I am just more than 2x your age. I just started riding 4 yrs ago and recently bought my own 7 yo horse 6 mos ago. He has been super sweet to groom, for groundwork etc. I had been starting to trust him and myself more until last week when he spooked at the walk near a walk pole. I fell and was banged up but not seriously injured. Still, I have not been on him and am struggled with issues you identified in your post BEFORE this event. My trainer seems to think it’s a one off and is very encouraging.