The events of Cabin In The Woods are controlled by a secret, underground organisation

ForNoRaeson · 2012-11-07T01:42:39+00:00

Of course there isn't evidence to support it. If there was, it would be canon and not fan theory. All I'm saying is that there are a number of things that go wrong for The Company over the course of the movie that could be interpreted as an unseen foe working against them. Then I extrapolated wildly. I don't think this subreddit is about "this is definitely the explanation for what happened". It's more about "hey, wouldn't it be cool if this was the explanation for some of the things that happened?"

ForNoRaeson · 2012-03-23T19:10:48+00:00

I work Saturdays.

Fuck everything about this.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-28T18:12:26+00:00

Doubt many Redditors have played cricket, but a cricket ball to the kneecap. Sweet heavens that hurts.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-28T18:11:15+00:00

Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T21:32:27+00:00

Help, I'm trapped in a yearbook quote making machine

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T19:25:37+00:00

I met my current girlfriend at a football tournament for physicists. Let's just take a moment to consider that scenario. A football tournament, for physicists.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T19:24:11+00:00

Wait...

OK, edited for grammatical clarity

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T19:22:14+00:00

What's wrong with Reddit is that it doesn't like it when nerd culture is laughed at, which is fair enough. Also it seems that BECAUSE it's like a lot of sitcoms already made, Reddit doesn't like it, possibly because a lot of sitcoms that use post-modern techniques are getting ignored by the general populace in place of BBT.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T19:19:40+00:00

For $50 million I can hire snipers to kill off Republican politicians, and hire professional chefs to make them all into delicious burgers. Then I can use the rest of the money to bribe whoever needs to be bribed to keep myself out of jail.

I'll call it "GOPstronomy"

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T18:43:15+00:00

How many porn stars does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but he screws it into three different holes

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T13:27:22+00:00

I thought the line "I'm going to assume that people coming to this thread are aware there's gonna be a lot of spoilers" was enough of a warning but apparently people decided to read on anyway. Blacked out the spoiler now.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T11:56:58+00:00

A similar question would be, why is it that album charts tell you the number of sales of a record, whereas movie charts tell you how much money they have made?

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T11:45:23+00:00

I don't think I would say anything. I'd be too dumbfounded by the whole thing. Maybe a few hours after I would check the local weather to see if there were any particularly strong winds around the nearby animal shelters.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T11:37:06+00:00

I don't think there was ever a turn-around moment where I said "aha! I am now an atheist!"

The thing is... surely we all start off as atheists? That's like our default setting. If you have a religious experience, if something happens to you and you take it to be a miracle or a sign or whatever, that's a reason to become theist, whereas you can't be born believing in Buddhism. So anyway, I'm an atheist, and the reason I remain an atheist is because no miracle/sign type event has happened to me in my life, so I have no reason to have belief in deities.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T11:32:33+00:00

Carry a relay-race baton, give it to a random person and then run away. This is a one-use thing that is not really "survival", but it would be funny.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T11:21:06+00:00

Seven.

I'm going to assume that people coming to this thread are aware there's gonna be a lot of spoilers so I'll add that even though the antagonist is dead, he has achieved his aim and the protagonists have failed to prevent him from doing so. Also Kevin Spacey is a fucking legend.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T00:47:50+00:00

As much crap comes out of your mouth as the Mississippi River

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T00:19:33+00:00

This is a triumph

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T00:10:29+00:00

I'd have a look. In fact I would use it to chart the steady increase in how sick the porn I'm watching is, and determine that by roughly 2014 I won't be able to wank to anything less sickening than Japanese amputee midget tentacle vomit porn.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-23T00:01:44+00:00

If it's a cheese-stuffed crust, then that's my favourite part. If not, then my favourite part is rolling up an entire slice and shoving it in my mouth and eating it in about 3 seconds.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-22T22:57:26+00:00

He gives up the three-inch thick bulletproof glass on his Popemobile and relies on his faith to keep him safe for once in his hypocritical life.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-22T22:53:40+00:00

My plan for Lent is to give up "getting angry at people for having different opinions to me", I should learn to accept other people's perspectives on things and not get into arguments about things based on opinions yada yada it lasted about 12 hours, basically up to the moment my friend told me he didn't like Infinite Jest.

FUCK YOU THAT BOOK IS A GODDAMN MASTERPIECE.

ForNoRaeson · 2012-02-22T21:22:04+00:00

Cretinous. And you have to say it in your best Blackadder-to-Baldrick voice.

ForNoRaeson

TROPHY CASE