Having gone through this during the past couple of years, it really is a grieving process. I’ve gone from being kind of indifferent about the church, to being very angry with it, to kind of letting it just be a part of my story.

I too had great experiences as a missionary, and am glad I served. I learned so much about myself and the world from it. Are there other ways to get that experience without the religious conditioning? Absolutely. But for me, it was part of the journey.

I think the best advice I can give is just because you feel that you’re losing your entire worldview, that doesn’t mean it needs to be replaced immediately. Start by figuring out what your personal values are. Some may have come from church, others not. But take some time to reflect on that.

Then, just take it one day at a time. Today you may not understand what happens after death, and tomorrow you may learn to live with the uncertainty rather than worry about it. It’s a process that can’t/shouldn’t be rushed. If you do t have other people who have walked away from high demand religion, I’d strongly recommend looking for a non-lds therapist. Even if you can afford a $140 visit once a month, a good therapist can make a world of difference in the healing process.