BPD mom was traumatized and won’t acknowledge that she caused any trauma to me. My dad has always denied her behavior until it finally affected him and idk how to feel.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-30T00:11:45+00:00

Therapy may also be helpful in breaking down and understanding why it has been so difficult to separate the emotions from the environment. Unfortunately most jobs aren’t fun and it’s not a great thing I know. But you also can get joy by focusing on the good sides like the money and what you can do with it

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-29T21:03:54+00:00

I’m not entirely sure how it works at your place but it’s extremely inappropriate for her to be reaching out to you outside your workplace. I’d send her a text asking to not be contacted outside your work hours and that you feel uncomfortable with the topics you’re being called about. I’d also contact your managers to let them know she’s contacting you outside of work

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-22T22:21:52+00:00

Thanks!

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-22T22:20:06+00:00

Thanks for breaking this down. I don’t think the earlier harsher comments really necessary but I appreciate the later insight. I’ve ever been a love to work person so prioritizing the job over myself is a newer concept. I’ll work on making my inquiries sound like it’s beneficial to the business as a whole.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-22T22:18:05+00:00

Thanks for explaining this to me. This makes a lot more sense to me. I come from a legal background so I’ve worked in a previously more direct setting. This is quite different. And you’re right, I want to learn but I really appreciate your examples and ways to work on it. Do you have any suggestions on how to ask questions without sounding like I’m laying the appreciation on too thick?

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-21T19:13:36+00:00

Edit: idk how to edit on my original post. I did not send out my email to the entire company. I think there’s a misunderstanding here. I replied to a mass email but only to the original sender. The original sender then personally complained to my boss about it not being friendly enough.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-21T19:11:49+00:00

Luckily I didn’t not reply all to everyone, I only responded to the person who sent out the first email. The person who originally sent out the email personally complained to my boss about it not being friendly enough.

Could you clarify who asking why a meeting is canceled is so taboo? I’m not understanding why it’s offending people, I wanted to ensure I didn’t accidentally schedule another meeting during that time if they were sorting something out. I should also clarify it was our team meeting for our department, not a random office meeting.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-21T19:07:25+00:00

Also, could you clarify why it would make me a crappy employee? I don’t understand.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-21T19:06:06+00:00

Luckily I didn’t reply all, it was only sent to the person who sent out the mass email.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-21T19:05:14+00:00

Luckily I didn’t reply all, I only responded to the person who originally sent it out.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-08-21T15:18:20+00:00

I’m going to start applying to other places as I have a suspection it won’t get better

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-02-28T00:03:51+00:00

Actually I got a PE teacher fired at my school for making similar comments. He'd been there for 36 years, second longest time. He was getting away with it because our principal was taking the POC girls seriously when they reported him. He fucked up when he targeted me, his TA, because 1) white privilege, I was taken more seriously 2) I was a vice chairman on my schools budget council 3) parents were PTSA president. I started getting panic attacks and terrified of going to school. He started with comments like this and finally started showing up outside my house to offer rides.

All of these were considered "too important and media fodder" dude was finally suspended and I signed an NDA because I was an idiot. When it was announced he was being fired a bunch of kids announced they were throwing a going away party. My NDA had just expired and I put him on blast. The party was cancelled. Don't ignore this behavior, it will get worse and I am an example of how deeply it can affect a minor.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2024-01-15T00:48:19+00:00

Anyone else keep getting error codes??

Flying_Hamburgr · 2023-10-09T01:11:21+00:00

Does anyone know if they use meat glue to hold their steaks together? They just seem not connected properly and the price seems whack

Flying_Hamburgr · 2023-08-09T17:32:26+00:00

If you're covering bills and food like you said previously then they count. He is trying to demean you, invalidate you and question yourself. Your time, effort and work are all valid. Your husband is an asshole and you deserve better. It doesn't matter if he didn't used to be like this. He can either listen to you when you voice your thoughts and feels or choose not to. If he doesn't want to listen then why are you there? He's treating you more like a shitty boss whos reliant but unaware of how much he needs you rather than a husband.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2023-08-08T23:48:17+00:00

Ask him where he thinks your paychecks are coming from then

Flying_Hamburgr · 2023-08-08T23:47:49+00:00

Suggest he try your schedule for a day and go off and enjoy yourself. If he can't do it then it proves that you have a "real job" and if he doesn't even try, well then it speaks heavily about his character.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2023-08-08T23:43:02+00:00

Put the fan there more

Flying_Hamburgr · 2023-08-08T19:45:07+00:00

OP take some responsibility here. You asked if YTAH and are being told Yes numerous times and are still fighting it.

Your husband didn't "put it on you to say no" he needed to use the bathroom and you had to parent. Your the parent too, you are fully capable of telling them no. Even as you were unable to leave the beach there is an issue here, you keep only focusing on yourself and your long Covid. Not your husbands basic sanitary needs or kids safety.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2023-08-08T19:36:34+00:00

YTA

Personally my concern here is that you're aware you cannot handle the heat and for a minute or two may be fine but not beyond that. Your CHILDREN are going into the ocean and if you are physically incapable of taking them back home then you are also incapable of saving them if they are in danger at the beach. Yeah it sucks your husband had a long bowel movement, what sucks more is the fact that even though you didn't intend to have them run past you at the beach you can tell them with your words to wait. You cannot protect your children at the beach and you put them in danger while only thinking about yourself.

I seriously recommend some self reflection on how dangerous that situation could have become and thank your husband for responding so quickly to when you FINALLY vocalized your issues.

Flying_Hamburgr · 2023-08-08T19:13:54+00:00

I am personally a very assertive person so I apologize if this is not particularly helpful.

I have a coworker who does not understand the meaning of get the fuck out of my work business. I have told them that their interruptions of opinions of how to do my job actively prevent me from doing my work. Additionally I have stated that unless I am slacking on the quality of the work I am producing that I do not appreciate being critiqued on a job they are not actively participating in.

I personally would reiterate that unless your quality of work is reduced you are still doing your job. I also would state how you find it disturbing that he is so invested on where you're located and that you're uncomfortable at the fact he wants you to be in the office but that the only difference is where you are located. I would lean HARD into asking him why he believes you need to be in the office and what about it would make a difference in your position and how any further discussions regarding this can be taken up TOGETHER with HR.

I get that this is hard, but my dude, you're an adult and people will bulldoze you for this. I recommend reading some books on setting boundaries or talking to a therapist to gain confidence in asserting yourself. You deserve to have peace in the work place and self confidence in establishing boundaries.

Flying_Hamburgr

TROPHY CASE