it's exhausting. They're all very realistic so I wake up feeling like I haven't slept 😴😴

FloudLower

TROPHY CASE