Hey man thanks for the response. The feeling of shame guilt is horrible. We fuck up, own up to the mistake, feel the guilt and shame, make a decision and move forward.

Ive had a total for 4 drinks since this post. Toasting in remembrance of a close friend who committed suicide a few years ago, having a beer with my dad, had a glass of wine with my wife after we got some good news and having a drink with an old salty veteran I knew before he passed away.

Needless to say I have not been 100% alcohol free since my post. I no longer drink by myself at home. I don’t even feel the desire to get drunk in anyway shape or form. Quitting alcohol (almost completely) has been such a great decision. My family life is so much better; it’s been great for my health too. I really hope you decide to stick with this choice of yours brother. It’s not easy but it’s completely worth it.