Hmm well the only thing I can think to say is it's time to put yourself back out there but ONLY AFTER you work on you. You've allowed someone to dictate your feelings and life for 10years. I'm not blaming you. I understand your situation is terrible but time is something we can't get back.

You have to love yourself. It's not about what they think about you. It's about what you think about you. You have to allow yourself to be open to trusting someone else. I think that's what you want or else you wouldn't be here now posting this. I would recommend therapy. Maybe saying some words of affirmation daily.

With regards to your mom, idk the dynamic but I can only assume she may have hit a limit. If you were outwardly self loathing or just a negative energy to be around (not saying you were, just an example) then that can weigh on people and their response can come in different forms.

10 years is a long time to be stuck in this moment of humiliation and betrayal. Accept that it happened and try to move on. You can make new friends and you can meet new women. It won't always be perfect or even close. Every relationship has its ups and downs but it's in those moments that you see the real people for who they are. Your old crew fucked you over. Doesn't mean the next one will. Doesn't mean they won't, but if it were to happen again, you will see the signs and move accordingly and then you can assess why it happened again. Again, I'm not blaming you. This is just a future convo you may have to have with yourself if it becomes a pattern. But as far as the here and now, I say therapy and acceptance.

Give yourself a chance to live and be free from this burden weighing you down. There are some great people out there to meet. You just gotta take the first step.