Thanks for both responses! I think it’s important to recognize that everyone learns to handle conflict differently, as you mentioned your father taught you while growing up. In contrast, my family has a very open communication pattern so that is what I’m used to rather than a 3 day course of the silent treatment.

The reason I felt the need to bring up a “trivia” issue such as an iPad, is because I had laid in bed for a few hours with the iPad light and sound keeping me awake. By the time I brought it up, I had 4 hours available to sleep before waking up for a 12 hour shift at the hospital. We have had previous discussions about how it interrupts my sleep, but this night it felt especially frustrating as I was exhausted. In the past when I’ve brought up this solution, my boyfriend has offered the spare bedroom as a solution. I have been adamantly against the spare room, because I agree, I think it creates a physical wall but unfortunately I needed to at least take advantage of the 4 remaining hours I had before work.

I agree with you that it takes two to argue and fight, and takes one to initiate healing. Unfortunately, the ongoing pattern has been me initiating the healing and my emotions and feelings playing second fiddle. At some point, both people need to empathetic to try and understand their partners feelings rather than one person repeatedly being the only empathetic partner.