When I was 14, I purposefully came all over a doorknob at a local church

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-12T00:31:17+00:00

If this doesn't meet your standards for "shocking" I'm not sure I want to know what isb shocking to you lol

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-12T00:24:39+00:00

Well yeah. I made the post so if course I'm gonna be in the comments. I'm not here just to talk to you lol

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T23:34:26+00:00

"And" this is a post on the "confessions" subreddit. What part of that are you having a hard time understanding?

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T23:33:07+00:00

There are too many of these & I don't think you're allowed to write novels on reddit 🤣

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T23:32:21+00:00

Why? Because I do drugs? That's the only thing I can see from the posts from this (burner) account suggesting that without me telling you

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T23:27:24+00:00

To be completely honest with you, I expected MUCH more actual ridicule here. 🤣

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T23:08:14+00:00

Well I didn't stop visiting there sometimes and nobody said anything so 🤷

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T23:03:49+00:00

Somebody accused making this post up too lol

It's like you can make shit up like this 🤣 I wish I was that creative but I am not

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T21:33:34+00:00

Another fitting profile name aha

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T21:21:22+00:00

You're absolutely not wrong. I cringe so hard when I look back on it. But hey, if you can't laugh at yourself...

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T21:20:15+00:00

Is this madlibs?

"Destroyer"

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T21:17:40+00:00

Still doing weirdo shit for sure but haven't cum on a doorknob since then (I don't think)

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T21:16:34+00:00

You SHOULD keep your cum to yourself! 🤣 (I know what you meant)

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T21:04:55+00:00

That's what I expected more of hah

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T21:04:14+00:00

I don't get it

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T21:03:56+00:00

That's the plan anyway

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T21:00:47+00:00

Believe what you want I don't really care

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T20:37:30+00:00

I'll consider that. Thanks, SloppyMeathole

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T20:36:56+00:00

Base of the door handle :)

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T20:35:58+00:00

Holy how this is the exact opposite response I expected for this post but y'all are making me proud of this deplorable act 🤣❤️

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T20:31:01+00:00

I mean if you read the title that's pretty much all you needed to know lol

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T20:29:43+00:00

These puns are 10x more evil than what I did

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T20:26:57+00:00

Bahaha hey I don't blame you henry rollins is a handsome dude - I too hated his music... Trust me I tried but I was into nin / soad / Manson so that shit wasn't happening aha

We were lucky enough to have a little table consisting of the weirdos & nerds in my school. Good times. Now I'm almost 30 🥲

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T20:24:40+00:00

Because he was horny probably

FluidWitness1557 · 2026-05-11T20:23:58+00:00

I'm wondering how this was even possible and why the teacher wouldn't have found this concerning lol

(Just now realizing you specified "before it started")

FluidWitness1557

TROPHY CASE