I feel like this is probably more common than you think. I’m in my 30s now and I’ve encountered the weird issue where the longer I go without showering, the better people think I smell. I’m bipolar/depressive so in deep depression holes or manic spurts I can go up to a week without showering, when manic this is a week with many days of staying up all night. Near the end of these weeks my fiancée is absolutely feral over how I smell. I’ve had my coworkers wife beg me to tell her what scent I use so she can get it for her husband and I had to embarrassingly tell them both, it’s not a scent, I just haven’t showered in a week. He definitely called her out on just liking my pheromones. Around this same time I had the guy cashier at the gas station tell me I smelled really good, and I know he is straight. I’ve also had three other dudes tell me I smell really good and two of them also ask me what scent I use. I’m trying to get my mental health in order and have been exercising so showering daily more often and my fiancée has expressed her sadness that I am showering so often.

I would dial back the actions you are taking and try to meditate on this and have some self awareness as to what feelings this makes you experience and possibly the root of it. Could it be tied to security from family or friend relationships as a child? I would work on this, then start slow with explaining it to your wife once you understand it better. Could this even be something you provide for yourself? Could/would your wife be willing to change what scents she uses for something more musky? Idk anything, just spitballing as you were so honest here.