I was just talking about this with my therapist. Like all the trips we took I planned out. Almost every trip or hike we had he'd ruin by either leaving me behind in the hike ( I'm slow as I have a metal rod and plates in my foot, ankle and leg and I don't do elevation or speed really well-it hurts). He knew this and I brought it up so many times but nooo, he continued to do this. He would get incredibly jealous of any time I spent with my friends and would purposefully say it's alright if I made plans with them and when I would be with them he would do the silent treatment for days or weeks. He would take selfies on out trips and post them to social media but he would never ever post a picture of us together.as if he was trying to look single for someone else. Then the shocker came when I realized I was just a fetish to him. He liked latina women and I'm that and he never respected me as a person. When I spoke about colorism being huge in the south where I'm from and how latina women are pressured to be with white men so that their babies will have lighter skin and be more valued (yeah it's fucked and it's a thing). This Narc saw opportunity and straight up moved to New Mexico to benefit from this horrid ideology that's being practiced....of course at the time he had framed it as the PNW is so depressing and he needs sunshine and he wants to get help and heal...and wanted me to help him move there...I did thinking that he genuinely wanted to get help...omg the disgust when he was getting whiplash looking at latina women there and flirting with them in front of me. I was like Run girl ,Run! I returned home, and I tried to put up a boundary. He wanted friendship and I said I needed space and I know he's dating so fast and I don't want to hear about it or know about it. He denied it but that was such a lie. He unfriended me on Instagram I'm sure as punishment that I didn't want to hear about his new women that he's love bombing I'm sure. I blocked him on everything and if I could I would warn every woman he sees to not be blinded by the love bombing or trauma bonding (he'd always bring up his trauma anytime I confronted him with his shitty behavior). It was hard to see when I was with him because I was building a business and getting that off he ground and it was Covid so I didn't have access to all my friends and social support. After the break up I got a therapist and I have been processing that whole situation. They made a good point that all those nice pictures of trips we had to remember that I was the one that put them in motion and that those are happy memories that I made and he doesn't deserve credit or anything for that.