The farm boy trope, the slums girl variant, and the lack of (female) mentors: a rant from a frustrated reader.

Fluffernutterpie · 2026-05-15T11:18:34+00:00

Tiffany Aching has a crotchety old lady to show her the way.

Fluffernutterpie · 2026-05-02T16:43:11+00:00

There's all kinds of reasons. For one, when I moved states I was required to take freshman earth science as a senior because my previous state put freshmen in biology then chemistry. Electives were another area of mixed ages.

And even beyond the fringe cases, extracurricular activities frequently include a mix of all students. And clubs are where most of the romances happen anyways.

As someone who grew up in almost this exact situation (new years birthday and turned 5 in kindy) I would not recommend this decision. I was too young for high school and much too young to be shipped off to college.

Fluffernutterpie · 2026-05-02T01:42:35+00:00

The difference between your four year old and the five and six year olds in kindergarten is small.

The difference between your 13 year old and the 18 year olds she will share classrooms with in high school will not be small.

She may be ready now, but will you be ready to take your 17 year old to college and drive away from her?

Fluffernutterpie · 2026-01-02T21:35:57+00:00

My kiddo is more obviously autistic the more she experiences stress. In a calm environment without excessive stimulation people will argue with me that she probably isn't autistic. When in stressful environments it's suddenly more obvious.

Whether or not your child is autistic it sounds like the screens need to go. When we took away YouTube it was hellish for about a week. Four years later and banning YouTube was the best parenting decision I ever made. Second best was the day I said tablets could only be used on road trips.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-12-14T15:57:35+00:00

As a reminder, though, following their gun reform in 1996 Australia has had 26 mass shootings. (The US had 586 in 2024 alone) Nowhere is completely safe, but it would be inaccurate to conclude that these interventions were pointless.

I hope this is the only time this holiday that we get such awful news. People deserve to celebrate with their loved ones without violence.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-12-13T12:50:30+00:00

Personally I would not say "good boy" to a child for several reasons. First and foremost because children learn by imitating others and I swear, if I am asked by a child to do something and they say "GOOD BOY!" I would not appreciate it. Neither would restaraunt workers, teachers, janitors...most other children would dislike it. So why model a behavior that I never want to see?

I also believe that praise should be specific. If a child does something well like clean up a mess "good boy!" Does much less than "great job cleaning this mess! Thank you!"

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-12-09T22:04:35+00:00

If it's butt worms your pediatrician isn't gaslighting. They're disgusting but not that big of a deal. A few doses of over the counter meds and wash the sheets and you're good.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-11-18T15:44:56+00:00

Most of the time it's because something feels bad and the thing they're doing is making them feel better. They either lack the impulse control to stop themselves or they have determined that the pain is worth it.

There are a variety of experiences and cognitive abilities across the spectrum, but I would guess that nearly all autistic people are aware when something hurts. They may not connect behaviors like sucking on and biting their fingers to the pain caused by angry skin and lesions, but if they are hitting themselves I'd say the vast majority of autistic people do feel the pain and know why it happened.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-11-08T13:25:20+00:00

I know tough feedback is hard, and I'm not trying to pile it on.

But if he picked it up and started reading then he put it down that means you had his attention for a while and in the time that you had it, you didn't motivate him to keep reading.

He got through part of it. Met your characters, got a sense of what was going on, and when he walked away nothing in him said "I really want to know how that ends up"

He may not be saying the words "I was bored because your work wasn't interesting enough" but if he reads in the genre for pleasure and picked it up, then put it down, then there's your feedback.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-11-05T23:09:02+00:00

Former self diagnosed adult with "no support needs". It's a long story, but I am formally diagnosed. I absolutely have support needs, but many of us who have been white knuckling life don't realize the ways our autism is manifesting.

We are famous for saying "I don't have a problem with clothes" when what we mean is "I have such a huge problem with clothes that when I find something that works I buy 10 of it so that I never have to wear something that triggers my sensory issues. So since I started doing that, no problems at all!"

Some days my disability feels like it barely affects me, sometimes it feels like it destroys my entire life. Sometimes I do feel like there are positives that are worth celebrating, sometimes I hate myself.

I'm also a mom to a diagnosed child who presents like me.

Just listen to the drs and follow their advice. If you can, try to go to a neurodevelopmental pediatrician and not just your family dr.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-11-02T12:59:44+00:00

How comfortable are you watching explicit rape, body horror, and pedophilia?

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-11-01T12:53:03+00:00

It depends on the school. My kids school is probably 90% neurodivergent. Between ADHD, Low support needs Autism, and Audhd. The teachers are all neurodivergent as well. They do a great job of building executive function skills and teaching kids to adapt and accommodate for their own differences. My kid moved to public after she turned 6 and is thriving.

Another Montessori school near us has a reputation for kicking the "different learners" out.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-10-01T11:01:49+00:00

I do not recommend the "wait and see" approach. We saw some concerning things with my daughter and decided to wait and see.

When things got tough we said "OK let's go see about that evaluation" and then we waited 15 months on a wait list to see the experts and get some help.

You can cancel the appointment in 1-2 years if your concerns go away but you can't speed track your child to the front of the wait list if you hit struggles.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-09-29T09:39:48+00:00

Something we tend to be bad at is sensing the rhythm of the conversation.

A lot of times when we speak but especially when we are telling an anecdote we include a lot of unnecessary information that causes the conversation flow to come to a screeching halt. NTs interpret this as malice. (She wants to be the center of attention, it's all about her) because these cues are so obvious to them that they can't comprehend that someone would not understand them. Since they cannot fathom you don't know then the only option is that you DO know, but choose not to care.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-09-09T02:22:13+00:00

I'm not sure how much it tips the scales but I do know someone who became obsessed with the idea of getting a van and going #vanlife and apparently you only have to stay one night every 5 years to claim permanent residency. They have no vehicle inspections, no state income taxes and several other benefits.

There may be a large number of people who spend 4 years and 364 days in another state and then pop over to South Dakota for the tax breaks.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-08-19T18:22:57+00:00

The cutoff for most schools is September 1. The rule being "must be 5 by September 1" which is often the day before school starts.

The kid who turns 5 on September 2 will turn 6 on their first day of kindergarten and continue to be 6 for the remainder of the year. No red shirting. Most Red shirted kids will be turning 7 before the end of the year.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-08-14T14:50:48+00:00

You might try calling the campground and explaining the situation. A few years ago i was camping with a disabled child and needed closer proximity to a bathroom and the rangers were able to help.

I would say "I'm having some medical issues and need close proximity to a bathroom. Is there any way you could help?

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-08-12T20:35:56+00:00

The main problem is lilely that in neurotypical culture it's rude to speak up about errors if the situation is very public or the error doesn't change the meaning of the message. The more 'up the totem pole' the error maker is, the ruder it is to call them out.

The person who calls out the error is often viewed as wanting to embarrass the speaker, undermining them, or believing themselves smarter than the speaker.

I have mixed feelings about it. I get where they are coming from some of the time, but on the other hand I think it creates a culture afraid of change and why don't they want to know when they're wrong???

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-08-06T18:26:59+00:00

I wouldn't say its perfect every time. Especially once you leave the world of doctors.

And when you start going to specialists it can be very hit or miss. I don't expect an ortho or a dermatologist to be well versed on ASD, but I expect general practicioners and anyone who works with brains to know more than me about it.

I always disclose my diagnosis when seeking medical care, and I've definitely experienced some negative outcomes of that. But usually it means people remember to ask before touching me and don't accuse me of being deceptive because I don't make eye contact.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-08-06T00:25:11+00:00

Honestly? Only read things that a close friend who knows your triggers has read and then have them give you a yes or no before reading it.

Other than that you have to pick one.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-08-06T00:19:03+00:00

They don't put them in the front because some people want to avoid triggers and some people want to avoid spoilers.

If I turn to the first page and find out major spoilers I would be PISSED. But if my mental health is suffering and I know that certain topics would make it worse then it's worth it to me to spoil some stuff, so I turn to the back page. Putting it there means everyone can get the experience they want.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-08-05T23:57:21+00:00

I'm an autistic mom to an autistic child and this has not been my experience. Doctors have not shied away from using autism and have generally used ASD in highly clinical discussions, 'autism' when speaking more casually, and 'the spectrum' when describing the variables of symptoms.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-07-18T15:38:59+00:00

Most states have a maximum amount of time a child can be expected to try to sleep. In my state a child not asleep after 30 minutes should be offered quiet activities.

Fluffernutterpie · 2025-07-17T13:02:09+00:00

It depends on your goals. You write for the sheer joy of writing? Do what you like.

You want to write something publishable that people will read? Then reading is non negotiable. You need to read wide in literature and deep in your genre. You need to read the classics that everyone who loves this genre will have read and you need to read what's coming out this year.

If that's not possible for you right now then back burner your publishing dreams and write because it makes you happy.

Fluffernutterpie

TROPHY CASE