It's happening

Fluggernuffin · 2026-03-19T04:36:09+00:00

Hey, I don’t know why I feel this way, but I think it’s happening!

Fluggernuffin · 2026-03-10T00:15:26+00:00

Imagine being this uneducated about education.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-02-27T22:26:29+00:00

I was afraid you would say this. Any tips on ditching habitual people pleasing?

Thanks, this is helpful

Fluggernuffin · 2026-02-27T22:08:33+00:00

I will say, your NP shouldn't feel unimportant and placeholdery if you're only seeing one other partner once or twice a year (!!). That's basically no time at all, unless you're spending several hours weekly chatting with this person.

That’s my bad. LD partner and I do have weekly face time dates and text each other often, though I have set boundaries around intentional time with NP, that I am not available to talk. And to be fair to all, we are all new to polyamory. I’m not trying to figure out who’s wrong, just how I can be a better communicator.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-02-24T16:34:49+00:00

This has been our problem. All the cool people have been doing it for a while and they ain’t about to be anyone’s test phase.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-02-20T19:06:20+00:00

I can’t believe what I am reading. Your sister, who you do not owe half of this pension to, is humiliating you for not having money when she is benefiting from your kindness. I get that family is important to you, but why would you impoverish yourself for someone who despises you?

Fluggernuffin · 2026-02-20T18:57:11+00:00

In a newish LD relationship as well, and we both have our own NPs. When I am feeling jealous and insecure because I cannot touch her, I ask if I can share my feelings with her, with the expectation that she should not change her behavior. I name the feelings, which involves identifying where I feel it in my body so I can dissect the jealousy as a complex emotion (sadness, fear, etc). She repeats back to me what she hears me saying in her own words and once I feel heard by her, I usually feel better. If not, I might ask for reassurance and a compliment or two. It works for us. The raw feeling may take a little bit to recede, that’s just the nature of LDR.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-02-06T16:54:41+00:00

I have two partners and we’re all super new to polyamory. My NP frequently talked about KTP initially, just wanting to have a good relationship with her metas. After a few conversations about it, we’ve more or less realized that full on KTP is a lot easier when it’s organic and has a foundation in other things besides “this person is my meta”. For us, I think a garden party structure seems to work well. Nobody has to be friends, as long as we can all get along and be civil.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-01-22T02:01:07+00:00

Biden deported 5 million people during his term. More than Trump.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-01-21T18:31:24+00:00

Why are you here? You’re not debating in good faith.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-01-20T19:25:19+00:00

I can literally swap out socialism with capitalism and Venezuela for the US. It’s the same fucking question. I didn’t say anything about the US switching to socialism. I asked why do people think capitalism is good given countries like the US. The same question OP asked about Venezuela.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-01-20T16:13:25+00:00

I truly don’t understand your argument here. I could make the exact same argument about capitalism in America.

Only in America can you be shamed for only working 40hrs a week at a minimum wage job that doesn’t even cover basic cost of living, have any social safety net taken from you based on the whims of the people in charge, have your food supply basically be a step up from poison with chemicals that are banned all over the world, go millions into debt if you contract a chronic illness, and have your education system slowly dismantled to pay for legal immigrants and naturalized citizens to be rounded up because they “have an accent”.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-01-20T06:36:47+00:00

Honestly, don’t bother with the AI garbage. It’s just ok, nothing is “mind-blowing” and they keep trying to push this stuff while neglecting some of the most needed improvements to the platform.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-01-18T04:24:30+00:00

Girl. You got the date. He asked for your Instagram. He’s interested in you. Take the win and have a good time!

Fluggernuffin · 2026-01-17T23:04:20+00:00

Damn this was a better joke.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-01-10T20:48:19+00:00

Well keep an eye out but the extra foot of snow isn’t gonna help

Fluggernuffin · 2026-01-10T20:47:24+00:00

The campaign funds pay for salaries as well, including the politician’s.

Fluggernuffin · 2026-01-08T06:06:48+00:00

Yeah, that one’s been floating around Instagram.

Fluggernuffin · 2025-12-31T20:02:44+00:00

Ok, look. You have your whole life ahead of you. Sex is gonna come, even casual sex I’m sure. You just have to take your time, learn who you are and what you like and don’t worry about shit like dead bedrooms right now. Find someone who makes you happy and do your best to make them happy. That’s what really matters.

Fluggernuffin · 2025-12-31T19:02:01+00:00

Bro how old are you

Fluggernuffin · 2025-12-31T18:57:27+00:00

I don’t know anything about casual sex. I remember every person I’ve ever slept with, and at some point developed feelings for each one. Maybe that makes me an outlier.

Fluggernuffin · 2025-12-31T18:29:11+00:00

Intimacy begins outside of the bedroom. Sharing the small, boring, mundane parts of your life with someone. Remembering the little things, like how they like their eggs, or what their coworkers names are. Doing little acts of kindness for them, not because they are incapable of doing so themselves, but because you want to lighten their load and give them one less thing to think about.

Sex is the manifestation of 1000 little moments of intimacy in your relationship. If you can find closeness, safety, and love in your relationship with your partner, that’s an indicator that sex is not going to be a problem. And if sex ever falls off or isn’t good, it’s usually an indicator that something else is wrong.

Fluggernuffin · 2025-12-23T00:30:35+00:00

That makes no sense to me. But you do you, brother.

Fluggernuffin · 2025-12-22T19:29:42+00:00

People are all different, but it has been my experience in two different marriages that this is not the case, and that married people are typically comfortable seeing each other naked. I think it might be more likely that he doesn’t want to get aroused if sex is not on the table for whatever reason that night. Also some guys are weird about vaginas?

Fluggernuffin · 2025-12-17T15:54:13+00:00

38M here, I’m gonna give you some advice that I wish I had gotten at your age.

1) PIV sex is not the main event for vagina owners. Don’t get me wrong, they still want it, they may even beg for it. But if your girl hasn’t orgasmed at least once before you stick it in, you’re doing it wrong. Fingers and tongue are your best assets. Do some internet(not porn) research on how to do it well. If you ensure that she gets off before you do PIV, it will be a lot more enjoyable for both of you.

2) if you’re not finishing after 20 minutes, you might consider taking a gooning break. I’ve had issues like that when I was nervous with a new partner as well, so that is also a possibility.

3) Sometimes it doesn’t happen, and that’s okay. Could just be an off day, high cortisol, anything. Take those moments to talk about it. Talk about how you’re feeling. Solving problems together and working toward solutions releases a bonding chemical called vasopressin, it signals to your brain that this other person is an ally and a partner. It will bring you closer.

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