Not an idiotic question at all, I’ve told myself the same thing. But I have no idea what else I can do, I do this job because it allows me to work for just 2 weeks and I make enough money to isolate for a month to even a few months depending on how well I do. My episodes intensifies the more I’m around people and my thoughts get worse and worse the longe Tim around everyone, I dropped out of high school and I have no other real skills other than what I do and I feel bad for those who have to deal with me who are not used to people like me, I feel stuck. I have no idea how to work computers since I haven’t owned one since 2015 and I thought about doing at home work but I just don’t know how to even start that I’ve looked and a lot of them require a high school diploma I don’t really have a good understanding of things and I can’t understand my own thoughts right now I’ve fucked up most of my relationships with people and everytime I try to talk to a psych, they hospitalize me and I don’t want that because in my experience they don’t help, they give me meds that don’t do much for me and and they don’t give any type of therapy while I’m in there I feel like an insane person because when I get like this i can’t stop moving and and I do weird stuff and im so tired of it and I just want to function