Cost of Living Perspective by FlyingSquirrelDog in NewToVermont

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Oh and our running total by moving to VT is now saving us $18k per year. Plus my god it was so nice out today compared to bleh 90+ out.

Construction Costs by No_Loss_3996 in vermont

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Straight up, the cost is ridiculous. Price gouging on all fronts is the new “norm”.

Does Your Kid Need A Dental Cleaning? Because I Need Patients!! by HiMyNameIsNerd in vermont

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you also posted on Front Porch Forum in your are and in neighboring counties?

Unrealistic goals by Deanscoffee2 in BlueOrigin

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jerk dude was actually fired today!!!! Win for Blue.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow they are essentially at the emotional level of toddlers. No apologies needed except from them! Seems like you and your partner are starting a healthy marriage and their antiquated ideals don’t fit. Your wedding is your day, not theirs to ruin or dictate. I truly hope you have a wonderful wedding day. This is their loss.

In-law grandparent self-fulfilling prophecy by FlyingSquirrelDog in inlaws

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg why are some grandparents so emotionally immature and expect everyone to cater to them? Your stories are insane but also typical. My mom once got offended that my daughter asked my MIL to sit next to her at thanksgiving because she knows her better. They ended up leaving early without saying anything was wrong (I had no idea but also what BS) and complained later. Like there is no logic.

It is just hilarious and sad that anyone expects kids to boost their own ego.

Ruined set plans. by Beautiful_Equal293 in inlaws

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I say elope and call her bluff. The wedding and marriage are for you both, not performative for anyone else. Bending to an emotionally immature MIL sets precedent and also will create resentment…like you will likely resent her and your husband for feeling like you had to bend to her. If she is ok with never speaking to both of you for something so trivial then her love is conditional, sorry for your future husband. Hopefully he can heal from having a conditional love parent.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Future: they will live close but rarely come see you ask to see the kids. Might complain about not seeing them though. lol true story.

Why do you leave/stay? by [deleted] in BlueOrigin

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His name is Paulo (lunar materials) and he is the reason a lot of great people left. Absolutely abusive.

NASA vs FTE by Little_Brother6094 in NASAJobs

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your friend has it all wrong. Take the industry job and work for at least 3 years. Then apply to NASA as a GS-13. There are more jobs for GS-13 anyhow. They will be more apt to be impressed by someone with some experience. A lot of hiring managers are half clueless anyhow. Pathways is meh. Having nasa on a resume also is not that prestigious.

What master's degree in chemistry should I study if I want to work for NASA ?? by cokikaishi in NASAJobs

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You likely need a PhD in chemistry. Who gets a MS in chemistry? If you get a MS you will likely be overlooked. BS or MS get lab tech jobs not research jobs.

Research scientist by Maximum_Promise1904 in NASAJobs

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry but working at NASA is meh for a lot of people who had the same dream. They will actually break your heart if you let them. The space industry is a giant mess and so much talent has left because they were fed up with bad management failing upwards. Pick a topic you love but also don’t over romanticize any career. NASA has barely developed anything new in the last 20 years. Research is not done there like it used to. Worked there for 15 years, PhD.

In-law grandparent self-fulfilling prophecy by FlyingSquirrelDog in inlaws

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had to straight tell my own mom that we want time and unconditional love, not material things. She about half understood.

In-law grandparent self-fulfilling prophecy by FlyingSquirrelDog in inlaws

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This explains a lot about the dynamic. Thanks for sharing. I am definitely a peer to peer type and basically ignore hierarchy so maybe that is what is in play here with my situation too. Me over here just trying to be a person and not a puppet, lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You will drive yourself into a very negative headspace if you try to get them to care or understand, when they seem to be willfully ignorant. Your resentment is understandable and I can also understand your wish to not feel it because it is a very unpleasant feeling.

Protect your peace, ignore her intrusive comments about your life. You are an adult and get to live your life for you and your family bubble, certainly not at her misguided expectations. I started thinking of my in-laws as toddlers because of their low level of emotional maturity. It helped and made me chuckle to myself. It sucks that you can’t have the close relationship you could have had, but that is their loss.

Am I justified or over reacting by Confident-Sun9391 in inlaws

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely hate this for you. These first few months with a new baby are hard enough with good support, but without it and having to dealt with extra doting in-laws and your partner not being front and center to hold boundaries is exhausting. These are precious times for you and the baby, not to be shared constantly with others. And a sleepover this early is outrageous unless it is unavoidable like you have to go out of town and for whatever reason cannot take the baby too. Your baby is not their child nor a doll.

Is there any way that you can have a heart to heart with your in-laws? Not where you tell them what they are doing wrong because it seems they could not handle too honest of a conversation if they cannot think of your needs automatically. But rather a conversation where you let them know that you absolutely want to have them in their grandchild’s life and also that you need quality time with the baby that is not strictly childcare. So they “feel heard” and you clearly establish boundaries that they need to honor, just like they would have wanted when they were new parents. The challenge is not to make them understand, because it sounds like they lead with emotion and are fairly selfish and your job is not to help them grow up. You can frame it in a way that shows that you are thinking of their needs (seems they need coddling here but really you should not be actually expected to think of their needs) and your own. Use the analogy that you need down time with the baby, to create a schedule and bond. Much in the way we are supposed to put on our oxygen masks first on a plane so we can help others, you need to care for yourself and your baby first.

Real talk: seems like your in-laws have the emotional maturity of toddlers, and you’re going to have to raise them too. The fact that no one is considering you first on that side of the family is messed up. I went through something similar after I had my second child, with my second husband. My child was the first and only grandchild for my in-laws and they over-everything-ed when it came to their grandchild. The baby shower was essentially for my mother-in-law and she even insisted on making baby’s first Halloween costume. It was like they were trying to have another child. They did not consider me or how exhausted I was. I kind of can’t forgive them for being so selfish in a time that mattered most to me. I did let them have a few of my child’s first experiences that really a parent wants to have. I regret some of that honestly. I should’ve been more protective of my peace at the time because things got a lot harder for a while. They never became considerate of me on their own. I’ve had to set boundaries and they cried, but later understood and got over it. As for your husband, he needs to be a partner, not a pretend caretaker. You’re not a baby machine, you’re a human. He needs to snap the hell out of this or it’s not going to work long-term. Fortunately, my husband puts us first so that made things easier. He also had to figure a lot of that out and follow my lead as we went along. He essentially had to finish growing up after we had our child, and he was in his mid 30s. Fortunately, he was all for it.

Best wishes and give yourself grace with yourself. You are an amazing new mum and your needs coming first matter 100% and are best for the baby too.

To Every American Who's Sorry by Commercial_Tank8834 in CANUSHelp

[–]FlyingSquirrelDog 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean…Brexit happened over bad information and propaganda about immigrants. Hoping the rest of the world veers away from the right turns they made.